To stop my DCs from playing outside?

[wishiwassingle]

My DCs behaviour has reached the point where I do not know what to do anymore. I am tired of other parents on our street knocking at our door to complain about one or other of them, usually from the eldest bad language and from the youngest breaking their toys. It seems like all the other children have been warned to stay away from my DCs, so we are now the street lepars.
Appears only DD can actually be trusted to behave in public.
Before anyone jumps on me, I am in no way whatsoever condoning my DCs behaviour, I am in fact appalled and ashamed as I certainly never brought them up to act like this.
Anyway, today was the last straw and I have told all of them that, until they can begin to show better behaviour they will not be allowed out to play. There has been a day filled with anger tears and sulking.
I really can't see that I have any other option though. I have an image of the whole street advancing on our house like a baying mob. I also need time to work out what I am going to do about this. I need some kind of intensive parenting course that will help me with discipline issues as this cannot continue.
Feel sad, crap as a parent and have no idea where to go for advice.
AIBU?

Yanbu

They should have been dealt with after first incident. What did you do?

What punishment have you used up to now?

Although it is very hard on you, you do need to ground them if their behaviour is so bad that parents have complained.

When you do let them out again you need to have explained what is and is nt acceptable behaviour and what the punishment will be if they break the rules

Do you have support as a parent?

I don't know how old your children are, but if their bad language and vandalism (which is what deliberately breaking others toys is) has alienated them from the neighbouring children then you need to clamp down on them now.

Why didn't you rein them in with the first parental complaint? If they are behaving so badly that you have had complaints then the 'I didn't bring them up like that' washes a bit thin.. they sound feral:(

Keep them in (it's only one more week) and take control. No IS a complete sentence as a parent, and it is worth being hated for a week (by your children) in order for them to realise that you ARE the boss. It can be done:)

Hard to give much advice here, but you need to set boundaries and be consistent with expectations and consequences. Also, building really positive relationships with them to underline it all. Parenting books or parenting course (and I've done both), might be a start. Courses can be supportive and friendly. Good luck.

After any incident they are grounded and we have had the this-is-what-we-expect-of-you talk has been done to death. It just seems to all fall on deaf ears. you would think by now that they would be fed up of missing out on playing outside on the park when all the other children are. Apparantly, not, as they do not seem to be taking in what I am saying to them.
Unfortunately, when I remove them from the park DD has to also come into the house as I cannot leave her there on her own, so she also suffers.
And NO I do not have any other support....it's all down to me I'm afraid.
I really, really am at the end of my tether with this.

How old are your DC?

What happens when they're not allowed out? Do they get to play with XBox/ DS etc?

They are 11, 6 and 5.
When they are grounded they are not allowed to play with their favourite toys and have to lose any TV.

How long do they play out for at any one time?

ds is only 8 and so far no major problems, but I am dreading the rebellious years and have no idea how I will handle them.

remember my own rebellion (30 years ago ) and my dad constantly grounding and lecturing me and wishing he would just talk to me and try to understand me - I felt as if he'd never admit to being young/made mistakes/had all these confusing emotions. He was never good at listening so I stopped listening to him, just sat through the lectures and went out and repeated my behaviour. (very tough teenage years with him but I love my dad to bits and dont blame him, he parented 5 kids the way his dad parented him - his way or no way).

so I know I don't want to handle them like my dad did. ds responds well (so far!) to postive encouragement/having me on his side. I'm also trying my best to listen/encourage ds to talk now so we are setup for when the storm hits.

You never brought them up like this, then why are they behaving like this? Can they tell you? Are they copying/struggling to deal with their peers who are behaving like this, but are just the unlucky ones that get caught?

6 and 5 is too young anyway. Get them all in, the 6 year old is learning from your 11 year old who must be picking the language up at school.

11 is too old to be playing with the little ones anyway. The lines have become blurred.