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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have squirted my DC1 with cold water?

44 replies

bubby64 · 23/08/2012 22:09

He is 11yrs and was refusing to go to bed, despite the fact it was 9.30 and we all have to be up at 6.30am to he and his twin can go to holiday club whilst DH and I go to work. He is too big for me to manhandle, wouldn't listen to reasoned discussion, a smack would do no good whatsoever, and he was starting to kick up a stink. I warned him 3 times, then after the 3rd, I used a sports bottle to squirt cold water on him so he had to go upstairs to get dry and change!
I am getting fed up with him and his brother being rude and downright bloodyminded, and I thought if it works on the dog, it will work on a child. He is now up in bed crying and saying what a bad mother I am!

OP posts:
MammaTJisanOlympicSumoWrestler · 23/08/2012 22:11

Sounds fair to me, no permenent harm, just a bit wet and yet the message got acroos. Supernanny could use this!!

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 23/08/2012 22:12

Well I'm with you and think it was a good idea - it saved you having to try and move him with brute force, risking not being able to do it, didn't actually harm him in any way, and had the desired result.
That said, I once set my pfb on fire to get his arse moving so I am possibly not "average" in my responses to such things. FWIW though, I think you did the right thing!

technodad · 23/08/2012 22:12

He is 11 - tell him to man up.

bogeyface · 23/08/2012 22:12

I sure there will be someone who pops up and tells you that actually that is classed as assault and tut at you.

But i think YANBU at all. No pain, no harm but a definite message that his behaviour wont be tolerated. I rather think you should keep the bottle with you at all times!

anditwasallyellow · 23/08/2012 22:13

I will reserve judgement because I don't have to deal with an 11 year old.

Would threats of removing privilidges work?

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots · 23/08/2012 22:15

I have one of those! I get full on toddler style tantrums if something doesn't suit him.

I might steal that idea OP!

Though he might kick off even more, did your DS go upstairs willingly?

Anyhow, yanbu.

MammaTJisanOlympicSumoWrestler · 23/08/2012 22:15

Pom above average maybe?

anditwasallyellow · 23/08/2012 22:15

And btw I'm sure you will but perhaps tomorrow I'd have a chat with him about respect and boundaries and make it clear that there are certain house rules and if he can't follow them there will be consequences.

Nymia · 23/08/2012 22:16

YANBU. Read this out to my DH, and sad to say we both had a guffaw at the poor (soaked) child's expense...

(We use this on the cats and now we see it works on sons, we may just bear it in mind for when ours is old enough to need it!)

Original poster
bubby64 · 23/08/2012 22:21

DH got in from work and said I had over reacted, but he would have been even more annoyed if he had come home and found said DC sat in his chair in a total sulk refusing to move! He is already on an Xbox ban, and has had his phone confiscated for bad behaviour yesterday!

OP posts:
Original poster
bubby64 · 23/08/2012 22:24

They start high school September, and I am soooooooo glad the 2 of them have been put in different forms, so they won't fight so much, it was a fight with his twin which set him off again tonight.

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LaurieFairyCake · 23/08/2012 22:24

At the risk of stepping into a minefield it sounds like he is reacting to holiday club/ you both being at work?

I swear I'm not judging you for having to do it - but have you tried talking to him to find out why he's acting up?

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 23/08/2012 22:27

I'm never quite sure Mama Blush sometimes I say something that I think is really ordinary and it turns out to be weird/scary/really far out to other people, and sometimes they say things that I think are weird and it turns out everyone else thinks it's perfectly fine, so I get a bit confused sometimes Confused

Just in case anyone was worried - I didn't actually ignite him into flames, I just singed three hairs, honestly. And he was 17, not 11. (am I making it better or digging it deeper?)

Original poster
bubby64 · 23/08/2012 22:29

squirted not totally willingly, no, but I wouldn't give him a towel, and he had to go up to get dry, and I threatened to squirt him again if he came down again!

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MammaTJisanOlympicSumoWrestler · 23/08/2012 22:29

Better, really!! You are fine, you do your best in difficult circumstances, that is all any of us can do!!

WithACherryOnTop · 23/08/2012 22:29

WTAF Pombear? You did what? I'm presuming/hoping that it was an accident.

WelshMaenad · 23/08/2012 22:30

Totally stealing this idea. * virtually high fives OP.

Original poster
bubby64 · 23/08/2012 22:36

He loves the holiday club, it's one that has activities all day like canoeing, air rifles and quad bikes. No, it was because he had had a fight with his brother(againSad) and thought I should tell his bro off more, when, in fact, as usual, it was 6 of one, half dozen of the other. They are per teens and turning into "Kevin's" before my eyes!

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Original poster
bubby64 · 23/08/2012 22:38

If water doesn't work, maybe I will think about fire next time Pom lol

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Floggingmolly · 23/08/2012 22:39

Is he really upstairs crying because he got a bit wet? At 11?

Floggingmolly · 23/08/2012 22:40

Pombear. Shock. That could have gone spectacularly wrong, very quickly.

Original poster
bubby64 · 23/08/2012 22:44

flogging I think it was more to do with the loss of face and hurt pride than everything else, they were crocodile tears to gain DHs attention that really being upset Grin

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CaliforniaLeaving · 23/08/2012 22:59

At 11 I would figure out what it is he values (game system, DVD's iPod whatever it is for him) and use that against him. Tell him now, bed or you won't get.... for two days or whatever you decide, then make sure you follow through, if he continues to whine and buck then tell him keep it up and it's 2 days more, and follow through. They get the message very quickly. I went shopping with the x-box controllers in my car. Grin Now my boys have left (18 and 23) and they still like us and no harm was done.

peeriebear · 23/08/2012 23:04

I threaten DD1 (10) with a squirt from a water bottle on school mornings if she refuses to get up (it's like trying to get a limpet off a rock, a really bloody minded mardy limpet). Only once have I done it, she got up sharpish, and now she knows I'll follow through on my threat!

Original poster
bubby64 · 23/08/2012 23:16

Califonia - I have already got his phone and the Xbox lead, and have said they will be kept an extra day p, but that wouldn't shift him at the time, so I was at a bit of a loss how to physically move him, that's why I came up with the water idea, he also had 3 warnings before I used it , he was warned there would be consequences, not what I was actually going to do, as I hadnt thought of it when I gave warning 1, it just popped into my head when I saw the bottle waiting on the side ready to get the neighbours cat when it went to sh*t in my gravel!

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