to think I am being ridiculous?

[VickyandAlistair]

I need a good kick up the arse, and mn seems like a good place for that!
I'm in a mope. Basically, in Feb this year, we got the news at work that my team (6 of us in it) was in jeopardy and redundancies looked likely. In April, it was confirmed that the company was going to cut our team in half - 3 staying on, 3 being made redundant. 2 of my colleagues were offered the job outright, 3 more were told that they had to interview for the 3rd job, and I was given a letter telling me I was to be made redundant.

I had all of a week to get my head around that, when I was called into another meeting. I was told that all 5 of my colleagues had opted for redundancy. Therefore I was automatically given a role, and will be being joined by 2 other girls who I know pretty well in Dec.

So, good news right?.. But I just can't seem to shake myself off. My colleagues are some of my favourite people. They have been a second family. We've worked together, the 6 of us, for 10 years. They have been through everything with me - meeting dh, getting married, being pg, having my son. They were my first visitors to my home after family and close friends after I had my son. They helped me through my PND after. They are some of my best friends. I never realised how much I depend on them, until now when I face losing them. And not one at a time, all at once.

dh is annoyed with me. Says I need to see it as a lucky break, an opportunity. He never believes that you should get too attached to colleagues precisely for this reason. I know we'll stay in touch, but its not going to be the same.

AIBU? Should I give myself a stern talking to and get on with things? I actually cried about this last night. Please tell me things are going to be ok, and I'll cope perfectly well without them.

It sounds really confusing emotionally. A mix of rejection, potential financial worries, then seperation from the pack, all in the context of real friendships. Don't kick yourself, think about what you need to help you through this. And maybe think about what you want, if you can't work with that group of colleagues, do you still want to work for the company (especially if they rejected you then gave you the job as the only one left?)? Does this scenario provide you with an opportunity to try something else?

I've been thinking that it might be my chance to work my way up the ladder a bit, i.e distract myself as much as I can. I work for a very large and well known financial company, and redundancies are par for the course here. Tbh, we're all surprised that we've lasted as long as we have. I actually like the company, (although, like all massive companies, it can be quite cut throat) thanks for your thoughts :)

Are all six of your jobs the same? If so, they can't just offer 3 jobs outright and ask two others to apply, leaving the sixth automatically redundant. It doesn't work like that. From that, it sounds like the company is a bit odd/dodgy.

If you like the job and can deal with all that, working without your colleagues should be fine.

But what also doesn't make sense is that all 5 were given redundancy, when their jobs were being filled by new people. That isn't redundancy. All very odd.

I'm just thinking surely it doesn't need to be the end of your friendships? Just because you will no longer be colleagues, doesn't mean you won't ever meet up, visit, have coffee, talk on the phone, email, etc? I hope you manage to keep in touch, they sound like good friends. Good luck, hope it all turns out well for you.

It is odd Loopy I agree. They did it on a stack ranked thing, as per our work performance for 2011. I came out bottom, mainly because I was trying to deal with a non sleeping baby all year! The 2 colleagues who were offered the job had apparently already advised the company that if it came to it, they would rather have redundancy than a job. I think the company was just trying their luck.

I hope we do stay in touch Nyx. Like I said, I know I'm being silly. I just don't do very well with change. Never have. I'm a creature of habit!

I work in a very close team too. we have just lost two posts due to re-organisation, both got new posts in different teams.
I don't think people understand the effect this has on teams who work very closely together and share friendships as well as are colleagues.
My closed colleague was one of those who moved and I am devastated, but friends have said , never mind you kept your job...well yes I did but that doesn't get rid of all the upset. If it help my OH doesn't get it either!!

Friday, my dh is a firm believer in keeping work and personal relationships seperate, but I don't agree. You spend hours and hours a week with the same people, its hard not to become close to them.

totally agree. working in stressful situations you learn to rely on them as people as well as colleagues. It's also hard not to be friends with people you like!!
With time I guess the hurt wiil fade but don't be afraid to feel what you do, maybe just choose who you discuss it with!! have given up with OH as he 'doesn't do feelings'!!