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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to feel to be made a little bit guilty by MIL and not arrange a visit?

5 replies

newmummytobe79 · 23/08/2012 17:08

I sometimes feel smothered by my MIL. She's a lovely lady but a bit overbearing and I often feel anxious before visits.

I usually see my parents a couple/few times a week and of course baby is with me. I think MIL is sometimes jealous of my relationship with my Mum and thinks I spend most days with her (which I don't) and I always arrange to go and visit my inlaws once a week with baby.

MIL lives a couple of minutes away from her other GC and I think she sees them most days so I accept she thinks this is 'normal'.

Last week baby saw FIL four times and MIL twice. This is a lot more than usual but my DH took baby round on his own which was nice as he got to see his parents and I got a couple of hours off :)

I received a card with a little present from the IL's (which DH brought home) and MIL had written in it 'hope to see baby soon' ... which I found a bit odd after last weeks contact.

I also recieved a text a couple of hours after DH had got home asking if baby liked the gift. Which I think was sent to prompt me to send a 'thank you' message back. Which I did. But would have done off my own back anyway - but probably the next day.

I've been busy all week and tomorrow is the only day I don't have plans. They haven't asked to see baby but I'm feeling like I should arrange a visit.

AIBU to not arrange a visit tomorrow but suggest one next week?

I would just like a day to go shopping and catch up on my piles of ironing!

I guess the card and text has just hit a nerve with me :(

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 23/08/2012 17:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fruitysummer · 23/08/2012 17:11

Why not say, that would be lovely thanks,

I'll drop baby off with you whilst I run a few errands, is that oK?

If she says no, then say, sorry, I must do my errands so I'll see you next week?

signet · 23/08/2012 17:13

Sounds like MIL was just trying to be nice to be honest. Having said that, yanbu to want to have some time to yourself and arrange a visit for next wee instead. How about letting MIL have your child while you do shopping/catch up on ironing? Could be a win win situation but guess it depends on how old baby is and how comfortable you would feel about that.

HappyAsChips · 23/08/2012 18:04

I think seeing your Pils once a week is plenty. Even if she was just trying to be nice, don't feel obliged to arrange a visit if you'd like a day to do your own thing. Sometimes it's okay to please yourself! Smile

ladymariner · 23/08/2012 18:38

Agree with signet

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