To think this mother is too soft on pushing?

[mummahubba]

My DS is almost 3 and a friends Ds is 2.5. Her boy is always pushing mine, quite violently and it upsets my Ds. He is a gentle boy (not wimp!) and never ever pushes other children. The mother only ever says 'no... you mustn't push other children.' There is no change in her tone of voice, no sorry demanded and no consequences. Am I very old fashioned??? If my son was always pushing his friend I would have some very firm words with him and tell him we would go if he continued and I would follow through. I think this mother is too soft and I'm beginning to think I might end up telling him off a little bit. We don't see much of eachother but go to same things. What do you think? Is she too soft?

TBH, I would stop seeing the friend and her son and tell her why. You don't have to subject your small child to this sort of behaviour and YANBU or old fashioned.

TBH I don't always think forcing an apology works - especially if the child is doing it for attention, forcing an apology out of them means they get it! But I am a great believer in the firm voice/move child away approach. You don't need to put up with it but only you know how the other mother will react if you tell her child off. Might be a case of voting with your feet and just avoiding them in future? YANBU

I'd have no problem giving the child a firm "NO, that's not nice" if he was pushing my child all the time.

YANBU - am in similar situation (ages reversed) and am sick of it. My DD's sweet natured and really upset when it happens to her (if I hadn't had her at home I would think she's been swapped at birth! ) I always come down quickly and harshly on any bad behaviour. I really don't understand why other parents think it's ok to let their DC terrorise other DC.

My DD went through a phase of pushing and although I always told her off it was difficult to stop her doing it. In many cases there was no obvious reason e.g. she wasn't trying to get a toy - and I think she was curious about the effect - you push - someone falls down. This meant she was more likely to do it to her more "sensitive" friends than the more rough and tumble ones who didn't really react to her. I did say to my friends that I was happy for them to tell her off as well so you could certainly suggest this to your friend. But in general I think it's a phase and he should soon grow out of it.

I always found that if someone else told my kids off/used a firm voice, it worked wonders and they actually listened

I could tell them all day long not to do something but as soon as one of my mates told them, they'd immediately stop