not to take my girls to water park cos they're screeching ungrateful banshees?

[lowfatiscrap12]

it's a half hour drive away.
I have three kids.
I can only get 4 children in my car and suggested eldest daughters friend came along with us today. This was all fine. Until half an hour ago when eldest (age 12) decided she wasn't going to play with her younger sister at all, wanted to be with her friend alone and was going to ignore her sister (she's two years younger and they usually all play together at this place) and has just had a major meltdown about her sister being there. I can't leave her sister at home. I can't take her friend today (no room in car).. after the loud screeching match they've just made me endure, I'm reluctant to take them anywhere. So I've told eldest that I understand she doesn't want to play with her sister,(although she's managed it fine before at this place) and my middle daughter (9) doesn't want to play there on her own (I'll be with our 9 month old in baby pool) so we're not going, and I'll take her and friend to the local pool down the road where I can drop them off and return an hour or so later. She's now sulking and apparently I've totally ruined her life.
How do other people with two or three children cope during the holidays? Do your kids always have friends over together at the same time?
When do they go back to school? Is it tomorrow? Grrrrr..

I don't have 3 kids (pregnant with my first) but when you're 12 everything is the end of the world.

I would not take a child anywhere as a treat if they behaved as badly as that. You're not being unreasonable.

thank you. I agree. I'm sticking to my guns. I'm not rewarding that behaviour.

I wouldn't mind, but the friend is her best friend and has been round her roughly 3 full days a week during the summer holidays including the odd sleepover and dd hasn't been round there once because her friends Mum has been unwell, personal problems etc...so I'm slightly stressed and run ragged!

Mine are 8 and 10, and it can be difficult sometimes when a friend comes over. But I generally expect all the kids to play together if they're in my house. I don't like anyone being left out. If the older one wants to go out and call for a friend alone then she can. They're good about this, although I think it could change at about 12, when their interests will be a bit different....

I'm also slightly stressed with 3 dc at home in the school holidays so you have my sympathy.

I think youre right to stick to your guns but apart from that i've no better advice.

I ended up last night breaking my "no wine mon-fri rule". But at least we're over halfway there - roll on Sept.

They all played up but your eldest gets a treat? Middle child, baby and yourself are the ones being punished.

Yeah, as the cause of it all, how come the eldest and her friend get to go swimming together?

Kind of got her own way hasn't she?

Got to agree she's got her own way by being dropped at the pool, and the younger one ends up being punished.

YANBU, but I don't think she should be able to go swimming at all today.

Tell them that you will try again tomorrow, you all go to the water park, and they all get along and no one is left out, or everyone will stay home again. Don't give in to the sulks!

Yes, you're right. I shouldn't have let her go. I wish I hadn't. Would've felt a bit bad letting the friend down though cos shes done nothing in the holidays cos her mum has been ill. And on the plus side, I've dropped her and friend off and am enjoying the next peaceful couple of hours without her!

I have 3 boys and usually invite a friend each if I invite friends over at all (which is not often) We tend to do things with other families so I get a friend to talk to as well

I seem to have been hosting hundreds of kids here and don't get the adult chats cos their parents work, or have kids of different ages etc. Apart from the odd coffee or two, it's been a quiet summer. I'm just very thankful that we got a fortnight away to escape the madness!

Think taking her to the pool today was a big mistake. Seemed to me like she was the cause of the row (don't blame younger dd for not wanting to play on her own) and now has got a treat.

She will just do this every time now. I understand not wanting to let her fr iend down but actually your dd would have let her down
by kicking off. Will look to your younger dd that your older dd's friend is more important than her.

If a toddler acted up they wouldn't get taken anywhere.

Act like a baby, get treated like one.

I think it would have been better to take all kids to the water park, and make the pain in the arse 12 year old wait it out on a bench -0 having to watch as her best mate and younger sister had a fun old time.

Why take her to the pool at all? I'd send her to her room and send her friend home. She can come out when she wants to be more reasonable and next time to plan a day out no friends are invited due to her being so unreasonable.

yes, I made a mistake sending her, I realised that straightaway. I sent her for selfish reasons (to get rid of her for a couple of hours, so I could calm down) and so as not to disappoint her friend. She wont be getting away with it though. I'm not allowing her any friends over next week and banning her use of the phone for a while too.

Tis' fine to pack her off to give yourself a break.

Maybe if you still have a week of school holidays and can stretch to it, book her into a few days at an activity camp ? Supercamps, Mad science, Mother Nature Science, local leisure centre course, there's football and gym days around here too - would give you some time to play with younger ones and give her some independence from mum.

Sounds like the children need a good hiding.

"I have three kids."

"I can only get 4 children in my car and suggested eldest daughters friend came along with us today."

"I can't take her friend today (no room in car)"

I'm confused - why can't you, your three and the friend fit in the car?

I think YABU to expect a 12yr old to play with younger siblings when they have mates over.

Matcha, I think it's that she can't take a friend for her dd2 as well as for her dd1. In which case, dd1 should definitely "share" her friend. I take it the local pool is less exciting than the water park? Take dd2, baby and a friend for dd2, and leave dd1 at home tomorrow or next week!

that's correct. I can only fit 4 children in the car along with me. That's room for myself, my three children and one friend. I arranged for dd1's friend to come a few days ago. It was only an hour or so before I was due to collect her friend that dd1 changed her mind about having her sister there too. She didn't want her sister to come. I couldn't leave her sister behind. DD1 was at fault, no question about it. I was using this forum in the way most people do: to rant and let off steam!

I think you did what worked best for you at the time. Sometimes we have friends over at the same time but more often or not when one of the children is invited somewhere I'll use it as a chance to let the other have a friend to ours to prevent such arguments. DS2 doesn't mind and is a happy little soul so just lets the other two get on with things! It can be a bit of a juggle but hey ho, I'm sure it'll get better soon.

I have two children age 5 & 3 and its a relief hearing other people getting stressed out! Sorry I am of no help its just nice that I am not on my own lol. I am also expecting my 3rd (33 weeks pregnant) so have rubbish patience and I am grouchy :(

I think you did the best you could under the circs. I agree that DD1 shouldn't have friends over next week and DD2 should. I would find a few unpleasant chores for DD1 to do while DD2 has fun with her friend, and withdraw privileges (as you say, remove the phone)

I feel that you have had a lot on looking after best friend while her mum is ill, and have had no reciprocal visits so it's not unusual to look back and wish you'd handled things differently. It's difficult to not do things as a punishment for one DC because the others then miss out.

The funny thing is, they flounce off to sulk, and the only person they are hurting is themselves! You devote attention to the DC who are behaving while she's bemoaning her fate in her room, and she is getting none. Infinitely preferable to having hysterics and throwing things I think.