... and it turns out to be a cunningly baguette-shaped batch loaf (joined along the long side wft?), obviously cooked with something to soften the loaf as it's not at all crunchy on the outside, but soft and flaccid, like a milk loaf. Inside you haven't got the fluffy texture and distinctive baguette taste, but something more like a sweetish bathroom sponge.
Is this what the UK considers to be a baguette? I haven't bought one from Tesco for ages (usually go to co-op where their baguettes are passable, or Waitrose if I'm feeling spendy). WTF? Is all Tesco food this shit??? Why deface the staple produce that is the baguette by making it so multidimensionally crap?
Rant over. Yes, it's a first world problem.