to get raging mad when mum doesn't stop her ds from hitting other kids at a get together?

[tetherendtoo]

i was at a playdate and there were mostly 4yo boys. as boys do, they ran around being superheroes. but one boy just rushed around jumping on the other kids, grabbing them by the neck thumping them in turn and generally being quite violent. when he grabbed my ds anpulled his trousers down then sat on his head, i intervened. the mum didn't even react-no ticking off or even talking to me about it. i know boys get boisterous but it was just unpleasant and made other mums uncomfortable too.

Did you say anything to her?

i told her things were getting out of hand and i'd had a word but she just went back to her conversation and mobile phone stuff. it was like being blanked or she didn't think there was a problem. there really was no reply to the subject!

Id have told the child to stop being a little shit & play nicely.

Some parents just let their kids to do anything.

Did she see it?

YANBU.

Is your DS ok?

Yanbu.

I would have pointed it out tp the parent, if she still did nothing then i would have!

Especially if it involved my ds!

Some parents just don't give a shit, lazy feckers!

How is your ds?

I'm having name issues, OP

Unless you're madly in love with me, in which case I love it.

I think you were right to say something even if you can't tackle the mum about it. My Dnephew is really aggressive and the one usually hurting people but it's the message it sends to the other kids if no-one acknowledges it-it becomes acceptable or worse if it's your DS DD getting hurt they lose faith in you to protect them. I've seen it happen with other family members, unfortunatley, and it can change a kids behavior. We stay away for that very reason

I thought you were the same person!

ooo er at name confusion

So what's the etiquette in this uncomfortable situation?

Well, from what I have read before, a pm to discuss politely.

However if there is no agreement on a nc for either party then ask MNHQ ??

I'm sure I have seen the OP before and thought it was you tethers , very confusing!

It's like wearing the same dress as the mother of the bride.

Anyway, I would have said 'kindly get off my son' or something along those lines. I saw on Dr Phil that saying my son of my daughter in these situations sends a message that that child has a protector or some such thing.

This is one of those moments isn't it when I can say ....AWKWARD!

yy AWKWARD

Do a check to see who had the name 'first' then PM to suggest gently that confusion is rattling some posters (you can point to me as an example, I shall put on my puzzled face)

If this isn't effective then a polite thread asking ever so nicely

If no success then CAT ME YOU CUNT etc*

*this last prob will result in ban so best not, hmm?

OP, I think you need to take avoidance action, just swerve any invitations to play with that child for a while.

I have a similar problem with friend's DS - he actually knocks the crap out of my DS and others too. it's just horrid and I wish she would discipline him properly.

I would have told the child off myself then made a pointed remark to the mother about that being her job

I think the OP is quite new.....

Didn't this happen before, a load of new posters turned up with very similar names to regular posters.

FIght!! Pull each others trousers down and sit on heads.

Tethers end too, sounds awful, I would have been very narked.

YY *hobnob!

OP. You must immediately are obliged to change your name in this situation . I'm having and feeling forthright this evening.

Say something to the mum concerned.

I've told other children off before due to aggresive behaviour, I've never tried to find their parents as I'm a coward aware that they either know their child is agressive and don't care or they have to deal with their over-boisterous child all the time and may be taking an opportunity to ignore.

I think that another adult (not parent/carer) telling off a child is often much more effective. I have also found that the badly behaved child is often just wanting to join in but hasn't communicated that effictively to the other children, so a bit of adult supervised play can help there too. However, if with adult supervision this child was still too agressive then I would escort him back to his mum and tell her the whole story.

HarDeHarHar