to think friends and family would congratulate DS1 on his GCSEs?

[TheSpook]

Or am I am being a bit PFB?
He worked really, really hard and got a clutch of As and A*s (although I would have been proud of him whatever he got as he did his best). My mum made a big fuss and sent him a card but my sister and best friend zilch. Not even a text.

canoe this isn't about congratulating only because of A/As. The point is that the lad's done important exams (despite what fredfredgeorge* thinks) and it's nice for close family and friends to acknowledge that in some way (whether that's by way of a card, FB comment, verbal congratulations or whatever way people choose to do it). It's nothing to do with being more deserving of family attention than someone who got different/lower results.

You are not being unreasonable. I would be annoyed too. I have a large family who pile in with congratulations over everything (any excuse for a party) had this growing up as well and j think it's very important for a teenager especially to be assured that their effort was appreciated.

"canoe this isn't about congratulating only because of A/A*s"

Why did the OP mention them then?

I don;t think I agree with that, CanoeSlalom. I think any member of the family who has worked hard and had success at something is temporarily deserving of special treatment!
However, OP, how do your relatives know? WHen you told them, what did they say? I'd only expect them to ask me to pass on congratulations. If you text/emailed/fb-ed and they haven't yet seen you or him, I wouldn't expect anything until they do.

I think you are being a bit unreasonable - grandparents maybe - but i wouldn't expect aunts, uncles, cousins and friends to give a stuff

Probably to show that he had been very successful, Canoe. As far as we know there isn't another 16 year old in the family with lower results this time. Of course people should be congratulated for achievements, but I think it is relevant in this case that the achievement is pretty big. Even though I wouldn;t expect friends and family to make a big fuss.

Well done your ds Op.
I put my ds's higher results on facebook. My family are all over the country, which is mainly why I have it.
Everybody was really chuffed for him, and he was pleased with the acknowledgement of how well he'd done.

I think it depends. How are events usual celebrated? If the family always send out congratulations cards then I'd be upset, if not, I wouldn't be too bothered.

How much of a fuss have you made about them?

A relative of mine has just got their results and has done brilliantly. We are the sort of family that congratulate such achievements and I've been meaning to sort out an amazon/iTunes gift card.

The only thing deterring me is the patents reaction. I feel that I have had every single achievement this child has ever made rammed down my throat often in conversations where little attention os paid to my life or immediate families successes. Maybe I'm jealous of the attention. Maybe I just find it a bit distasteful...can't quite sort out my emotions (I'm not jealous of the exam results....stealth boast...mine were better! )

I need to though as I'm currently punishing a bright high acheiving teen for their parents actions which is hardly fair.

Of the four of my nephews and nieces who have done public exams so far, what happens is they post on fb about their success/failure, and their aunties/uncles like and comment about it. And thats enough imo. This is not a card and present occasion

completely understand you op, I'd feel exactly the same, have similar going on here

a big well done to your ds!

Sometimes people don't like to ask in case they have had a disappointment with the results. But I don't think everybody sends a card for GCSE's.

I'm amazed how many people think it's fine. I certainly think YANBU.
My ds has just done his, and had all his Aunts / Uncles phoning up to see how he'd done, and have sent cards. Whether it is a big thing or not in their lives is irrelevant, most people realise it's a big thing for 16 yr olds.

My ds has received a card from my parents (also got a Good Luck card from them), some friends across the road (who are 'into' cards) and, today from me and dh. That's more than I would expect, actually. However, everyone else who has heard what results he got (and I've not volunteered them to anyone who hasn't specifically asked, and that's people like my brother/sister/best friend and friends with similar-aged kids), have all said "oh, excellent, tell him well done from us." Which I've done.
I don't think we can expect more than this really.

Of course they should remember and care! Some of the comments on here must be from people who don't have teenagers and don't appreciate how hard kids work these days. When I did my O levels no one took a great deal of interest and I can't say I particularly put myself out. Now I am a teacher, I know how things have changed - the pupils have so much pressure put on them to work hard for two years (not just cram in the last couple of weeks like we did in my day) and their education consumes the whole family in a different way these days. My niece just got her results and we all made a fuss of her because she worked extraordinarily hard and we are proud of her.