To say enough of the guilt please!

[Sparklesandglitter]

Sorry this is ranty...
Thank you mrs midwife for telling me I should NOT be giving my baby formula today (4 days after a very traumatic birth when I have extremely sore cracked bleeding nipples (tact yes you exclaimed at saying how traumatised they were)) and thank you for telling me that the reason for this was because I had made her have nipple confusion (the trauma started before the bottle feeds obveously) and as a rest I had caused a poor latch. And thank you all the Nhs literature warning me of all the "dangers" to formula feeding
But I just want you to know Nhs that there is no greater guilt trip than a screaming new born at 4.30am that has drunk the last formula and must now wait 40 minutes till the next bottle will be ready?
Or the frustration of hand expressing an oz of milk whilst poor newborn screams and screams unable to understand why mummy cant give her food now and to the promptly throw said ounce of breast milk straight back up due to too much screaming?
So Nhs save the effort of making me feel guilty this is NOT the easy way out!!!!!
Sorry for ranting, I'm done now and yes I am going to see a breast feeding councillor tomorrow as I know "breast is best" but bloody bank holidays mess up everything!!!
Thank you if you have read this far I feel better now!!!
back to expressing

OP, it's tough having a newborn. Hope you manage a bit of sleep. It usually seems a lot better then.

Not read the whole thread but .. I have 3 dds, all breasted for as long as I could stand the excruciating pain Akin to having needles stuck in my nipples. Dd3 lasted about 2 weeks bf. I filled 4-6 bottles of water for feeds, sealed the bottles, left them at room temperature then added the powder when needed. Never once have I made up just one bottle at a time! My dds are now 11, 9 and 6 and making up their feeds like this has done them absolutely no harm.

You need support with breastfeeding if your nipples are cracked and bleeding the latch isn't right.

If your midwife isn't giving this then ring one of the breastfeeding help lines. They are all trained breastfeeding councils.

If your midwife didn't watch a whole feed but still said the latch was right then she's not done the job right.

Remember that a 5 day olds tummy can only hold about 30 ml, so if you gave the formula then the breast milk she may have thrown it back up as to full. It may not have satisfied her need to suck though and that is possibly why she was so upset still after feeding fed.

Come over to breast and bottle feeding to get some more support.

If you don't have them to hand the numbers are all on this website www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/breastfeeding-help-support.aspx

Thank you everybody, I have now found Nhs guidance about making bottles in advance which supports all this advice
Why do they have to make it so difficult??! So the plan now is speak to BFC ASAP, try to get help with her latch, make up water in advance, not stress out so much as long as baby is happy warm clean and fed then I'm happy! Not listen to people who guilt trip and enjoy these final minutes of peace before PFB wakes up for breakfast!
Thank you all again I feel much more reassured!

For OP: hugs, it's obvious you're doing your best. HCP need to learn the difference between education and guilt tripping. Formula maybe isn't as good as breast milk, but it's still designed for babies and is a lot better than a generation ago. Some people just don't get on with breast feeding.

However, if you do want to stick at it, give it at least 2 weeks for your nipples to get the hang of it. And 6 weeks to get fully into the swing of the whole thing. But certainly, a BF councillor is a good step too.

For everyone else: The current guidelines on making up formula are because water needs to be at least 70 degrees to kill the possible bacteria in the milk powder.

Milk powder is not sterile, and there have been a few rare cases of bacteria in the powder causing babies to be ill, in some cases fatal. Hence the new guidelines to be as safe as possible, although many people did it the old way without any problems. Most powder is fine, but the guidelines cover any eventuality (and cover the manufacturers' backs, it has to be said).

Well done on expressing and perservering and also on working out the mw advice is useless. I am a firm believer that breast is not always best. If it works for you and your baby, then fabulous but if it does not, it isn't. My baby drpped from 25th percentile to off the chart within 6weeks as I was not producing enough milk. I refused to give formula as my hv was insistent I should not give formula despite ds dropping weight. At the 6 week check my gp referred ds to see for an emergency appt with a peaditrician who immediately recommended topping up each feed with formula. My DP and I received our first smile within hours. The moral of the story is trust your instinct and ignore advice you know to be useless. A happy mummmy makes for a happy baby.

BTW, massive congratulations on your new baby.

Have you got lanisoh for your nipples? That can really help.

You don't have to wait for it to cool, stick in a jug in the sink and turn the cold tap on it.

Maybe post in breast feeding for some support and advice about the painful nipples.

Congratulations on your new baby.

Nipple confusion?

What is that ?

perplexed

Ok, I'm going to continue this in the BF/FF section for more advice thanks you all so much
PFB is currently snuggled up on my chest after having an oz of expressed milk as soon as she woke up, bliss im so glad I decided to come on MN and express whilst she was sleeping!

jumping apparent some babies get confused between nipples/teats/dummy's/ etc due to different sucking actions. The midwife tried to say that my nipple trauma was because I had introduced bottles and I had messed up her latch but the only reason we were using bottles was because of the trauma, IYKWIM

Sparkles I've done both. People will guilt you without knowing about your own options, ignore, ignore, ignore. You do what you feel comfortable with.
With dd twins, bottle fed from ten days, we used to make up 24 bottles in advance. Not with powder, just water, ready to be warmed and mixed.
I really hope you have a better day today.

Try not to let them make you feel guilty op. you are doing your best and formula feeding will not harm your baby. Seeing the breast feeding councillor may help but if it doesn't and you decide to formula feed your baby will do just fine. I also made up about six bottles at a time and stored at the back of the fridge. I also bought the small ready made cartons for when it all was going a bit pear shaped or if I was going out.

I don't know which pump you use but I could never get on with the hand pump . the electric one was great though, although they are expensive I think some places hire them out?

I am currently just using a hand pump but if we end up persevering with expressing I will get an electric one. I'm finding it simple to use but time consuming and hard work! But it is so much nicer to give her my milk when I can I miss the closeness of BF already so trying to have as many snuggles as possible!

Yes the hand pumps do seem to take ages. I borrowed an electric one for a few months last time and it's at the top of my list of things to buy this time just incase.

Good luck, and try not to feel guilty. I really regret the time I spent feeling guilty about FF my twins.

Every night we made up bottles for the next 24 hours, then used them when we needed them. We kept cartons for 'surprise' feeds and trips out.

At night we put the night feeds in a cool box with ice packs, and took that and a big flask of hot water to bed - so for night feeds we didn't have to leave the room and it was all there ready. It was possible to go from fast asleep to bottle in baby's mouth in less than a minute.

My HV told us we shouldn't make them up in advance, but a much more experienced midwife told us we'd go potty if we didn't.

Good luck