to kick Poorly DP off the sofa?

[brighteyedbusytailed]

my DP is not feeling well today.
I am a SAHM /he works etc.
I saw him full length on the sofa and told him to get off sharpish I handed him a bucket and said
"If you are that ill take this and go to bed".
I did this because.
*I am 30 weeks pregnant I regualrly have dips when I have to rest my head for a bit and if I am looking after the kids all day I can't do that if he is taking up the whole settee.
*When I am I'll no-one helps me and I have to struggle with the kids all day alone.

• I know from past that he thinks I am going to look after him if he is on the sofa which I am loathed to do due to above point.
• I can only pray to have the opportunity to go to bed when ill, *I've had severe Msickness with both pregnancies and had to struggle with being sick 6-7 times a day. he's been sick once and is looking pitiful

Am I a horrible mean person? I feel it, but I also feel loathed to have him whinging on the sofa all day.
Its been pinted out to me I can't kick him off his own sofa.

aibu?

Hard to say...
I had severe sickness through my pregnancies so I do understand.

How ill is he?

like a bug

YANBU. He's just in the way there - he can go & lie down in bed. He can get better rest in the quiet, anyway

Nooooo! Kick him upstairs. Tell him that it would be better for him to stretch out blah blah.
My dp does this, drives me mad. When I'm I'll I have to look after myself and the Dcs. But when he's I'll I really think he believes the world should stop, everyone should turn look at him and clap him for being a brave boy.

Also impossible to look after dc when someone ill on sofa

If he is ill enough to be at home, he needs to be in bed. If he is well enough to get up, he's well enough to help you, or go to work.

Them's the rules.

You could start singing linger by the cranberrys

How old are the DCs? Could you subtley encourage some noises toys / games or not intervene too much if they start arguing. Once they've asked him to play with them a few time he might get bored & decamp to bed. Cbeebies on at top volume perhaps, or maybe the loud music you 'always' llisten to whilst you do some housework / singalong with the kids?

This is one of the few situations where you can't be too cloying. It should be 'My Darling, you look so unwell - I've turned the bed down for you and I'll bring you up some tea and scrambled eggs in a moment'.

Then, after he's ensconced, get on with life. All you need to do is pop your head in once or twice an hour (literally just head round the door) saying 'How are you feeling, Darling?' and close the door after a groan or two. That should keep him up there and the rest of the afternoon is yours.

Do you only have the one place to sit?

Do you want to kick him off so that you can lie there instead?

Why not treat him how YOU would like to be treated when you're ill. Would you like to lay on the sofa and have someone be nice to you? Do that then.
With a bit of kind persistance, he may eventually follow your lead and reciprocate when you're ill. Either way, you're sending him a message about how you would like things to be.

Could you go to bed for a couple of hours and leave the kids with him?

It would annoy the shit out of me too, but you are really being unreasonable. He's ill so let him lie there, he's not taking over every seating place or surface in the house is he?

You do sound fairly mean and unsympathetic to be honest...a bit like you're talking about kicking a dog off a sofa.

It's horrible having a bug and it's horrible having morning sickness but you sound a bit competitive and resentful.

Perhaps there are other issues you need to address together when you're both well enough?

I'd go to bed and leave him in charge of the kids

If he'd tell you to pull yourself together, and either get to the doctor's or go to bed, and hand you a bucket - then no, you're not being unreasonable at all.

If on the other hand... he didn't do that then, yes, YABU.

Perhaps you both need to be a bit kinder to each other! I cant imagine not looking after dh if he was ill but equally i cant imagine him not looking after me. you could always bring a duvet down and snuggle together on the couch when you feel a bit tired.

I was a bit mean yesterday in a 'taste of your own' kind of way.

I spoke to him about the reasons I think he still thinks I'm the devil incarnate though