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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

dp says i was bu for not leaving a tip.

27 replies

mumineedapooooo · 25/08/2012 09:31

we had a meal out lastnight at the local carvery/pub.
we walked in and the waitress dumped the menus on our tables and said 'here you go' before we had even got to the table and sat down and she then walked off, no offer of drinks etc. The place wasnt busy maybe two or three small familys eating.We made our decisions and called her over to order,she left us waiting while she was talking to another waitress at least five minutes.To find then they didnt have any of what we wanted left.so we chose something else.surely she could of told us before giving us the menus?
The food came and was quite nice,except for the dirty cutlery.We then waited and waited for the plates to be cleared whilst she carried on talking to the other waitress and messing about with her phone.
We asked for the bill when she finally came over and dp said put tip in with it or give two notes and let them have the change.My reaction was 'no way!' and he looked at me as if i was really horrible.did they really deserve one?I would give a tip to someone who i thought had gone out of there way to make the night enjoyable.
Why do people actually employ people like this?im sure there are lots of people who would want their jobs.
aibu?

OP posts:
Icelollycraving · 25/08/2012 09:34

I always pay for good service,it didn't sound like you got it so yanbu.

squeakytoy · 25/08/2012 09:35

YANBU. I wouldnt tip if the service was that bad.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 25/08/2012 09:36

Agree with Icelolly. I tip, and well, for good service, but that wasn't good service.

AnitaBlake · 25/08/2012 09:38

No not unreasonable at all, a tip is earned plain and simple. I have declined to leave a tip in the past when I haven't had good service. I'm an ex-waitress and frequently got good tips (ususually doubled my wages) but I never expected a tip from any of my customers.

Any tips were always accepted in the manner they were given, and I would always return change to a table. I tend to tip quite nicely but only if I've received good service!

whois · 25/08/2012 09:39

YANBU - service didn't meet the minimum acceptable standard so no tip. A tip is a reward/incentive to go a good job!

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 25/08/2012 09:40

YANBU. I don't tip when service isn't good, it defeats the object of tipping if you just tip everyone no matter how good or bad they are at their job.

Lonelylou · 25/08/2012 09:41

What's the percentage rate for tips in a restaurant then? I tip but I only tend to leave a couple of quid Blush Am I tight?

perplexedpirate · 25/08/2012 09:42

YANBU. No excuse for sloppy service and it certainly shouldn't be rewarded with a tip. Angry

HecateHarshPants · 25/08/2012 09:44

Nope, you were not unreasonable. I tip when the service deserves it. I wouldn't tip for terrible service.

Although I read about some bloke who went to a restaurant and got terrible service and left an amazing tip. The next time he went in, he got fawned over.

He left a penny for a tip.

They actually asked him about it and he said that the first tip was for this time's service and this tip was for the first time.

I don't know whether it's true or not, but it's funny.

Birdsgottafly · 25/08/2012 09:44

Did you eat off the dirty cutlery?

I would have asked for whoever was in charge and got at least a free desert, or drinks.

YANBU, but i wouldn't have stood for that service.

Original poster
mumineedapooooo · 25/08/2012 09:45

i will be showing this to dp.
i acually had to walk up to them to pay at the till and there was a bowl for tips and a scribbled in pencil crayon note saying 'thank you'.it felt like it was expected of me.
i turned around and walked back to dp and they didnt say thank you or goodbye..they get paid for being there ffs,why should i pay them again for not doing their jobs

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 25/08/2012 09:46

What's the percentage rate for tips in a restaurant then

We tend to leave 20% of the bill, anything from 10% to 30%, is acceptable.

Original poster
mumineedapooooo · 25/08/2012 09:49

no we didnt use the dirty cutlery we picked and mixed with the place settings next to us and gave them a good wipe with the paper napkins

OP posts:
SirBoobAlot · 25/08/2012 09:49

I'm a tight cow, and only tip when its deserved.

If he thought you were being so unreasonable, he could have stuck his hand in his own pocket.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 25/08/2012 09:50

Agree with Birds re percentages, but I was once so delighted with excellent service (it was a local cafe, nowhere posh) that I left 100%!

MrsKeithRichards · 25/08/2012 09:54

I only tip when it's been great service.

We went out last night to Witherspoon type place. Menus already on table, you order own food at bar. You carry your own drinks. I don't tip in these places because you aren't really getting any service. I like them for reasonable food, family friendly etc.

MoongirlsCat · 25/08/2012 09:56

Ooooo, your bloke would hate me! I hardly ever tip!

I have a perferred taxi company I use and if the fare is say £4.50 I'll give him £5 and if we eat in a really nice restaurant with excellent service we tip then (usuallay Asian restaurants).

Otherwise, no. I don't tip.

NotGeoffVader · 25/08/2012 10:00

I only tip when I think the service has warranted it.
In the case of the place you went to, I'd have written a letter of complaint, because if they are in the customer service industry, then they need to be providing a decent level of service.
It might have been that they were short-staffed, or that the manager was no around, but that's no excuse for scrimping on how customers are handled.

Justme23 · 25/08/2012 10:06

I only tip if the service is good. That's what a tip is, it's isn't something to be expected regardless of service.

I'm finding more and more that I end up not tipping. But I will also state my reasons for withholding a tip to either the staff member or their manager.

I wouldn't have tipped either OP

lurkedtoolong · 25/08/2012 10:19

YANBU at all. Tips are for good service, you didn't get it so you don't leave a tip. I think I'm a very good tipper and when I leave a tip I want it to be a decent one but I've also got no problem with not leaving one when there's been bad service or when there's an "optional" service charge already added to the bill.

My DH has a couple of times refused to give the optional charge because the service was so bad.

ENormaSnob · 25/08/2012 10:36

Yanbu

I wouldn't tip for poor service.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 25/08/2012 13:44

YANBU we went to an indian restaurant that we had never been to before, got a very poor meal and when the bill came I looked and found they had charged us £7.95 for a bottle of water, before I got chance to query it the waiter popped up and said what have they done? I pointed it out and he changed it but if felt like he knid of knew it was wrong and hoped we wouldn't notice iyswim. anyway I was a bit pissed off so paid exactly and no tip. we were kicking ourselves for not going to our usual one which in our opinion is the best anywhere we have been. (we luff curry) Smile

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 25/08/2012 13:44

kind not knid

MoongirlsCat · 25/08/2012 13:48

I do once remember trying to book a table in a restaurant for my bloke's birthday.

They told me that for groups of ten or more they charge a 10% 'service charge' on the bill.

Didn't go there in the end. Wink

AlmostAHipster · 25/08/2012 13:49

I usually give 10% for acceptable service ie there's nothing to complain about, more if the service is good. I would not have tipped the young lady who served you last night as she sounds like a stroppy little moo.