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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To refuse forceps or ventouse delivery

48 replies

mummypig189 · 23/08/2012 21:31

Quick background-
Im pregnant with my third child, 2prev emcs both awkward positions
Would v much like to try for a vaginal birth this time but in case of emergency i would only like a c-sec, not an instrumental delivery.
Is this an unreasonable request to make when i see my consultant in 3weeks time?

OP posts:

BartletForTeamGB · 23/08/2012 21:34

You can ask but it might not be possible. Sometimes the baby gets stuck very low down so a C section is very very difficult and can be more dangerous than normal and they need to pull the baby round and out with ventouse. Speak to your consultant. If you really don't want them to be an option, perhaps an elective section is your best bet.

MoreBoober · 23/08/2012 21:35

Absolutely not unreasonable, this was exactly my feeling with my DS and as it turned out I ended up emergency section.

topknob · 23/08/2012 21:38

dd2 was stuck and in grave danger, I had no choice but to have her born by ventouse. The cord was round her neck twice and I was bleeding all over the show. I didn't even get asked the consultant just did it.

Wigglewoo · 23/08/2012 21:41

Yanbu. I had a ventouse delivery with dd and opted for an elective c section with ds to avoid the possibility of ventouse or forceps.. I found the recovery from the c section ten times better and less painful than from the ventouse delivery! (But I appreciate everyone has different experiences).

blondieminx · 23/08/2012 21:43

Yanbu at all.

I would rather have major surgery than giant BBQ tongs up my fanjo, personally!

NoWayNoHow · 23/08/2012 21:44

As others have said, it just depends on the stage at which the intervention is required. With me, I'd already been pushing for 2 hours and whilst they could have done a CS, it would have involved some incredibly painful and damaging pushing DS back up in order to get him out, so they went with ventouse.

It could've been avoided though if they'd just conded after 27 hours of labour that nothing was happening and I needed EMCS then and there. But they were busy/it was midnight/they couldn't be bothered, so I have to go through hell instead.

Just keep your eye on your own situation, and have somebody there to fight your corner. If you sense that you're reaching a point of no return, and nothing's happening, then just demand...

caramel1 · 23/08/2012 21:46

I had a ventous delivery with my 2nd son. Yes I had to be cut, but everything was happening so fast I don't remember any pain.

Personally, I'd rather have anything but a c section

PenisVanLesbian · 23/08/2012 21:48

Yabu. A ventouse is used when its the right call, a section is done when that is the right call. By that point it will be far too late for a personal preference to come into it.

MysteryThing · 23/08/2012 21:49

You can ask all you like but when it comes down to it the doctors will do whatever they deem necessary at the time to deliver the baby swiftly and safely. It's sometimes horrible and brutal, but that's the way it is - the aim is to get a live and healthy baby delivered.

If you are well into second stage and the baby gets stuck/shows prolonged decels or bradycardia, then sometimes there is no time at all to get you into theatre, they just have to haul the baby out as quickly as they can. It would take a dangerously long time (in some emergency circumstances) to get you into theatre, adequately anaesthetised, into the uterus and pull the baby back up the birth canal.

I'm not saying it will happen to you (I hope it doesn't), but it isn't something you can plan for. You have to trust that the midwives and medics will do the best they can for your baby and for you.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 23/08/2012 21:50

There shouldn't be any reason why you can't discuss it with the consultant and see what they say. Presumably they have an expert opinion and will tell you the various options, how likely any scenario is, what might happen, and answer all your questions. That's why they hold the clinics isn't it? to prepare as best they can.

Minshu · 23/08/2012 21:51

Surely the sooner you make this preference known (i.e. well before labour starts), the more likely you are to get what you want if the labour progresses that way? I would hope that to be the case, anyway.

I got the option of instrumental delivery or CS after pushing for a couple of hours, too, but the position that DD was in meant she hadn't got into the birth canal, at all... I went for emcs as my nephew had his shoulder dislocated when he was born using forceps :(

topknob · 23/08/2012 21:52

Oh yes the ventouse hurt, it hurt alot, but I was fine after, no pain, no tear just the same as any other vaginal delivery and dd was ok which was what mattered, except for the egg shaped lump on the side of her head for a few days.

Original poster

mummypig189 · 23/08/2012 21:53

My last labour was a little over an hour from first contraction to 10cm and i felt so out of control. So i know i will have a fast labour again this time.

Is there a point of no return when i cannot refuse an instrumental delivery?

OP posts:

MysteryThing · 23/08/2012 21:53

I've just read that back and I sound unsympathetic. I didn't mean to; I personally would certainly pick a emcs over forceps or even a ventouse.

I'm just making the point that unless you go for elective section, once you are in the midst of the birth you don't necessarily get a choice. This isn't because they are disregarding your preferences, but because their priority (as they assume your priority) is to get the baby out as safely as possible.

Shagmundfreud · 23/08/2012 21:54

YABU

Doctor will make clinical decision as to safest way to deliver the baby based on how far the head has descended/position of head.

Going against this advice can put you and baby at risk.

RedHelenB · 23/08/2012 21:57

I had the perfect natural birth after 2 ventouse deliveries so fingers crossed for you xx

topknob · 23/08/2012 21:58

I would go another ventouse over a c section any day !

MysteryThing · 23/08/2012 21:58

Is there a point of no return when i cannot refuse an instrumental delivery?

Yes, pretty much.

My last labour was a little over an hour from first contraction to 10cm and i felt so out of control. So i know i will have a fast labour again this time.

That is very fast and very scary. Is that why you're seeing the consultant? It's usually the case that if you were that fast last time you will be again, but not always - third births can sometimes be very different to the last.

Original poster

mummypig189 · 23/08/2012 21:58

The reason why i dont always trust what the docs say is because with my first only 4 years ago the consultant suggested they perform a high head forceps delivery, which i now find out shouldnt even be performed.
I can only imagine the damage they would have caused me had i not refused.

I suppose i dont always believe they have the patients best interests at heart

OP posts:

Minshu · 23/08/2012 22:00

I obviously had an unusual experience (perhaps as DD was so wedged that we had the time), in that I had lots of experienced obstetricians and midwives talking to me, offering me options, advice and encouragement and treating me like an intelligent adult instead of the half-naked, sweaty, screaming banshee that I was at the time.

Speak to your consultant at your appointment, when you are not in the midsts of it all, and they can tell you how things work in your hospital.

Not really sure what could possibly be unreasonable about that?

KitCat26 · 23/08/2012 22:02

You may as well let them know what you would prefer but bear in mind the medical professionals will do what they think is necessary at the time. There may not be time to preform a c-s.

DD1 was a forceps delivery. It was bloody agony and I tore badly. But it was over quickly and she was alive which is all that mattered to me. DD2 was born by elective c-s. It was bliss.

Fleurdebleurgh · 23/08/2012 22:03

What is your objection to an 'instrumental delivery' ?

Original poster

mummypig189 · 23/08/2012 22:04

Im seeing the consultant because of my two previous sections, presumably to discuss a third.
Although i did see his registrar at 20weeks and she said it would still be possible for me to go for a v birth.

Im not sure where there feeling are coming from, i was all for a c-sec at the beginning of the pregnancy but the more i think about it, the more i dont want another.
But then with a vaginal birth, im venturing into the unknown which is just as scary!

OP posts:

SeventhEverything · 23/08/2012 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JoshLyman · 23/08/2012 22:05

YABU. You should agree to whatever it takes to get a healthy baby and a healthy you.

Sorry to be brutal but I worry about women who get hung up on a certain type of birth they want and then get very emotional when they don't get it. Better to be open minded going into it.

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