...to be a bit upset about this baby shower?

[yumyuminmytum]

Long story short - until about 6 months ago I worked in an office next to another department, always got along with the staff in there, went to their xmas parties, nights out etc. Then they were relocated to another building in our site. So I don't see them as much now, invitations to nights out dried up completely, they were all pleasant if they saw me but that was it.

One of the girls is now about to go on maternity leave - I was asked to contribute towards a gift, which I did, signed her leaving card and was told last week there would be a leaving do for her this afternoon. Said I'd come along.

So this morning comes and I've heard nothing. Tried ringing 2 different numbers in the department and sent an email but no answer from anyone. Too to go along to their office and ask what's happening about times/venue etc and now I'm feeling a bit stupid. I even put on some nice work clothes this morning for a change.

What do I do? And I realise I should be working before anyone asks

i would go along to their office and ask

it is an oversight. They contacted you re the gift, the card and told you about the afternoon do so you are not being shunned. I would go along to the dept and ask where and when it is taking place.

Don't be embarrassed. They told you there would be a leaving do today. Why wouldn't you just pop your head in and casually ask when it is? No biggie.

I guess I'm embarrassed to go over there and ask in case someone turns round and admits they've forgotten to get another seat for me at the restaurant or that they thought I wasn't coming. Not sure I could handle the

you're over-thinking it. even if they've forgotten you're invited, they can easily add you to the table or whatever. it's honestly not a big deal. unless you have reason to believe they secretly hate you and just used you to get a few quid extra for the leaving gift. seriously, go over there - and don't think of it as being about YOU. it's about the person that's leaving. you like her, you wanted to see her and wish her well. nobody could make you feel daft for being nice!

if you are prepared for that and just give a bright smile and say, oh that's ok. Mind you if they needed to reserve another seat, that can still easily be done surely.

Well I needed to email the girl leaving anyway about something work-related, so I've done that now. Will see if she responds.

I think it's quite rude to ask you to cough up for a present when you're no longer on the team, unless she is a particular friend, in which case I would think you would buy her a present if you wanted to. I think it's especially rude to ask you to pay when they no longer invite you on work nights out. Then, on top of that, not contacting you to tell you when the meal for her leaving do is out of order. There is a possibility they have just forgotten to ask you, but I can see why you're upset. Have you had a reply from your colleague?

No.

Have they contacted you yet?

Ohh, that is a shame, it probably wasnt done intentionally. Just badly planned.
Hope you had a nice day anyway

did everything work out ok in the end?

No, I didn't hear anything. Emailed her this morning and her out of office is now on. Ah well, I took myself out for a nice lunch today to make me feel better.

OP I'm sorry to say this but, unless you have an apology from someone, I would let this fiendship fizzle out as it seems very one-sided

Eitehr go over to the ofice or contact the person who collected the money form you. Its possible the PG lady didnt know all the details of the leaving do

Sorry didnt see the party was meant to be yesterday... but still dont know why tou didnt follow it up. I would still contact the person collecting the money and ask what happened

Greedy little shits. They took your gift but couldn't invite you to the "do". What arseholes. I'm angry on your behalf.

:(
don't be sad.
you're prob like me... avoid confrontation at all costs! but i do think it could have been solved if you'd gone over to their office and asked.

God, I know its not something you would do, but wouldn't you love to demand the money back!

Arseholes. I'd be upset too.

Yanbu, I would be sad and disappointed aswell.

Have you heard anything from anyone at all

I'm annoyed and disappointed on your behalf. At least you signed the card, so you weren't completely left out after contributing to her present.

I've had an email from someone else in the dept about work related stuff, so when I replied I asked what had happened about the baby shower as I hadn't heard anything. Her response was 'oh sorry, it was yesterday, didn't so-and-so tell you?'

Oh well, I can't really be bothered. The pregnant girl is off for a year so by the time she comes back she'll have no doubt forgotten. As for the rest of them, at least I won't be thinking about any forgotten invites to nights out/xmas party from now on!

And I was planning on giving her a load of my DC's old baby clothes - very glad I didn't. I had been reluctant as she's very well off and I know someone else who isn't and also pregnant, think I've made the right decision there!

Oh, and the PG girl was the one who arranged the do (and a list of things she wanted). She knew.

I am glad you let them know. I wouldn't worry about it anymore if I were you. It seems unlikely that it was done maliciously, more that they were thoughtless.

Have a lovely rest of your day