Children helping themselves to food in other people's house

[Jules666]

Was I being unreasonable to ask my DS's friend (7.5) to put an ice cream back in the freezer which he was helping himself to and to ask first? I'd already given him one earlier.

This happened last time he came over to play here and since then his mother has been a bit distant with me and my DC hasn't been asked to theirs. She doesn't really do telling them off so wondering if she's not happy I that did.

Just wondered what the etiquette was for dealing with someone else's child in your home.

YANBU

The cheeky little begger!

I would be furious if my own 7 year old helped herself to ice cream, let alone someone elses!!

YANBU!

I think you did the right thing. It was very rude of the child to just help himself. If the mother thinks you are in the wrong for telling him to put it back, well I would be questioning whether that mother is the type of person I wanted to be friends with as it seems like she has very odd parenting ideas.

I'd tell him to put it back if he'd just taken it without asking.

Any children in my home are subject to pretty much the same rules as my own children, and if they (or their parents) don't like it they can bugger off. The only difference is I shout at them less.

If it's on the surface, ie fruitbowl it's fair game (but it's polite to ask first) . Otherwise you wait to be offered.
YANBU (How rude)

YANBU
Friend is and should teach her kid some manners.

YANBU - your home, your rules, end of.

ooooo I would be mortified if I found out my children had stolen food - cos that's what it is. Unless they have specifically been told to help themself to whatever it is, it is stealing.
I wouldn't want a child that did this in my house tbh, although that said, if he is only young, I would be blaming the parents rather than the child. I would have expected his mother to stop him or at least tell him off afterwards, and if she didn't, well, that would probably be it as far as being invited into my home went.
I might be erring on the harsh side because of my own circumstances here though - we are on a tight food budget, my own children ask before they eat anything, unless they've already been told it's ok to just eat, as practically all the food in the house is mealplanned and needed for something. We just don't have excess food lying about. Even if we did though, I still wouldn't condone them just helping themselves I don't think, and certainly not someone else's child doing so, it is so rude!

Yanbu, I don't allow my own children to help themselves to anything except fruit, and in other people's houses they ask for everything. I'd be raging, he is old enough to know that is rude. Even my two year knows that. We were at a friend's house today and trotted over with an apple from her bowl and asked if he could eat it.

YANBU,
My own DC's wouldn't dare take anything from the freezer without asking. I would be very is someone else's DC did.

Definately YANBU. Sounds like he needs to be taught some manners.

YANBU!

I would be furious with my children if they'd have done this - they're not allowed to take food at home without asking (bar the fruitbowl) never mind at someone elses house!

Very rude.
DD has to ask for food in this house, never mind visitors.

This is a real bug bear of mine, I can't stand it when kids come over and then help themselves to stuff. I especially hate it when they open the fridge or cupboard and have a good browse first

You didn't "tell him off", you told him not to rifle through your freezer without asking. Why shouldn't you? As to dealing with other people's children in my home, if the behaviour is something I would tell my own children off for; then I'll give their mum (if present) one shot at dealing with it and if she doesn't I will.
What I won't do is ignore bad behaviour while someone who "doesn't do" telling off acts as if it isn't happening.

My DDs ask for everything, even fruit (even though I always say yes to fruit!)
YANBU at all. If I found a visiting child helping themselves to treats they would very quickly find themselves on the end of a bollocking. It's stealing!

YANBU, very rude behaviour for a 7 year old. At his age he should know that. My 5 year old DD asks for anything she needs at home and outside.

I have a rule these days that I won't put up with anything from visiting children that I wouldn't put up with from my own children. Whether it's taking food, being rude, chasing the pets, climbing on the furniture, if the mother just sits there like a cardboard cutout and says nothing, I pull them up on their behaviour and tell them that we don't do that in our house.

If it was fruit I wouldn't care, but opening a freezer and taking out an ice cream?! No no no. That's wrong, ywnbu. I'd do the same.

Phew that's a relief. I didn't really think I was but just wanted to be sure.

What really annoyed me was that he walked passed me (in the kitchen) to go to the utility room where the freezer was so could easily have asked me.

To be honest BadEducation it's looks like our friendship has run it's course anyway after she told me how lucky I was to get a break from my DS's when they go to their dad's as she never gets a break. I texted back to say that she has a husband who she could leave the kids with while she goes out and has a bit of time to herself. It didn't go down well.

She works part time in the afternoon and all her children are school age so she has every morning to herself but she won't go anywhere on her own as she 'doesn't like driving' and will only go somewhere if someone else drives her. I've done it a few times then got fed up with it being one sided.

Oh well. I only seem to keep friends if I don't expect anything back.

The fact that she allows her children to do what they like unchecked and the fact that she then desperately needs a break from them may well be connected...
She's no loss.