to think that parenting should be a joint venture?

[Meeknmild]

Apparently I'm a feminist and want to rule the roost...er, no, I just thought it would be fair to share equal responsibility for all childcare matters?

Maybe I'm just being sensitive because I'm permanently tired atm but is it too much to ask for his lordship to get up in the middle of the night occasionally when our dd4 asks to be tucked in etc. OH needs his sleep because he works all day ...

What do you mean by a joint venture? If you mean share all tasks equally then I assume you work too?

I completely believe parenting is an equal venture in principle, but some couples choose to divvy things up so one does more home stuff and one works. If one parent isn't working then it's fair enough that they do stuff like night wakings tbh as its easier if you're home the next day than if you're going to work on very broken sleep (believe me, I have done both when I worked part time. Broken nights aren't easy, but they're a bit more easy when you aren't having to work next day)

Very difficult one to answer without more info tbh.

Parental responsibility should be shared equally. This includes: Seeing to baby's needs wrt getting up in the middle of the night, doing feeds, changing nappies, making sure the house is habitable and also making sure there is money coming in to pay for everything.

How many middle of the night duties your OH gets is going to be very dependent on his job, does he have to get up at 6 and do a 90 minute drive to get to work? In that case yes he does need to get a decent nights sleep or he's a danger on the road the next day. If he's only got a short commute by public transport then you've got more leeway, but keep in mind he still has to be able to function at work or he's jeopardising his ability to earn and thus provide the earning part of his parental responsibility.

Have you suggested that he does the late night stuff on friday and saturday nights so that you can get a good nights sleep at the weekend? Can he deal with some of the evening stuff so you can get to bed early and not suffer overly in the week?

I do not understand why so many people seem to think the working partner must have 100% uninterrupted nights sleep and the sahp should do all the night waking. I think it probably makes sense for the sahp to do more, but not all. It is not impossible to get up once a night and still function for work, and being a sahp does not necessarily mean you'll be able to nap during the daytime. So i think YANBU.

Im all for the WOHM parent to get a relatively full ight's sleep the night before they are at work, however on nights when they are off the next day, I would expect them to share or do most of the night wakings. Certainly that is how it is in our house.

If your DC are pretty much sleeing through, and wake once max every now and again for dummy / blanket / cuddle, then surely it doesn't disturb sleep that much, so both parents should do whatever needs doing.

WHat happens with lie ins?

Compromise. So, at ATM and all the time DD has bad nights and wakes early. If I have to take a few for the team, my DH makes damn sure he does too. So, I had a bad couple of nights but DD and I slept in this morning. Came down to a sparkling kitchen and a packed lunch made for me.

I love the WOH partner gets to sleep and the SAH partner doesn't. Interesting when both DH and I WOH and we share. Why do men get a get out of jail free card? I work and I don't get one.

I did virtually all the night feeds for DS. Most for DD.
It was "my thing" when XW was on maternity.
If he's driving next morning, that's a bit different.