Free to a good home sign

[anairofhope]

AIBU to write a sign in crayon "Little Boy free to good home" for my three yo and make him stand out side the from door?

He doesnt listen to me has painted himself red and run around shouting im spidarman, put my pink miniymouse haedband on and jumped up and down on my bed, has tought the baby to stick her toung out and blow rasberries and will not put his clothes on and is currently wiggling his bum at his sister.

Im sure if i did make him hold the sign the teenager from next door would laugh and take him in but im worried she might bring him back!

Nothing to apologise for! Shit happens, life moves on. Now back to marketing my son

I'll swap for a 12wk old? Your DS can entertain my DD1 (2) ehile i clean drink she likes raspberries and bums.

I'll entertain your two year old Softly! It's babies and 8 year olds who think they're teenagers that baffle me!

Can i offer 21 month old DD on free loan. Im suppsed to be keeping her 'calm' with a fractured wrist but shes a wriggly bundle of energy whos favourite words are 'mine!' and 'naughty mummy'. Can deliver

Dd is a threenager...

Imagine the harry Enfield character Kevin, but smaller and cute. She even says "youre so unfair"!

Cheeky 2 year old DS, available for a loan period. Very cute, blonde hair, blue eyes, perfect for keeping someone busy and distracted, and spending money, returns accepted subject to 48hours notice so i can definitely get a night or two off

Nononononononono

Mothers with teenagers are not allowed to complain, my only hope is they grow out of it, you are dashing my illusions!

Debeez done and with every toddler you get a free 12wk old gift, pm your address

No no no 12 week olds. I am currently TTC my second and I'm hoping it's born really late so comes at about 6 months old. Otherwise I'm scared of their soft bits at the top of their heads, floppy necks, and when they cry like something is wrong for 8 hours then fart and it's all ok and look like a dick for bothering every medical professional within a 15 mile radius.

This all sounds so promising (sarcasm.)
No one told me parenting would be like this

I used to find a rousing game of hide-and-don't-seek useful. Until they caught on.