to ask about the arrangements

[nextsale]

a friend taking son out on sat for the day and i wanted to check on some of the arrangements re where they were going for the day and that an adult would be with the children at all times i think i have upset my friend now by asking would you be offended or do you think it is ok to check exactly what they will be upto

how old is DS

I would want a vague overview ie we're off to the castle, picnic lunch, drop DS off at about 6, text you if we're running late

but mine are pre teens

How old is ds?

Yanbu to ask and want to know but if you came across as mistrusting, ue asling lots of questikns about exact movements, time spent etc I would cancel on you.

9 which is a sort of middle age that different parents allow different levels of feedom feel bad now for asking

i only asked one question about if an adult would be with the kids i wish i hadn't now cause i would be miffed if someone asked me

It does kind of imply that you don't trust the person to look after kids. Sorry, but I can see why they would be a bit miffed.

i can see that now it was about swimming and if a adult will be going in the water with the kids oh well you live and learn made a mental note for next time

ah now if they were going to a public pool (lifeguarded) then if over 8 I wouldn't expect an adult to go in the water, I would expect the adult to pay the monies then say ''seeya in a hour, I'm over here with me coffee and my book''

thanks for the advice its not just a normal pool its a large on with slides and waves with no sitting area in the pool to observe and it is out of town that we have never been too but damage done now so will apologise on saturday for sounding paranoid

if it's lifeguarded then it's as safe as it can be whether or not an adult observes

you sound really anxious, next

just need to let them go a bit a stop acting as if they are still little wish you could buy a book of rules be so much easier thanks for asking should of asked on here first

I once went to watch a pool party to which my DD was invited - can't remember how old she was - about 8 I think. Several other parents, despite calling me parnoid, also stayed and watched.

Just laugh off your paranoia (while keepig it under wraps )

I would have asked the same question but then i get nervous if DS1 goes to the shop with someone else he is still tiny though. Thats my excuse and iam sticking to it!

is swimming the first thing they do unsupervised when do you cinema, shopping centers, parks etc maybe because the baby do not want to let go

I can't believe people think you were unreasonable personally. If my 9 year old was going swimming (or anywhere else) I would ask some general questions about the arrangements. I would have thought that the norm? You didn't interrogate her (I assume), just tried to get a sense of the outing. Thats just me I guess

no all i said was are you going in with them just wanted to check if it was the local pool that is like a second home i would not have been bothered but this is like a big indoor splash place

swimming, shopping, parks, going on the bus to Hereford with their mates; they all come at you with you wanting fend off the world with a Big Stick

sympathies

it's hard, I agree, spesh being the baby (I think that's what you indicated)

i know i have been through it once before but seem to of lost my nerve but i was a third child and seemed to be wrapped more in cotton wool than the older 2

Why should she be miffed? All my friends know that I am a nuerotic concerned parent and I am always asking them questions. I wouldn;t dream of taking a child to the pool andnot checking first with the parent that its ok to let them go in alone.

they are going in with them i think miffed because i doubted that they wouldn't maybe overnight i will grow a thicker skin i think if someone is doing you a favour then you feel uneasy asking but if if was school you would not having a problem asking a nights sleep and it will all be clear tom thanks for all your help guys

Sort of, yes. But it depends on your relationship/knowledge of the parent. For example, my DD ended up going to a theme park for the day with a friend's parent the other week. I thought they were playing in the garden and watching tv
Was I bothered? No! As I trust the parent absolutely and they are actually a consultant so I hope any medical thing would be covered
So my answer is, depends on how well you know the parent but I would probably be offended myself at in depth questioning and I just don't bother clearly with my own kids

I think it depends on how good a swimmer your dc is, and how confident in water. I wouldn't have been bothered with any of my dc at 9, but they were all very strong swimmers, but I've met lots of children who aren't that confident in water at that age, and, if mine were like that, I'd have asked.

If I'd been asked by another parent, then I wouldn't have been offended either - you only have to read MN for a day or two to begin to get an idea of how far apart different parents' views are, on all sorts of issues.