To be cross with SIL about this?

[NickNacks]

She asked a few weeks ago if she could take the dc out for the day. Nothing overly planned, walk around our tourist town, McDonald's for lunch and then home for some crafts etc. I said she could, I'm sure they'd love it. I usually leave telling them to the last minute in case plans change but when they woke up this morning I told them where they were going.

Then half way through breakfast an hour before I was due to drop them off, she texts to say really sorry but could she just have dc 1 and 2 as it was raining and she finds it hard to keep them all dry and get about town.

Cue an inconsolable dc3 and I'm really cross that she's let them down.

Would you be cross or AIBU?

YANBU that's ridiculous.

I would have told her to rearrange it for another day

After I pointed out that children don't dissolve in the rain....

How can it be more difficult to keep 3 children dry then 2??

i wouldnt let two go without the other!

Sounds really annoying. I guess she has no kids or she wouldn't have dreamt to suggest this. Propose change of plan that they go for a wet walk in the park and change clothes afterwards, make hot chocolate and do crafts. How old are the dc?

You're right she has no children of her own. They are 8 6 and 2 but u should point out dc3 is an excellent walker (we walk for miles every day and she doesn't complain) so not an issue and SIL knows this. I could have provided a pushchair and rain cover should she have preferred but she said she'd rather just have 2 at a time.

Well it will be the last time as far as I'm concerned. DH also said the 'kids don't melt on the rain' to her but she didn't seem to get the joke!

I can remember my aunt taking my sister on hoilday and not me I was gutted I was about 8 and sister was 11, it still pisses me off now when I think about I'm 37 :) it isn't fair and I wouldn't let her have just two of them.

A 2 year old is a lot harder than two bigger kids, I think you are being harsh. And at 2, they should have got over it in about 5 mins, unless you fuelled their sadness.
They don't have to go everywhere as a set. Yes it was unfair to promise one thing and then change it, but I don't think its as bad as all this fuss.

is it that big a deal for the 2 year old? I can see why she'd rather have the older two, and it seems a bit much that they don't get a day with an aunt because a toddler does make things harder.

I would just arrange for her to have the 2 year old another time as a special treat - not for the whole day just some one to one time.

I'd have dropped off the older two and let the 2 year old choose a new toy from the pound shop, and provide with sweets and favourite cartoons.

The toddler would have forgotten about it by the time you'd red her a good story. Seems silly you have forced disappointment on the other two almost cutting off the nosed to spite the face so to speak.

add an a

Maybe you all have really dim 2 year olds, but DD2 is 2 and would not forget a disappointment like that in minutes.

Inviting all 3 and then disinviting the youngest at the last minute was mean, and I can't believe you let it happen.

I'm all for siblings doing their own thing, but this was something else and very, very unfair.

ooo handbags calling everyone else's children dim because they are not tediously needy if they don't get their own way.

Yeah I have a really thicko toddler. Its not that I distract them and don't let them wallow in it at all.
Your genius yet uber-sad toddler beats all ours. Bravo.

I agree her behaviour and attitude is not great - why didn't she ask to bring them back after lunch and just do half a day with all of them

:o

Bullshit, a normal 2 year old should be bright enough to understand that being left out at the last minute is a shitty deal.

Which it is.

No amount of distraction or bribery will change that.

So they'll still know that they were deliberately left out and be hurt by that.

Because they are people, with feelings.

Not just moronic whinge bags that can be bought off with toys and asinine parental "distraction".

Depends on how old the 2 yo is - at 25 months, my DD wouldn't have had a clue and would have forgotten in minutes. Now at 34 months she suddenly asks about things that happened 6 months ago. This type of thing would have bothered her all day if had happened to her in the last few months - upset but not "tediously needy".

Erm massive assumptions made here! I didn't fuel her disappointment at all but she did have to be told she was no longer going and then come with me to drop them off so understandably got upset twice.

The main issue was the last minute change of heart for what seemed to me a really feeble reason.

Instead DH and i took her out got the day and had a lovely time. :)

She didn't Tantrum or anything because she didn't get her own way but was crying and that upset me. I won't allow her to do that to my children and the older two were also sad she was no longer going but did have a good day of course. I will just say no next time to the offer because its not fair.

My two year old is bright enough to know they're better off with me than out with the others. Shame yours is so upset to be left with you, AThing.
And that your parental distraction techniques are asinine. Maybe you need to try harder?

NickNacks I actually went back and reread your original posts because I couldn't see where those assumptions came from.

I think it would be shame to stop these sort of days out with SIL but I would certainly be managing them IYSWIM.

I think you forget it's hard work with 3 dc when you're not used to it - I'd be frightened of having someone else 2 year old for the day now that my dc are older because I've just forgotten what it's like. Perhaps the reality of what she'd offered dawned on her?