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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be cross about weightwatchers fromage frais

70 replies

missvague · 26/08/2012 08:58

We are staying at my MILs for the weekend with our 9 month old DS. Yesterday we went to a friends wedding and MIL plus SIL and BIL minded DS for us, which I'm grateful for. DS is going through a fussy stage with food, refusing spoon and wanting to self feed at times, which is fine, I'm giving him lots of finger food choices etc.

When we arrived at MILs we chatted about this, and I said I'll go to tesco 1st thing tomorrow to get food for him. I mentioned that yoghurt seems to be the one thing he still loves being spoonfed. She said, I have some fromage frais in the fridge, and I said that I'd rather he had full fat natural yoghurt as ff is too sweet, and that I would get some of the same one we have at home.

So we got in last night and she tells me he didn't want the yoghurt, so she gave him 2 weightwatchers fruit layered fromage frais. It's virtually fat free - no good for him; it's full of artificial sweeteners - no good for him; will encourage a taste for sweet things - no good for him (at his age); and teach him that being fussy means something else will be offered - err, no good for him.

I could get over all this as a one off, but am I being unreasonable to be annoyed, given that I expressly said not to give him them? (and trawled to horrible Saturday morning tesco to buy one that is good for him!)

OP posts:

Adviceinscotland · 26/08/2012 09:21

Reminds me off the time years ago my gran was watching a distant 18m.o

She had never met the child but the parents would have missed a friends wedding had she not offered her time.

Pfb child was not allowed anything but organic foods (no organic food stuff had passed her mouth in 18 months)

My gran who did not really have any idea of what organic was fed the child 2 packets of wotsits over the course of the day thinking they must be healthy as it says on the pack they are cheesy and baked not fried

The mum burst into tears when she picked the child up and has not spoken to my gran since no great loss

tethersend · 26/08/2012 09:21

And WW fromage fraud taste like shite, so I wouldn't worry about him wanting any more.

shesariver · 26/08/2012 09:23

Seriously Op, Im glad you can see now youve over reacted. I actually didnt think people like you existed - is he your first by any chance?

BatCave · 26/08/2012 09:29

I get why it's annoying, OP, with yoghurts I feel the same and only give DD natural yoghurt. But every time she stays at my mums or MILs they give her these peppa pig fromage frais packed full of sugar which she loves. I ask them not to but they don't listen. same with plenty of other food.

But, it hasn't affected how she eats at home now, she doesn't miss them when they're not here and it's not really an issue now and again. So I think, YANBU but you're gonna have to get over it (in the nicest way possible) because there is more of this to come and it'll drive you insane otherwise!

TroublesomeEx · 26/08/2012 09:39

I wouldn't advise feeding him WW fromage frais on a regular basis for all the reasons you stated, but, once ain't gonna kill 'im.

If it makes you feel any better, my MIL told my DD (6) last night that she should start calling Mummy and Daddy Ma and Pa instead.

Why the fuck would you do that?

gothicangel · 26/08/2012 09:42

OMG get a grip

Its yougart not crack!

Dancergirl · 26/08/2012 09:51

OP, you've had a bit of a bashing on here.

Sorry, but even if you offering free babysitting it doesn't mean you do what you like. I know it's only a small thing but suppose it had been something more significant like an allergy and the MIL didn't stick to what he's allowed to have?

And to anyone who says get a grip, I bet YOU were precious about what your dc ate at the weaning stage. It's all too easy to say lighten up in hindsight. So give the OP a break.

PeazlyPops · 26/08/2012 10:02

YANBU at all! She knew that you didn't want him to have those yogurts, but gave him them anyway, perhaps for an easy life?

I'd be very annoyed that she'd undermined me like that.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 26/08/2012 10:14

Don't tell me you've been giving the poor bugger plain fromage frais ?? Let them eat petit filous I say !

midori1999 · 26/08/2012 10:16

Well, I'd be pissed off about it. Not because I think one or two pots of WW fromage frais is going to kill my child, but because you had already expressed to your MIL that you didn't want your child to have it and she gave it to him anyway. Although she probably did think that he was better with that than nothing.

However, think yourself lucky! I got up on Saturday lunchtime morning after my Mum was kind enough to babysit Friday night and to find a cat shit in the middle of the living room carpet as my Mum had shut the cat out of where her litter tray is and then hadn't noticed said shit. Luckily (very!!!) it seemed neither child had noticed it either, or things could have been much, much worse....

differentnameforthis · 26/08/2012 10:21

So you left a fussy eater with your MIL, with none of the food he actually likes & object that they fed him something which he ate?

darthsillius · 26/08/2012 10:26

It's ridiculous saying it will encourage a sweet tooth. Formula and breast milk are incredibly sweet!

Original poster

missvague · 26/08/2012 10:35

Err no, I left him with lots of food he likes feeding himself with, and yoghurt which I mentioned in the OP that he loves. He's never refused it before, we normally have to stop feeding it because he'd carry on til he pops.

Thanks for the replies. On balance I think IABU to let it annoy me, it's not a big deal. But I still would prefer she didn't do the opposite of what I ask.

OP posts:

Tee2072 · 26/08/2012 10:39

Well, no different, she left the yoghurt the child usually eats. Did you actually read the OP?

minikimmi · 26/08/2012 10:40

Bet you wouldn't be as pissed off if it was your own mum and not your other half's

Tangointhenight · 26/08/2012 10:41

I've asked my mum to stop telling me I'd she has done something against what I've asked lol, not worth it grannies sometimes like to do their own thing an I don't look a gift horse in the mouth :o

Tangointhenight · 26/08/2012 10:42

*if not I'd

Pastabee · 26/08/2012 10:46

I don't think it matters if they eat different things at GPs within reason and WW fromage frais is within reason as far as I'm concerned.

If your DS likes fromage frais get the Plum ones for home as they don't have any added sugar but the fruit purée makes them taste nice.

EarnestDullard · 26/08/2012 10:47

It always feels like a big deal the first time something like that happens. Unfortunately though, when you leave your DCs in the care of someone else, you have to accept that they might not do everything exactly as you would do yourself. If you want to control every single aspect of your child's diet and upbringing then you need to look after them yourself all the time :)

In the grand scheme of things, a couple of fat free yogurts isn't a big deal. My MIL (she's lovely, really) was "spoiling" DD with ice cream and chocolate buttons at 6mo. Not huge amounts, so I let it go for the sake of an easy life.

CailinDana · 26/08/2012 10:48

Miss- to make life easier for yourself you have to accept that when someone else is looking after your child they're not going to do things exactly your way. You have to pick your battles, very carefully. The person babysitting is doing you a favour and if you start being controlling about inconsequential things they will see it (rightly) as a slight on their abilities and will start to wonder why they bother. If you don't trust the babysitter to care for your child properly then don't ask them to do it, simple as.

The things I'm strict on are: no shouting or smacking. That's it. Family and friends who babysit my DS are aware of that and abide by it. Beyond that I trust them to make their own decisions about food/places to go/sleep. It means I actually enjoy my time away and don't worry about unimportant things.

SigmundFraude · 26/08/2012 10:48

Oh dear. You're in for a lifetime of disappointment. Make sure you have support on hand when he's given an Easter egg.

CailinDana · 26/08/2012 10:49

X post with Earnest- I didn't just copy your post Earnest, honest!

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 26/08/2012 10:55

miss welcome to the world of parenthood.
I suspect we've all been through a similar experience. I remember my eldest BIL thinking it was amusing to give my then 11 mnth old DS1 sips out of his glass of orangeade and having to bite my tongue in the name of family harmony. I figured in the context of his overall diet the odd bit of crap food won't hurt.

Emmielu · 26/08/2012 10:56

Maybe next time your MIL shouldn't feed him.

MainlyMaynie · 26/08/2012 10:58

Bless . I think after he's been eating for a few more months you'll be relaxed about it. I was panicky about salt and added sugar until DS was one, but I have relaxed about it a lot now. DS likes to try what I have, so he'll demand to have some of my (fat-free, sugar-free) yoghurt, even when he has his own fromage frais there. He's massive and he still loves broccoli and green beans too, so I don't think it does him much harm.

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