to feel to be made a little bit guilty by MIL and not arrange a visit?

[newmummytobe79]

I sometimes feel smothered by my MIL. She's a lovely lady but a bit overbearing and I often feel anxious before visits.

I usually see my parents a couple/few times a week and of course baby is with me. I think MIL is sometimes jealous of my relationship with my Mum and thinks I spend most days with her (which I don't) and I always arrange to go and visit my inlaws once a week with baby.

MIL lives a couple of minutes away from her other GC and I think she sees them most days so I accept she thinks this is 'normal'.

Last week baby saw FIL four times and MIL twice. This is a lot more than usual but my DH took baby round on his own which was nice as he got to see his parents and I got a couple of hours off :)

I received a card with a little present from the IL's (which DH brought home) and MIL had written in it 'hope to see baby soon' ... which I found a bit odd after last weeks contact.

I also recieved a text a couple of hours after DH had got home asking if baby liked the gift. Which I think was sent to prompt me to send a 'thank you' message back. Which I did. But would have done off my own back anyway - but probably the next day.

I've been busy all week and tomorrow is the only day I don't have plans. They haven't asked to see baby but I'm feeling like I should arrange a visit.

AIBU to not arrange a visit tomorrow but suggest one next week?

I would just like a day to go shopping and catch up on my piles of ironing!

I guess the card and text has just hit a nerve with me :(

Why not say, that would be lovely thanks,

I'll drop baby off with you whilst I run a few errands, is that oK?

If she says no, then say, sorry, I must do my errands so I'll see you next week?

Sounds like MIL was just trying to be nice to be honest. Having said that, yanbu to want to have some time to yourself and arrange a visit for next wee instead. How about letting MIL have your child while you do shopping/catch up on ironing? Could be a win win situation but guess it depends on how old baby is and how comfortable you would feel about that.

I think seeing your Pils once a week is plenty. Even if she was just trying to be nice, don't feel obliged to arrange a visit if you'd like a day to do your own thing. Sometimes it's okay to please yourself!

Agree with signet