Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To want another baby so soon after DS2?

15 replies

blahdeeblah · 29/08/2012 16:31

Just want someone to talk some sense into me or give me advice.

I had DD nearly 5 years ago. Perfect pregnancy and birth. I then went on to TTC for almost 2 years...well not TTC as such, as I get pregnant very quickly, but I lost 4 babies in a space of over 1 year. It was a horrible time, and I have realised how fragile life is. I had my DS in January and was overjoyed at finally having our long awaited sibling for DD.

Now I don't know if it's my hormones (have cut down on breastfeeding) but I really want another baby now. I don't know if anyone has experienced broodiness like this, but my heart aches for a baby and to be pregnant. I've never felt anything like this before. Before my DS, getting pregnant and sustaining it turned into a scientific mission for me. Rather than think about the end product of a baby, all my mind focussed on, was hoping the pregnancy was viable.

I should be due my period any day and we haven't really used any contraception either this month (I know, I know I'm stupid). The type of things I think about trying to justify having another baby so soon are that I don't know if any future pregnancies will be successful. I might end up waiting another 2-3 years trying to conceive and have a baby again. There is a 4 year gap between DS and DD, and I would have liked a smaller between them.

Anyway I appear to be rambling, so aibu? When do you know it's the right time to have another baby? Is this just my hormones?
Is it hard coping with a 5 year old, 1 year old and newborn?

OP posts:

Original poster

blahdeeblah · 29/08/2012 16:33

Sorry I meant to say DC2 in the title. I have a DD and DS.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 29/08/2012 16:37

If your heart aches for a baby and to be pregnant, I'd say you probably shouldn't TTC right now.

If it's another child you want - to extend your family then fine, but the pregnancy and baby bit is such a tiny part of it.

How does your DH feel?

firawla · 29/08/2012 16:42

I think it will be fine, if you want another one then go for it. I had smallish age gaps with mine, and I know what you mean about the broodiness cos I get like that too . I don't think there is really such a thing as "right time" however it happens you will make it work for your family?
good luck and i hope your pregnancy goes really smoothly with your next baby

Loie159 · 29/08/2012 16:44

DS was 6 months old when I got pregnant with DD so there is only 15 months between them. I am glad we did it that way but DS took ages to conceive and DD was 1 attempt..... so your fertility can change massivly over time / with pregnancy etc. I understnad you want another DC and to be pregnant, but you really need to look at it from a few angels before you decide. Can you afford another DC? what is your work status.... if did conceive in the next month or so and you are on mat levae you would conceive whilst still away form work - would this have an impact on your ability to return to work? What does DH think? could you cope with have 2 little ones full time on your own ? If you had to go back to work could you afford childcare? Only you know the answer to these questions, so only you know if YABU or Not! Its not a really small time in between as there would be at least 18 months which is not the smallest gap. My great aunt had 2 of her 13 children 9 and a half months apart! Makes my eyes water!

GhostShip · 29/08/2012 16:44

It seems what you want is to be pregnant, not the end product - a child.

I'd say wait and think about it a bit more.

dizzylizzi · 29/08/2012 17:02

From personal.experience id say it was a.mix of yabu and yanbu. I have a 3 year old and 19 month old twins. its hard work. I can see where you are coming from. but id wait till your youngest was in school tbh. my oldest has suffered imo because of the lack of attention due to him because I had two poorly (cmpi) girls to look after.

Original poster

blahdeeblah · 29/08/2012 17:28

Dh and I have always wanted 3 children. When I spoke to him about how I was feeling a few days ago he said he's ready whenever I am.

Money isn't really an issue. It would be tighter, but we're thinking of moving to a bigger house in a cheaper city further north in the next year or so, so I am sure we'd have the space too. I'm not working at the moment, but I saved up alot from when I was, and I think we could survive a bit longer without me working yet.

I just don't know if what I'm feeling is my hormones or actually wanting a baby.

DS is a very placid baby, and easy going. DD seems to want alot of attention at the moment, but I know she will calm down once she starts school.

OP posts:

Original poster

blahdeeblah · 29/08/2012 17:29

My heart says I should try soon, but my mind says I should at least wait until DS is 1 years old.

OP posts:

GnocchiNineDoors · 29/08/2012 17:31

Give yourself a fortnight minimum to mull it over.

The day dd turned 6mo I jad the maddest.hormonal surge which left me begging dh for another (id always said I only want one)....he said "we will tlk.about this next month"....by the end of the week I was back to.only wanting one

Mother nature is a minx.

Nanny0gg · 29/08/2012 18:21

A one-year old is still a baby - but at a really delightful stage imo. For me, that would be much too close a gap and I would feel like I was missing out because of the obvious tiredness you get with a newborn.

Wouldn't do for me. Wait a bit to be sure.

Wigglewoo · 29/08/2012 18:42

If you're not using contraception I'd say you're already trying !! :)

(Pointless post really but had to say it)!

Original poster

blahdeeblah · 29/08/2012 20:49

Yes you're all right. I should think about it a while longer. I'm just waiting for my period to start to see if I can get over this broody feeling.

wigglewoo I know , but in my defense the pill I was on was playing havoc with my cycle so I took a break until my next period.

OP posts:

GoldWithADragonTattoo · 29/08/2012 21:10

I think I would wait until your youngest is over a year and reconsider. Perhaps just use condoms in the meantime so you can make a quick decision if you do decide to TTC. I always felt very broody when I have a little baby and it actually lessens as having a baby becomes more realistic when the younger one is a toddler / young child. And for me it is very much wanting another pg and baby rather than wanting a third child to juggle. You need to ask yourself honestly which part you want and I would not rush the decision.

Anonymumous · 29/08/2012 22:12

I know how you feel. I started trying for number two when DS1 was four months old, but he was four years old before he finally got a sibling. DC3 was only born in April, and I told everyone all the way through that this would definitely be my last baby... but now I can't stop thinking about having another. They are all so darned adorable - my heart longs for another and my head says, "Don't be so bloody silly!"

griphook · 29/08/2012 22:24

My ds2 is three months and I crave another baby!

Dh doesn't want anymore. So I just have to take a deep breath and harden my heart.

You have my sympathies

Flip