to be asked when the baby is due?

[dannyboyle]

well i was upset but not sure how much I should be taking this to heart or not! Went out tonight for dinner for the first time after DD2 was born 12 weeks ago. Also have 18 month old DD1. Lovely dinner and evening but somewhat spoilt when the waiter asked us when the baby was due! think I was so surprised that he immediatly realised he was wrong and was very apologetic. It did however make me a little upset - know my stomach has not recovered yet but really didn't realise it looked that bad. We didn't complain but didn't hang around

Am I being daft to be so upset, should I just accept it as part of having two children or should I have done something about it by now. I have been trying to do some running etc but with two littles ones and breastfeeding it ain't easy and I perhaps have not eaten as well as I could have (chocolate!)! Have others encountered this or am odd?

What an idiot! (The waiter, not you) I'm sure he was mortified but YANBU to be upset. Try not to take it to heart though, he was probably just making small talk without thinking too much.

I looked pg for ages afterwards due to complications but baby was always with me so people could see I had had it iyswim.

Yanbu to be upset but some people are just tactless and I'm sure the waiter was mortified when he realised his mistake.

I'm not (and have never been) pregnant, and have often been asked if I was. Even once recently while downing rosé (I live in Paris, maybe that's not a nosy question here).
It's upsetting, for sure. But I've learned to brush it off. After all, it's far less embarrassing for you or me than for the person who puts their foot in it...

some people just have no tact!
I never ask unless its blindingly obvious just in case.

Some people just always say the wrong thing, when dd was 6 months old someone asked me when I was due the 2nd one its hard but pick yourself up and dust yourself down and realise that he will never say it to anyone again! Your baby is 12 weeks old, and you have a toddler - exercise? who has the energy or the time and you have had 2 in quick succession so don't feel bad, keep doing as much as you can and perhaps have 2 bars instead of 3 . Chocolate is good for breast milk.

I never ask, a swollen stomach could be anything.

If a women who I suspect is pregnant comes on the bus I will say you look tired do you want my seat.

One of my friends was given a stern and lengthy lecture by a stranger, in the pub, about how she shouldn't be smoking whilst pregnant. She has no children and has never been pregnant.

Stranger wasn't even embarrassed, friend was.

I have been there - shortly after my twins were born my friend said "Bloody Hell Hands are you pregnant again."
I gave him a stern look and said NO.

It was worse for him than it was for me.

Well my DD is 16 months, I also have a 5 year old DS. I have been asked 3 times within the last year. Onnce by my GP, who was mortified when I said, 'no', the second time my 5 year old nephew asked and finally I was in a supermarket and a man about 22 served me, he asked me if I wanted a bag for life, I said yes and he mistakiingly put through 2, I said you've charged me for 2 so can I have 2 bags. He then prioceeded to give me a jokey spiel about having a 1st class degree in packing so u'd only need one. He then looked at DD and DS and asked me when I was expecting my third, I said I wasn't and was embarrassed. Rather than parking his comments at that point, he askede if it was hard to loose the weight after the 2nd baby!

Some people just speak without thinking. When I was 19 and working in the local newsagents a customer came in and we were chatting while I bagged up his stuff. He asked me if it would be a Christmas baby and how nice that would be. It was early December and I wasn't pregnant. He continued to dig himself further into that hole while I just stared open mouthed not really knowing what to say.

I live in Asia and people are massively tactless about these things.

I came back from the UK after the summer and had, admittedly, stacked on some weight. I told my nanny I was popping to the gym before work, to which she said "Good idea because you are fatter than before" then paused and added "You have another baby?"

I went on a diet that day.

When my youngest was 7 weeks old somebody asked me when my baby was due whilst I was actually pushing her in the pram! Admittedly after having three kids in four years my stomach needed some help but I was mortified.

Poor you, some people are terribly thoughtless. My DH knew in the back of his mind that a girl who attends the same sports club was pregnant and we hadn't seen her for quite a while - when we next saw her he asked when the baby was due only for everyone to get quite embarrassed when he was told the baby was 14 months old. Girl didn't look pregnant any more but he hadn't added up the time in his head. Not sure who was more mortified.

I really understand you. My youngest is over 2, and last week I was asked twice when i was due, and congratulated again. It mortifies me and makes me terribly upset. I am very short (and a bit overweight) but I carry it all on my tummy. I read somewhere once someone saying that unless you can actually SEE the baby's head emerging you should NEVER ask a woman if she is pregnant.

I never ask anyone. Weight around the middle could be anything- you have a 12 week old for pete's sake! My stomach muscles were never very taut, but after being pregnant they are shot to hell.