Re takeaway?

[moonface73]

Friends and their kids coming over this evening for a play, crisps, movies etc dh suggested they come a bit earlier and we all have takeaway for tea. Is ok to expect each family to pay for own takeaway or would you expect to be paid for?

No, if they are coming to your house and it hasn't previously been arranged they YABU as they might feel pushed into it and be skint.

It's the same as inviting someone for dinner but asking them to bring their own food

So long as they know its pay for yourself.

Have been caught before, invited to "dinner" only to find it's actually a takeaway and been short of cash.

I would expect to pay if you said 'How about we all chip in and get a takeaway'. I would not expect to pay if you said 'Would you like to come early and we'll get a take away'. Just how it works in our circle of friends.

If I was asked over for a takeaway I would kinda think they were offering.

But if I invited people over and ordered from my house I would pay and not even mention money to the people coming over.

I think as long as they know in advance it's fine. You say "how about you all come over and we all get a big takeaway to share?"

Fair dos

You should be prepared to pay.

If the takeaway is a surprise to them when they arrive, do not expect them to chip in. If they offer to pay their share, accept the offer.

It's your DH's idea and they might not agree to pay for a family takeaway but will keep that thought to themselves. If I invite people rounf here, I do not expect them to pay. If they bring a contribution (bottle of wine, packet of biscuits or some such), that would be enough for me.

It was def said like old slag put it. Maybe should just pay unless they offer to chip in? Everything is normally shared with us all.

I think it's fine to have a takeaway that everyone chips in for as long as people know in advance, as pointed out above. There's nothing wrong in having friends round and all chipping in.

It IS tricky if they don't know and/or can't afford it. If they have prior notice, I don't see the problem. We often find it much cheaper to chip into a big Chinese banquet than buy a takeaway just for me and DH.

Tbh I would be a bit upset if the idea was sprung on me and then I was expected to pay. They might not have the money, or want to spend it, but will be feeling pressured into doing it anyway.

I really think, your idea, your house= you pay.

Morally, I disagree. We often eat this way in our family. We all get together in one house and chip in around £6 for a big feast. everybody knows in advance it's a group thing, and the host is only hosting because they have the most chairs/ biggest table and we all want to get together.

However, if someone invited me for a dinner party, then got the food from a takeaway and asked me for my share of the cost, that would be different.

Yes but it's so awkward to be asked round for something, then the plans increase and you don't feel you can say no then as you agreed to the original plan.

I think if you word it at the beginning that 'we could all get Chinese' etc that's fine. But to suddenly say, 'let's all get Chinese' just before they come doesn't really give them much room to say no.

Agreed morally. It's amazing how many couples are skint but good at hiding it and this could really upset the applecart unless agreed in advance.

(voice of experience after being part of a couple that was skint but good at hiding it from people)

You invite, you pay.

Then when someone else invites you, they pay.

It's stingy to invite someone to something and then ask them to cough up.

TBH i would expect them to chip in but let them know in advance.

you can provide drinks and desert etc.

maybe it is more arkward because it started out as something else like an invite to dinner.

If you're invited round "for takeaway" then generally speaking everyone chips in.

If you've invited people "for supper/dinner" and then order takeaway, the host pays

If I.go anywhere and know in advance its a takeaway, id expect to pay for my own. If I turned up and it was sprung on me then id hope I had cash on me (use card.for everything).

However with regular friends I would just get all the take aways in my house and say "ah, you get them next time" of they offered to chip.in.

Gnocchi- that sounds like a good system to me.

I think it's fine to invite people and to let them pay IF it's clearly communicated i.e "Why don't we all come over to mine and all chip in for a big takeaway?"

Canoe- I don't agree that if it's your premises you pay, but I do agree that if people are chipping in, they need notice.

Well it all turned out fine! Cos it was suggested in advance (it was never going to be a meal anyway) everyone ordered what they wanted, we did pudding and drinks. Now the kids are playing and everyone has beer and all is good!

Ithink it was communicated like slag says, as in, shall we all chip in for a takeaway at mine?

Result! Don't tell me what you ordered because I am starving

I won't but it was flippin lovely! Have had a run of holiday style eating days tho, back down with a bump next week I think!