Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not have a clue how to help harder Father

4 replies

KnickerKnockers · 27/08/2012 08:30

My Parents are retired. DF is a hoader and two spare bedrooms piled to the rafters, house is not pleasant everything is choke bloka often piled dangerously. loft gardens and shed full and he has taken on an allotment which my mum says people are bow complaining about because he cat keep on top of it. In the past I he tried to talk about it, have cleared the shed out only for him to refuse to get rid or sell anything (he had four very expensive drills for example yet never does a bit of DIY) and once the rubbish had been skipped at his reluctance get just re piled the shed up. DH took timeoff to.do up their disgusting bathroom as a favour they just paid for the tiles, paint etc. as they had taken to only being able to shower at the swimming pool... within months it was back to same situation piled with half empty bottles, products, towels clothes airers etc. they now only shower at the gtm where they go swimming. My sister moved tl Wales and will become estranged eventually as they won't clear the bedrooms for her and kids to stay on their visits

OP posts:
JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 27/08/2012 08:34

Does your mother accept living like this? can she not keep a bathroom clean and tidy rather than go to the gym showers?

Some people like living in squallor hoarding, it's very much the war mentality where everything will become useful one day, so you can't throw it away.

WelshMaenad · 27/08/2012 08:37

How does your mum cope with it all?

It's a tricky one because compulsive hoarding is an obsessive compulsive trait and whilst help is available, your dad has to want it, because as a compos mentis adult, treatment can't be forced upon them.

PignutSalamander · 27/08/2012 11:52

I also have a family member with this problem, he also had ms and needs carers but they won't come to his house as it is a health hazard!

Various family members are seriously considering ploughing in and doing it whether he likes it or not but tbh I'm scared the shock might kill him.

Will be watching with interest.

dysfunctionalme · 27/08/2012 12:37

Oh I think you need really good professional help because hoarders find it deeply distressing to have their possessions messed with. What you may consider helpful may very well upset him horribly. Your poor mother living in it all. It's a mental health condition, sorry I don't know where to point you but can only suggest googling.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread