to hope my neighbour on holiday is a mumsnetter

[noseynoonoo]

Am on holiday in south west France on a campsite. One of our neighbours has been listening to the Harry Potter audio book for the last 7 nights until about 2.30am every night - so it is me, my husband and Stephen F***g Fry every night.

So, having just bought an extra box of matches with which to keep our eyes open, may I ask, if you are the person responsible for my unexpected, and frankly asexual, menage a trois, could you turn it off or use headphones.

Thank you, if indeed you are my neighbour...

You'd be surprised how many parents have never heard of Mumsnet you know

And then there are those who have heard of it but choose not to use it

Why don't you just politely have a word with them...suggest they use headphones?

This is why I don't go camping. That, and the fact that it's shite.

Can't you just go round and tell them to turn it down?? Makes things a little easier.

Start commenting on it - sound carries so far at night so they probably won't even know it's you. Just add suitable interjections every so often Or shout out the ending - which one is it? have you read it, if not I'll tell you what happens

I agree with shouting out the ending. In fact get the book and read along out loud.

Yes- shout out the ending (or just make random stuff up and shout that "it was the dementors" "expelliarmus" etc.). I reckon they'll get the message.

That would drive me insane. I would definitely be shouting out random bits of the story.

How incredibly rude of the woman.

Or you could do impersonations of Stephen Fry going 'Mmmmmm' and 'That's quite interesting' and 'I say!' In fact, get really pissed and definitely do it.

How about retaliating with an audio copy of the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy

And then some ear protectors, so you don't actually have to listen to it...

I'd definitely have a word - camping is ace & shouldn't be spoilt like that. I reckon they don't realise either as most campers aren't that rude (at least those I've come across in the UK!).

I do love the idea of an audio of Fifty Shades though

Does Stephen Fry read the 50 shades one too?

I would also like to state that camping is the dog's bollocks!

I think you should just tell her OP.

"Do you realise that we are sharing every minute of your audio book of Harry Potter read by Stephen Fry? Any chance you could use a set of earphones?"

Smile pleasantly.

I realise that talking to them is the solution. However I cannot be sure where it is coming from. I thought it was a particular family and mentioned it but they denied all knowledge. Last night I was out in my nightwear trying to work out where it came from. Haven't seen that family but dh is going to go a-knocking tonight if Stephen Fry joins us again.

By the way what is the French for ear plugs?

How do you knock on a tent? Is there a protocol?

I don't think there's a protocol as such but when The Von Trapp Family singers in the tent next door were still performing at 1am I politely approached their tent and asked them to keep the noise down as some of us were trying to sleep. There were a few mutterings but they quickly shut up. I would certainly not have put up with it for 7 days though - surely the book must be almost finished by now!

Unless they are doing it to keep you from having sex... :o

And then there are those who have heard of it but choose not to use it

Those people are weirdos :o

'tis a shame you can't slam a tent flap in a huff. I like the fifty shades idea. Or lady chatterly's lover.

I've 'knocked' on a tent before. I stood at the front and said 'knock knock'.

Felt like a right twat.

If you don't know where it's coming from, I'd stand outside your tent and shout 'turn that Harry Potter off, it's bloody 2am!' If they do it again tonight. Anyone near enough to hear is bound to support you.

Oh, how annoying! I bet they're not regular/seasoned campers, or haven't brought their portable player before... probably be mortified if they realised they were making a unilateral decision about everyone's evening entertainment!!

If you did want to ask for earplugs, ask for "Boules Quiès" - it's a brand name, but like Hoover for us, and should be immediately understood.

Move your tent.
I thought that was the whole point of camping- that when you end up near an annoying tosser you can literally move house

MrsRichards what did you say when they answered, "Who's there?"

Creep up to the tent, just before a scary or exciting bit ... lean really close to the canvas ... yell BOO!... then run like fuck to hide behind another tent before they have chance to work out where you came from.

Never did that to shut up Guides yacking all night telling each other ghost stories and keeping everyone else awake

There's a lot to be said for hotels...