to want a 'fuckbuddy'

[homesick247]

never thought it would come to this! just out of a long marriage and never really bothered about sex. i mean, nice to have and never turned it down but never 100% motivated by it. however it has been a while (3 months) and i thought to myself, yes, that is just what i would like. i am internet dating and am currently talking to three guys - the 'main one' is absolutely lovely and i am hoping for nice things there, but there is another one that is clearly only in it for the sex. normally i would dismiss this and not respond to any messages, but am actually considering this as a short term plan of action... anyone else feel the same way?

YANBU Feel the same way at the moment (although though don't have the time/babysitter to be able to do this)

As long as your safe (not just contraceptive wise I mean safe as in meeting someone from the internet) and you both know the boundaries of what you are expecting from each other then why not.

Why though can't a sexual thing come from the 'main one'.

If things go right with him you might not have to wait long for some 'lovin'.

Why not? go for it.
Me and DH were fuck buddies before we became a couple, that was 7 yrs ago lol and it was fantastic go for it

yes, bubalou i know what you are saying - but i am (normally) a very moral individual and wouldn't want main one to think i did that kind of thing.. i mean put out so soon..

It depends how you personally feel about it. My DH was a one night stand who turned into a fuckbuddy and then we became a proper couple. We're now married with 4 kids.

I didn't go into it expecting that though. If you want anything more than sex, don't use the fuckbuddy route to find it. I do advocate it as a means of uncomplicated satisfaction.

A year before my DH and I had a fuckbuddy for a year where nothing deveoped. We were well matched sexually and had a good time but we wouldn't have worked as a couple. In the end I moved on because it wasn't convenient anymore (college etc) with no hard feelings either way.

I doesn't have to be a big deal if you don't want it to be but, honestly, you don't sound sure so maybe you should think on it a little more.

I thought a fuckbuddy was all about hard feelings

I had fuck buddy's after being widowed, i knew i didn't want a relationship and was happily single.

I had a great time, you can have a regular arrangement and still get used to each other enough that you will be able to go beyond vanilla sex, if you want to.

I came to the decision, after 2 years that i wanted a partner and ended it, my main fb wasn't what i wanted in a partner, another was to young.

I got with my DP within a couple of months, it can work out well and stop you making mistakes, because you want sex, of affection.

I think that it does work out better after having a long relationship, or for older women.

i have had one and its great

i did not expect to hear from him the next day or he from me, we talked but i do not need or want his support if you are sure what you want then it is fine and enjoyable

now i think more of a relationship knowing what you want is important but accepting that can change is equally so

Hmmmm. Just make sure that you're not in an emotionally vunerable place if you're not long out of a long term relationship.

I ended up falling for my fb after coming out of a divorce 6 months before and it hurt like nothing else. All the time I was kidding myself it would turn into more and trying to convince myself I was happy.

Just be careful - with your heart and your body! :)

hi, thanks for thoughts and advice. i met someone really soon after my husband left and fell for him in a major way - was seriously more floored by that ending than my marriage so i know about separating the two. this would be purely a sexual thing, he is not someone who i think i would like to be with!

My FB was someone quite flawed that i wouldn't want in my children's lives as a influence, but very fit and lots of fun.

Pick your FB partner well.

@johnboy123 Think you're a little late mate.

You never know, the OP might still be searching for a fuckbuddy after six and a half years!

Probably missed the boat johnboy, but what is it you are after?