to expect just one member of my family to share this with me?

[kazmus]

Apart from my dh who is always so ssupportive, no brother, sister in laws father cousins have even acknowledged that it is 2 years tonight that I lost my beloved dd aged 24. We are feeling so alone in our grief, why do families let you down when you need them. The candles are taking us through midnight, but I feel so angry for her.

I too am sorry to hear about your DD. We lost DD1 and too have been hurt at how spectacularly bad some people have been about acknowledging her. I will light a candle tonight for your DD.

Sorry for your loss OP. People often may come across as uncaring because they say nothing, but they have said nothing in case it upsets you.

Some people are also very crap at remembering anniversary dates.

I remember my Mums birthday, I remember her wedding anniversary date, but I do not remember the date she died. It was only 4 years ago and still feels raw, but the date of her death just does not register with me. I remember how many years, and I remember the months of close family deaths, but never the actual date.

My husband is the opposite of me and always remembers exact dates.

You are most definately NOT unreasonable.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Your family should acknowledge this day.
I am so sorry they do it have the courage to do so.
My family are the same and it hurts every year.
Thinking of you and your girl x

So sorry for your loss - I agree with others that your family probably don't know how to approach the subject, or whether to say anything, but hopefully they are thinking of her and you. Losing a child must be an almost unbearable thing, I hope you and your husband can find comfort talking about her together at least.

Hi Kaz

I too lost a DD she was just shy of two..people are all very different, the dont feel things the same way, she was yours and in some way she wasnt theirs so the attachment is not as strong. it hurts and it sucks, and you want to punch their faces in, I imagine that at least one of these people you mention would be mortified if they knew their faux par towards you and would be a little ashamed.

My family is only small, we lost my DD 16rs ago now, and it is still like yesterday sometimes, I will get a call from m parents on the day, but they wont mention her unless I do, as they like to be guided to how I want to handle it.

Please dont let the day of rememberance be tainted by your anger and disapointment of others, you are not responsible for their feelings or lack of,
maybe they are not sure how to handle it and like a lot of people decide to not say anything for fear of upsetting you. Remember her with love which I am very sure you do, and try and forgive those who see their thoughts and pain differently.

xx

Sorry must add sorry for your loss hun ..

Please try to take comfort that there are a lot of people nationwide who went to bed last night praying for your family.

YANBU to seek the support of your family, sadly not everyone knows how to deal with their own grief and perhaps fear upsetting you and your DH further. I truly cannot imagine the pain you feel. God bless.