My parents separated when I was 15. The icing on the cake was when my middle brother emptied my mums bank account and my dad refused to punish him (she would have been happy with a bit of scare tactic type talking to about the consequences of fraud, and remoal of pocket money for a couple of months, nothing outrageous).
My youngest brother initially lived with my Dad, he was 9 when they separated but asked to live with my mum when he started spending time with various women and leaving him alone until 11/12 at night (he was 11 and 12 at this point). He was 12 when he moved to my mums.
Since then my mum has provided pretty much everything, despite being disabled, no savings thanks to middle brother, and only incapacity and ctc to rely on. My Dad gives him £20 a month pocket money but not always. He occasionally comes up and treats him to a new pair of jeans.
He married a woman last year and has become progressively worse. He didn't tell us hed got married. I don't care that I didn't get an invite, but my brother was 15 at the time, they invited his wifes (adult) kids, and her grandchildren (he denies this but I've seen pictures), I feel they should have invited him.
He kept promising to take my brother on holiday which has never happened - despite he and his wife going abroad 4 times in the last year, plus a trip to disneyland with wifes kids and grandchildren.
He refused to allow me to visit with my daughter for an hour while I was in the area, because they had her daughter, son in law, 3 year old GC and new baby staying (they live round the corner? Why did the whole family need to stay at their house? I live 2 hours away and he hadn't seen my daughter for over 6 months at that time).
The next month, he refused to have my brother over to see him at all because his wifes son, DIL, and their chikdren were living with them (because they don't like their neighbours..)
On occasion that my brother has stayed his wife rips the piss out of him. My brother takes things very literally. She told him to wash the dishes. So he did and left them on the drainer. She then took to calling him "liam half a job" all week because he didn't dry them. If shed said to dry them too, he would have done.
They went to a christmas party and wife had a fit because my dad walked home, as they'd had drinks. She wanted to drive. She then screamed at my dad the next day about how he spends too much time with my brother, and she feels left out - this was christmasd, my brother had not been able to visit our dad since easter because of her "adult" dcs staying.
My brother has just turned 16 and is going to college. He was supposed to visit my Dad over the summer hols. Dad cancelled shortly before saying "DW has stepped down from manager so you can't come over, and our money goes in the same pot anyway so its not just mine its DWs too" (wtf? Sorry, why is it ok to support her adult dcs for pathetic reasons, go on holiday with them, but you won't fetch your son for a week? £20 in fucking petrol!)
Instead he promised to come over and buy brother some new clothes as he needs them
He then rang tonight, to tell my brother he will not be visiting because my brothers mobile phone bill (which my Dad pays for) is £100 he is not buying him any clothes and is not visiting him.
I can understand being annoyed at the bill, but firstly, none of us knew his mobile was uncapped - he used to pay for a limited contract with set minutes that you couldn't go over. That, to me, is a sensible arrangement for a teenager. No unexpected bills then! But no he changed it. Didn't tell my mum - if hed told my mum, shed have monitored his useage and took the phone if hed started running up a bill and given him a temp payg sim.
Secondly - why refuse to visit and buy clothes? These are fucking neccesities. He needs clothes. You do not deprive your child of necessities as punishment. If he had promised an x box game, and withdrew this in light of the bill, I think that would be acceptable.
I'm just so angry. Its the double standards that get me - when middle brother emptied mums bank accont and ended up with late mortgage payments, he refused to do anything. Other than tell me and youngest brother wed get nothing for christmas. (Middle brother had already had his, a joint bday/xmas pressie as it cost £300). He refuses to see my brother as "its DWs money too" but can support her adult kids, take them on holiday.. But not his own child, who is still a minor and dependant on parents? He cannot afford to spend £20 on petrol, yet they can afford brand new cars (two this year) and 4 foreign holidays?
Sorry its long. I'm just so angry. How dare he treat his son like this? And my mum. My mum struggles as it is and he begrudges one, avoidable if hed been sensible, expense so withdraws contribution to neccesities?