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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU holiday club staff

23 replies

kelly83 · 21/08/2012 21:38

Hi, first post so please be gentle. I have been a lurker for a while and need a bit of perspective regarding an issue with holiday club staff.

My son (10) attends a holiday club run at his primary school full time while me and my partner work during the holidays. Today he has been playing with a group of boys and got a little rough. He was sat out for some time to calm down which is fair enough.

During this time a member of the school staff - an IT technician has walked past my son a number of times pulling faces. My son has said to this guy stop trying to wind me up. The member of staff responded im not trying im succeeding.

This has ended up with my son being in further trouble for attitude and cheek and resulted in him being banned from a planned trip tomorrow with no alternative childcare offered.

Now i do not think my son is an angel and he is in trouble however i do believe this has been said to him. This words he used are not words he would on a daily basis so it has been said at some point.

I am considering emailing the deputy head teacher and holiday club manager about the IT technicians behaviour. i am slightly concerned that a member of staff would speak to a child in this way. AIBU?

OP posts:

Rubirosa · 21/08/2012 21:39

What did your son actually get in trouble for?

Mrsjay · 21/08/2012 21:41

so what are you supposed to do about tomorrow ? i think I would get in touch with them to see exactly what has happened, I am not saying your son is lying but maybe more to it, not fair if youa re left stranded and no childcare though

lisaro · 21/08/2012 21:41

It sounds like he was joking!! your son seems a serial misbehaver. Instead of emailing, deal with that.

Proudnscary · 21/08/2012 21:41

Who's told you this IT guy's been 'making faces' at your son...your son presumably? What do you mean by 'further trouble'? What was the initial trouble he got in to?

LadySybildeChocolate · 21/08/2012 21:41

You need to teach your son to ignore him. He'll go through his life meeting a lot of irritating people, so the earlier he learns to ignore them, the easier his life will be.

Welcome to mumsnet

numbum · 21/08/2012 21:42

Did the holiday club staff tell you their side of the story or has that just come from DS?

Seems a bit of an extreme punishment if what you've said is true

Original poster

kelly83 · 21/08/2012 21:43

sorry i have missed that bit out! After this incident the IT technician walked past and in my sons words stared at him. He has asked him what are you looking at which was overheard by the Deputy Head and she has made a decision due to his cheek that he cannot attend tomorrow.

He is in trouble at home for this part however i do feel that the IT technician has goaded him to a certain extend and should not be dealing with young children in that way.

OP posts:

MammaTJisanOlympicSumoWrestler · 21/08/2012 21:46

So your son was in trouble and effectively put in a 'time out' to chill and reflect. While he was doing this, a staff member not involved in the holiday club, but a normal member of staff at the school was going by and pulling faces at him, making an already wound up child even more wound up. Then when asked not to wind him up by the child (a reasonable request IMO), the adult responded in a smart arse manner, resulting in the child being more would up and getting in to more serius trouble and leaving you with no child care.

I would say all events after the time out are the fault of this so called adult, rather than your child. (Assuming this is the truth)

Mrsjay · 21/08/2012 21:46

kelley i think you should speak to the HT about it maybe the technician was joking around and your son took it the wrong way , he was maybe not goading him at all ,

wimblehorse · 21/08/2012 21:48

IT tech sounds like an idiot. But your son obviously said something back to him that was so out of order he's been banned
I think YAB a bit U assuming he has picked up whatever bad language from the staff there. At 10 could have been playground.
YANBU to be annoyed you have no childcare for tomorrow tho, but don't see what they can do
There have to be sanctions if his behaviour warranted being banned from the trip and I assume all staff would be going on it....

Original poster

kelly83 · 21/08/2012 21:48

from one post you can decide my son is a serial misbehaviour and that i am not dealing with it??

As i mentioned he is in trouble for his part and has missed the first home football match due to this incident.

however i just feel that he was in trouble rightly imo for playing rough and was being wound up by this guy who is firstly an adult and secondly working ina primary school which is inappropriate i may be wrong though

OP posts:

frumpet · 21/08/2012 21:48

Honestly , which are you more upset about , the fact that your son misbehaved or the fact that you have been left without childcare ?

Rubirosa · 21/08/2012 21:49

So the Deputy Head overheard your ds being cheeky to the IT technician about staring at him, and that's what's he's in trouble for?

And your argument is that as the IT tech and your ds were messing about/bantering previously then there are mitigating circumstances?

I think it is probably worth calling the HT and giving them your side of it.

numbum · 21/08/2012 21:50

So you heard all this from the deputy? Or from your son?

wimblehorse · 21/08/2012 21:51

X post. So your dd didn't swear at IT tech? From your op I assumed he had ("used words").
If it was as described, I think it is a bit OTT but deputy witnessed cheek to a staff member so did need some sanction...

Original poster

kelly83 · 21/08/2012 21:52

being left without childcare is a pita but has been sorted. at the moment i am feeling like the staff that i am paying a lot of money to look after him have today treated him quiet badly.

I am inclined to believe my son as he has repeated the exact conversation and events word for word to myself and oh a few times tonight. However the email i have drafted is not accusing ijust asking for the incident to be investigated i am planning on sleeping on it and sending in the morning.

OP posts:

bonhomiee · 21/08/2012 21:56

I don't mean to be unsympathetic as I know how stressful the summer holidays are re childcare but it sounds like you are focusing on trying to excuse your sons behaviour by blaming this IT worker.

Just focus on his behaviour and don't get sidetracked into blaming someone else for it as it won't solve the problem.

I think the club workers should have asked your son to apologise for the cheeky comment and left it there.

Gumby · 21/08/2012 21:56

Sounds a bizarre way to run a business
Im assuming you're now not paying for tomorrow's session so the school are missing out on the cash

My kids would delibewrerly play up so they could stay at home & I'd be forced not to go to work

thecatsminion · 21/08/2012 21:57

Hmm. It's like there's two different things that happened - the guy was staring and your son got told off for telling him not to and was overheard by the DH, or the technician was pulling faces and then they had the conversation about that. It just sounds a bit odd - surely the staring would be before rather than after the faces? And it doesn't sound bad enough to warrant being banned from the trip.

Are you sure your son hasn't embellished the bit about the IT technician in order to not get into more trouble at home? I'd maybe investigate his story a bit further before phoning the school. Or say that you're going to call the school to check and then see if the story changes.

thecatsminion · 21/08/2012 21:58

x post.

WorraLiberty · 21/08/2012 22:01

They're out of order for leaving you with no child care

But I don't think the IT tech has done anything wrong.

Part of the punishment of being put in time out/standing outside the Head's office/wherever...is that people will walk by and notice.

I remember cringing at the disappointed looks of some of the other members of staff when I was put in time out in the corridor...THAT was part of the consequence and I had to suck it up.

I would never have said to a member of staff "What are you looking at?"

It would be more than my life was worth!

ShiftyFades · 21/08/2012 22:25

I think the punishment the club are giving is ott.
I can visualise what happened between IT person and your DS and it's unfortunate that he was overheard. I expect DS was pissed off at being in time-out and this guy aggravated him.

Regardless of childcare issues, I agree that he should have just been made to apologise to IT probably through gritted teeth

YANBU and should raise it with them.
After all, this is holiday club, which is supposed to be fun and a bit more relaxed.
Oh, and make sure you don't pay / get a refund for tomorrow

Debeez · 21/08/2012 22:34

Was it

a) an IT technician has walked past my son a number of times pulling faces.

b) After this incident the IT technician walked past and in my sons words stared at him. He has asked him what are you looking at.

a) Tell your side of the story. Be prepared to find it may differ from what your son has told you.

b) Your son is to blame for this. If my son had asked an adult "What are you looking at" I'd be banning him from the trip myself.

Although the childcare is taking place within the school it is outside of school hours, therefore any childcare offered is at their discretion.

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