...to not want to discuss my health with my parents?

[Arana]

I have a number of mental and physical health problems.
DS has some developmental problems.

AIBU to just not want to discuss them with my parents? It seems like every conversation revolves around various health problems. I?ll admit, they are a fairly large part of my life, but I don?t want to have to talk about them all the time. They don?t define who I am, or who my DS is, and frankly, I?m bored of talking about them.

I know they just want to help (my mum has had similar problems in the past, and my dad is a retired GP) but I?m fed up of it.

Is it rude to just say from now on ?I don?t want to talk about it? when they ask about health?

I'm disabled too and I also get sick of being asked about it. I find a "I'm fine" in the right tone of voice and change of subject (usually asking a question about what themselves) sometimes works with my folks, but not always if they're determined, and I do get sick of being the 'disabled one'.

Perhaps saying something like "thank you for your support but I need to focus away from the issues/focus on the rest of my life to keep my strength up". I realise thats reeaally badly worded (new baby), but what I'm trying to get at is for you to try to word it in such a way that its not criticising them, but asking them to help you by shutting the hell up!.

of course I'm presupposing that subltity will work on your family, if not, then you have every right to ask them to not talk about it outright, you are absolutely right that the issues don't define either of you.

Imagine when your child grows up, would you suddenly expect to not be interested in their health? Sorry, but I do think you are unreasonable. It is normal and natural to be concerned and want to know when a close family member is unwell, be it your parent or your child.

It is understandable if it is the only topic of conversations perhaps, and yes you could say "I dont really feel like talking about it at the moment", but you really cannot expect your own parents not to show an interest in your health.

Tell them exactly this?

It's lovely that they worry about you

You are under no obligation to be open with them but if it were me I'd be completely open during a specific conversation, give them a plan for managing everything and then say but I'm distressed with it being made the whole focus in my life.

I would just say 'I understand that you are worried but I don't want to discuss it' and change the subject. The next time just look vaguely surprised and say ' I thought that I had explained- I don't want to discuss it' and change the subject.Don't give them a way in. Sound like a broken record if you have to.

Just keep repeating yourself till they get the message.

I think that because your mum had similar problems and your dad is a retired Doc might make them feel a certain 'ownership' over whatever problems you have.

I know this is much less worrying, but just to lighten the mood and share some of my own moments: I am 39+5 weeks pregnant with DC2 and for about a fortnight my mum has texted, rang, and asked in person about any potential pains I may have had, asked about my mucus plug and about whether DH and I are having plenty of sex

Some things are just not nice to discuss with nosey parents!!

YANBU!

The important thing is to not get annoyed. - just calmly shut them out of that part of life.

yanbu but I would Let them know you'll tell them about any important changes or developments, and I think they'll let go better. Imagine how you'd feel if your DS refused to discuss his health issues with you.

I don't discuss my health with my relatives. I'll occasionally mention something but I hate being fussed over. If you don't want to discuss it keep answers short and just tell your parents you don't want your illness to be the focus of conversations and don't want to keep focussing on it. I think older people can happily spend hours discussing illnesses. it is boring.
Fine if you want to discuss something with them but otherwise keep answers brief and vague and change the subject.

I don't discuss anything health related with my DM, mainly because it will be her sole topic of conversation with the world and his wife for days. She is unable to keep anything confidential or private, so YANBU.