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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how I can stop those door to door charity people from ringing my door bell?

68 replies

Ginshizz · 27/08/2012 18:02

You know those people who come round and try to get you to sign up for a monthly direct debit? They are seriously pissing me off. Now don't get me wrong, I give to charity, I donate clothes etc, I have three direct debits set up to charities (managed to set these up all by myself) and before I had DD, I volunteered too.

But I am sick of how many charity door to door people have been harassing me! For example, over the past week alone, I have had three of the buggers on my doorstep:

One was collecting for the dogs trust but asked if I could put my very quiet, gentle Labrador on a lead while he tried to convince me to sign up as he was scared of dogs. Seriously.

One refused to go when I said I was in the middle of feeding my baby so could he go away. He even offered to take over feeding her while I read his marketing material. This creeeeeeeeped me out hugely.

One (today) rang the bell three times and knocked twice, waking my baby up after it had taken me ages to get her to go to sleep. I opened the door, told her what she'd done and asked her to leave. She responded by saying "before I do, could I talk to you about ..."

I have a piece of paper by my door bell saying I do not sign up to door to door charity marketing so could they please not call. They take no notice.

The reason I answered my door to these fuckers people when they do call is that the keeeeeeeep ringing driving me, my DD and my dog mad. I tried disconnecting the bell, they just knock and knock and knock.

What do I need to do to get them to stop?

At what point will actual physical violence get them to take my address off the register?

Is there a trade body I can report them to? But more importantly, can I actually set a bear trap on the way to my door? Or throw kitchen knives at them from the top floor?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Ranting over. Time for gin ...

OP posts:
GnocchiNineDoors · 27/08/2012 18:37

Put a sign on the door "unless you know my whole name, fuck the fuck off"

GhostShip · 27/08/2012 19:17

A load of British Heart Foundation ones literally discended upon our street last night, like a swat team. We were cornered from all angles.

We locked the door andshut the curtains.

R2PeePoo · 27/08/2012 19:33

Big smile and in a calm, sweet voice say 'I'm terribly sorry but I'm a really horrible person and I really don't care about X '

Shut door.

nocake · 27/08/2012 19:40

DW had someone from an animal charity a the door a few weeks ago. "Do you like animals?" he asked.

DW replied "Yes, they're delicious".

IShallWearMidnight · 27/08/2012 19:47

when I told the RSPCA bloke last week I don't sign up for things at the door, he asked me "have you ever tried it?" He got a Confused look as I shut the door on him. WFT?

Dawndonna · 27/08/2012 19:49

Nocake that's bloody genius!
Grin

OhLimpPricks · 27/08/2012 19:55

I just say 'do you have an appointment?' when they say no, that's when I reply, 'sorry we're fully booked till next June' as I close the door. They are never quick enough to reply.....

Ginshizz · 27/08/2012 20:17

Oh I am almost spitting my gin out I am laughing so hard! These are all excellent!

gnocchi I think the "fuck the fuck off" sign might be going up in the morning!

OP posts:
hiddenhome · 27/08/2012 21:17

Answer the door wearing an apron (which is covered in blood), a face mask, some big gloves and holding an axe Grin

WaitingForMe · 27/08/2012 21:29

I got to use "No is a complete sentence" for the first time the other day Grin

Sales guy looked a bit bewildered and didn't know what to say thus providing me the chance to say goodbye and close the door on him.

OhLimpPricks · 27/08/2012 21:40

'me, no English, me cleaner/au pair' said over and over again is quite effective too.

hiddenhome · 27/08/2012 21:42

Learn a phrase in Russian and just keep repeating it. The chances of them actually being able to understand it will be minimal, so just keep jabbering away then close the door.

TheMonster · 27/08/2012 21:45

The crazy dogs hurling themselves at the front door works for me.

ravenAK · 27/08/2012 21:50

'I am never, ever, ever going to buy anything or sign up to anything that uses cold callers. On principle. Never have & never will. You can fuck off immediately, or you can waste time doing your spiel & then I will close the door in your face & you will have lost time you could've spent annoying the bloke next door. Up to you, really.'

CommaChameleon · 27/08/2012 21:51

When I worked as admin for an estate agent I used to take home some appointment cards for our mortgage consultant.

Whenever anyone came to our door for anything, to sell stuff, to sign me up for charity, to canvas for political parties or promote a religion my stock answer was "well...we are not interested in doing that but can I ask you if you own your own home? Because X here has access to many competitive mortgage rates and could save you money on your existing mortgage or get you onto the property ladder for the first time. I see this is a good time for you to meet people so let me get you booked in to see her at this time tomorrow..."

By the end of that they were usually off down the street at quite a swift pace. I took extra pleasure in shouting "So don't you want to save money?" after the home energy sales people as this is something they all say when you tell them you are happy with your existing supplier.

Rubirosa · 27/08/2012 21:51

If you have a gate put a sign on it saying "beware, dogs running loose - enter at own risk".

PeppermintCreams · 27/08/2012 21:53

I say, "sorry, but no!" and shut the door quickly. Grin

superwhizzynewlaptop · 27/08/2012 21:55

I have noticed my neighbour opens the door, assesses caller is not expected/delivery, smiles, then shuts the door. I am going to do this next time.

Mellower · 27/08/2012 21:56

Big smile

"sorry no bank account I am bankrupt"

"shut door"

Smile I actually had the last one in for tea WTF? Cancelled the DD before it came on/off! I put money in boxes.

superwhizzynewlaptop · 27/08/2012 21:56

Although I think I will try the "I'm sorry but I'm a really horrible person..." one next time just to see their face Grin

ravenAK · 27/08/2012 21:57

Actually, dh does a nice line in chasinng them down the path brandishing Buddhist tracts &/or his band's CDs. & I've found saying 'I don't live here! I'm just burgling the place!' can work.

Depends whether you're prioritising restoring the peace & quiet, or are bored enough to amuse yourself at their expense, but nothing wrong with just slamming the door.

NovackNGood · 27/08/2012 21:59

DIY shops need to make a NO CHUGGERS SIGN for everyone to put on the gate and for a wikipedia article to name and shame any charity that uses chuggers and everyone to stop giving to these charities until they state they will no longer use chuggers.

CommaChameleon · 27/08/2012 21:59

And once two male RSPCA collectors used "I can hear you have a dog so obviously you would want to help animals...by the way, can your dog get out?"

TO which I replied "well, yes she can but don't worry, she's very small and she hardly ever bites anybody, and usually it's just men she doesn't recognise...oh like you!"

They were out the gate by that point.

Oddly enough, those same men then came to my parents house and I answered the door and turned them away, then came to my friends house and I answered her door (friend is disabled and her husband was out so it was easier for me to go). By then I was able to say "I've already told you twice, I'm not interested" and they went away clearly wondering just how many houses I lived in. None were in the same area and I think they thought I was some sort of auditor keeping an eye on them or something and being placed in random houses.

Ginshizz · 27/08/2012 22:01
Grin

Thank you for all your fab ideas!

I think I will combine:

The 'beware of dog' sign

The 'fuck the fuck off' sign

The electrified door handle

The apron covered in blood (me) and the nudist option (DH)

Telling them I am, essentially, a bitch with no interest in altruism

Teaching my soft as anything Labrador to snarl

Throwing kitchen knives after them

The other option might be to put up a sign saying 'sleeping baby inside; if you wake her, you are legally responsible for putting her back to sleep and all I can say is GOOD LUCK WITH THAT'

OP posts:
Ginshizz · 27/08/2012 22:04

I also love the idea of trying to sell them something, maybe i should collect some religious literature as I think that could be a go-er

And hanging out at more than one house sounds great, that will really freak them out!

OP posts:
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