To think that it is not the woman's Mum's fault that she is pregnant

[confusedpixie]

My 20yo cousin and his 17yo girlfriend are expecting a baby. It was a shock and they are blaming the girl's Mum because the Mum told her daughter to stop having the contraceptive injection as she's gaining weight. So cousin's DP stopped taking it and they were using no alternative contraception.

Tbh I wouldn't be that bothered by the pair of them saying it as they are both very naive and the girlfriend is very much under her mother's thumb.

However they've told this story to the entirety of my very big family and not one member of my family are saying "Well actually, you should've stuck something on the end of it!", every family member is saying "Oh it's not their fault, her Mum told her to stop taking the injection so it's her fault."
When I pointed out that actually, they should both have been a bit more responsible every person I said this too got annoyed at me and told me not to say the same to my cousin as it's not his fault

WIBU to shout at them all next time that actually no, the girlfriend should have taken some responsibility for her own contraceptive methods and my cousin should have taken some responsibility for his contraceptive methods and now that there is a baby coming they should stop pointing the finger at her Mum and start getting ready for it's arrival?

What an odd situation. They sound very lacking in intelligence and/or maturity, to the extent that I'd be a bit worried about their ability to look after a child.

Yes they're young-ish, but surely at 17 you know about how babies are made and how to prevent them?

There's probably no point arguing and shouting about it now though.

Well, you can 'know' something without really really knowing it at 17 - because of course, you're invincible and it'll never happen to YOU! Just like lung cancer (smoking), liver failure (binge drinking) and STDs. Delusions of invincibility are pretty much a hazard of adolescance.

Very intelligent teenagers can be completely lacking in common sense.

Of course, now it has happened, hopefully they'll wise up in future and it sounds from the OP's later posts that that might be true.

(just to clarify, I'm not saying I'm worried about their parenting ability just because they had an unplanned pregnancy - it's the attitude that it's not their fault or responsibility, that they couldn't have been expected to know what would happen )

Actually the more I think about it the less sense it makes. Do you think they (or at least the gf) actually wanted a baby but don't want to admit it for some reason?

Really struggling to understand what is actually going on here.

They sound like idiots. When I was 17 I had been on the pill (which I organised myself) for a year, and I also had a smear test (they did them that young back in the dark ages). But then, I definitely didn't want to get pregnant, which I suspect is not the case here.

Oh yes I get that teenagers do irresponsible things, I do remember being 17! But at that age I would have been super-paranoid about pregnancy, would have got the morning after pill and had an abortion if necessary.

But then we really had Do Not Get Pregnant drummed into us as teenagers. And I firmly believed that it would ruin my life (and my parents would practically disown me).

I suspect there are not quite the same disincentives here. And this seems a bit...premeditated, stopping contraception in a long-term relationship. I wonder if the boyfriend knew?