to ask what you all eat as a family?

[OhTheConfusion]

We had friends over for dinner tonight and DH cooked as I was working till 5.30 and he is a lucky so and so who is still on his summer holidays!

DH made us all (4 adults and 5 children... aged, 10, 9, 7, 6 and 11mths) chickpea, roast pepper, tomato and cumin stew with sliced rump of beef. Our three tucked in (including baby as made with no salt... only adult beef seasoned) whilst the others kind of poked their food and looked at us .

DH asked if they were ok and they replied 'we don't eat healthy food'. I was so flustered I didn't know what to say.

Please tell me not everyone eats pizza and chips seven nights a week?!? (this is what I dug out the freezer for them).

Well my family would have yummed it down and I would have thought 'thank goodness these people have made something my children will eat'. All children pretty much eat what they are used to and since we don't eat much processed food the DDs don't eat it when they go to parties, but a veggie stew or some meat would be very appreciated.

I'm with the (few) posters who think that if someone has gone to the work of making you a meal you should be polite and eat it. Can't believe the FATHER said 'we don't eat healthy food', if it was the kids it would be slightly amusing but honestly, do people have no manners these days? After all, you had asked if there was anything they didn't eat when you invited them.

I guess the trouble is everyone thinks what they cook is 'normal', e.g. everyone who is saying lasagne is more acceptable. Well, I rarely make it (I do love it but there are so many stages I've got out of the habit, bit like making quiche) and so I'm not going to make it for visitors on a weekday night. A quick veggie stew and some fried meat is going to be a lot quicker to make midweek IMHO.

Oh a favourite in my house with other people's kids (along with mine) is "make your own pizza". I use warburtons square wraps as bases, straight from the freezer, one per person. I whizz a can of tomatoes and reduce in the frying pan with oregano and some garlic powder and a squirt of tomato paste. Two or 3 dessertspoons spread on each base, by each kid. I'll put out bowls of sliced chorizo, sweetcorn, fried chicken slices, sliced mushrooms, sliced chillies (for DH and I), anything else lurking in the fridge and grated cheese. Everyone makes up their own and they take 10 mins in the oven. Admittedly I've never done it with other adults there too

All children pretty much eat what they are used to....

If only this were true! I have been a childcare professional for over 30 years and I can guarantee you that it does not follow that children will eat what they are "used to".

My own son is now 13 years old. From Birth to age around 8 he ate pretty much everything he was given. Now he doesn't eat meat, cooked vegetables - although he happily eats them raw, potatoes in any form, any fish (although he can be cajoled on this), cereal, milk, yoghurts, cheese, pasta, cottage pie, lasagne, brown bread..........the list is endless - all things that he happily ate previously. A roast dinner is his idea of hell!!!

My 11 year old eats everything and anything. He tries new foods regularly, eats olives, anchovies, all meat, all veggies, loves a roast dinner and the stronger the cheese the better.

I would not have eaten that when I was that age. I didn't eat unhealthy food but that meal is not very child friendly.

I agree nokidshere - My kids were raised on the same diet (there is only 13 months between them) but they have very different likes and dislikes and although they had a very varied (home cooked) diet as babies and toddlers, they turned really fussy and I am not prepared to deny my kids some food just cause they happen not to like what I have cooked. Made a rod for my own back maybe, but I don't like all foods and don't cook and eat food that I don't like so why would I do that to them?? I find that they are getting more adventurous again - I was similar as a child and existed on milk, cornflakes, cheese slices and eel (!!) for a few years :)

My seven year old son would have eaten it. My five year old would have eaten the beef, and picked the chickpeas out of the stew and had those, but left the tomatoey and red pepper bits. He doesn't do wet veg, if you see what I mean.

We have pizza and chips on a Friday. Smug food the rest of the time.

OP, your dinner sounds like the sort of thing I cook for my whole family. Always end up buying pizza or something when the DC's have friends round to stay, after the unfortunate tagine incident...

DD's friends were staying over, set of twins. I checked with their mum whether they ate mildly spicy food, and vegetables and lamb. She said they ate mild to moderately spicy food, and veg and lamb.

The twins ended up drinking 6 pints of milk between them, and having a cheese sandwich for dinner!

My idea of mildly spicy food (that I had fed to my then 3yo DS2 plenty of times, so wasn't that spicy) evidently does NOT match with other people's idea of mildly spicy food...

Tonight's dinner was Chinese 5 spice pork chops, rice and sweet corn.

Regular dinners here are tagine, chilli, stir frys, curries, slow cooked stews, barbecue brisket, hoisin ribs, shepherds pie, spag Bol, fish in 'special sauce' (stock based sauce), risotto, things like that. With lots of beans and lentils to pad things out.

Mine would have eaten the stew, not the beef (but that's only because we're veggie).

For other peoples kids I'd have put all the food on the table, added a bowl of mash and some peas and let people help themselves.

I have to say if one of the dcs have a friend home from school I do fall back onto pizza, garlic bread and cor on the cob for tea! I've not had a rejection yet (but there's still time).

I have a 7yo and a 3yo who would have wolfed it down, but you know what? That's because I have been blessed with children who just like eating.

I'd like to be smug about it, I really would. We eat a varied diet (lots of Spanish flavours in this house, just because that's what I like to eat and I do the bulk of the cooking.)

I am well aware however that it is just down to a combination of good luck and the fact that DH and I will pretty much eat anything. So must have good stomach genes or really bad tastebud genes or something that we have passed down.

We'd have eaten that (minus the beef). It sounds a lot like the sort of stuff we eat.

We don't eat any ready meal type things ever and the only processed foods we have in are bread, passata, pesto, tuna (for DH and DS) and the occasional Napolina tomato and basil pasta sauce for lazy days.

I do end up serving fishfingers and pizza if DD has friends over because anything more exciting than that, and many of them refuse to eat anything else, but I suspect that's because fish fingers taste the same in everyone's house and a lot of things (even simple stuff like spag bol) can taste different in different people's houses because everyone makes it slightly differently (unless you use a jarred sauce).

DD1 and I would wolf it down but DD2 not so much. Although I'm pretty sure she would try it, before saying she was 'full' I'm pretty lucky in that my DC will try different foods before saying they don't like it, that way they do eat most things.

We don't eat 'from the freezer' that much, but that's just because I don't like chicken dippers etc and I will only make one meal for all. (A mix of lazy and mean) But if they have friends over I generally do pizza as most kids like it.

We normally have pasta, stews, chicken in many forms, jacket spuds with various things and curries. I actually find it quicker and cheaper not just healthier.

That said, I don't care if others eat frozen stuff day in, day out, up to them innit.

OP, not meaning to out anyone but are you Annabel Karmel?

Is that the BBC good food chick pea, beef and cumin stew? I know it well.

YABU to assume that because they don't like that stew they only eat Pizza and unhealthy food,

My DC's wouldn't likely eat it though but they don't eat pizza either. They do however like smoked salmon, cottage pie, poached salmon, fresh pesto pasta, spaghetti and meatballs, steamed veg kind of stuff.

Cumin and chick peas - that's two of the key ingredients of hummus isn't it?

Sounds like a lovely meal to me OP, and I'm also with those who say it was rude of your (adult) guests not to even attempt it. Surely the whole family can't have had a deep seated hatred of pulses?

Christ alive. What happened to kids (and adults) being grateful for the food that is put in front of them and getting on with it. I would be mortified if my kids refused to eat food someone else had taken the time and trouble to cook for them. Chickpeas, peppers, tomatoes and beef is hardly sliced ducks intestine with chillis and pigs trotters is it?
You may be a little smug OP, and it may have been a wiser choice to go with cottage pie or lasagne, but still, your 'friends' are bloody rude IMHO. I'm sure they don't eat pizza and chips 7 days a week, but some people don't realise the importance of giving children a wide and varied selection of food.
Go to theirs next time, you'll be in for a treat!!!

I'd love what you cooked, the kids would eat the beef but not the stew because neither of them like whole chickpeas and OH would have eaten the stew only because he's veggie.

We eat lots of home made food, last night was chicken and spinach curry or vegetable curry both made from scratch. Tonight is chicken, ham and leek pie made from leftovers (veggie pie is from Linda McCartney).

When entertaining I tend to make either a pasta dish, curries or a roast dinner because that's what I find easiest.

It sounds lovely. My 7 year old would have loved it and my 18 month old would have eaten the stew but not the beef, because there would have been chewing involved!

Recently, two of my friends were saying to me "You're so lucky that your children will eat so many things, ours will never eat vegetables" abs I was explaining that mine do go through fussy phases and that when that happens they are just given something plain at mealtimes (pasta or rice for example) but with a bit of what we're having on the side. They both said "Oh, we couldn't do that because we don't eat with them."

Both these friends are excellent cooks who make healthy food that is made from scratch - but the kids sit down at 5pm and have something like pizza and then the adults have a 'proper' meal once the children are asleep. Each to there own, and I am can understand why that would be appealing sometimes, but it explained to me why their kids won't eat many foods. Also, saying "They never eat vegetables" or "they don't like healthy food" in front of the children (and lots of patents do) just reinforces it and makes an issue where there doesn't need to be one.

My tip for visiting children is always spag bol, garlic bread and salad - keep the pasta separate and the the fussiest child can eat plain pasta, maybe with a bit of parmesan if they are feeling adventerous! Also, I've never met a child that doesn't like garlic bread

I'd have eaten the food although it happens to put my most disliked flavours together, I'm not at all keen on tomatoes, peppers, cumin or chickpeas!
DH and DS1 would have eaten it, DS2 would have struggled tbh.

I do always ask guests what they don't eat before I prepare a meal though. At other people's house I would eat anything even if I really don't like it. The only exception is anything with chilli in it as I really can't physically cope eating that.

As a whole family, typical meals for us would be:
Lasagne
Homemade steak and mushroom pie (weight watchers recipe although no-one has spotted that yet, they all love it!)
Chicken fajitas
Spaghetti bolognese
Pork loin steaks with mustard, sour cream and gruyere
Chicken & chorizo
Roast chicken
Chicken and leek pie (made with leftover chicken)
Fish fingers (we all love them!)
Homemade pizza
Sausages & mash
Pasta with pesto (except DH who can't stand pasta)
Tandoori chicken drumsticks or breast kebabs
Mezze with olives, chorizo, hummus, pitta etc
Grilled chicken breast and jacket potatoes
Jacket potatoes with tuna/beans/cheese

When I meal plan we eat better food, when I don't we rely on freezer food a lot more.

I think it sounds lovely and would definitely have eaten it - although we don't really eat chickpeas in this house - occassionally in a Moroccan tagine etc.

DH would really have struggled, but would have tried his best out of politeness - he would have preferred just the beef. He likes what he calls "normal English food" - it's what he was brought up on - roast dinners, meat pie etc. He has got a lot better since I've known him (5 years) eg. he now eats peppers, lasagne, fahitas, but any "veggie" dish comprising of chickpeas/lentils would throw him.

DD (3.4) would try it I reckon. She's about average I'd say - she likes her plain foods but will try new stuff - especailly if we are going "Oh isn't this delicious!"

We have had 2 lots of friends round with their young dc recently. One we did make your own pizzas and the other we did a homemade quiche, roast ham joint, cheeses, breads, salad, pasta salad, rice salad - I think a picnic type meal is good beause people can pick at whatever they like, no-one feels awkward because no-one really knows what everyone had! I have also done roast dinners - but I'd check that the family like the meat as it's easy to change beef to chicken - a surprising amount of people don't eat beef I've found.

To answer your original question, I'd say as a family we are fairly middle of the road. We cook from scratch about 3/7 days, 2/7 would be oven chips/chicken kiev/fish fingers etc and 2/7 would be homemade but using a jar/packet etc. We don't eat puddings except fruit, which I think tips the balance into 'healthy' for us

digestives I agree, visiting children are often given lasagne, garlic bread and salad. Normally failsafe.

I also agree lots about eating together, we don't always manage it but do about 4-5 times a week. If DH is going to be really late in, sometimes I eat with the kids, sometimes I eat with him. There is a lot to be said for eating together.

I'm just thoroughly impressed that your husband could cook that. My hubby only cooks fast stuff like omlettes, homemade oven chips with egg and sausage, fish and veg, stir fry's, pizza. When I am at home I cook homemade spag bol, pasta bakes, roasts, stews, chilli, cottage pies - takes forever but as hubby doesn't always cook stuff with veg I like to make sure that the kids get their greens in them. So wish my hubby would cook more healthily and then my weekends would free up (hubby only works part time). My kids would not have eaten that so I may have either asked or cooked something seperate that I knew all the children would like and left the chickpea beef dish for the adults. .

We just eat a range of food and DD eats the same as us.

To be fair - we probably don't have things like chickpea though as Dh doesn't like it and, even though I don;t eat meat, I am not overly keen. DH and DD both like their meat.

We do enjoy thinks like pizza and chips occasionally and other "fast food" type options but it isn't our daily food. We eat roasts, fish, seafood, salads, casseroles, cottage/shepherds pie, fajitas, pasta, ...you name it really.

We have friend's children round a lot of almost all eat what they are given - no really fussy ones other than for true allergies.

I'll just tell you what's on our menu this week and you can judge me as you see fit !

Monday - Homemade Lamb Madras with Pilau rice and some naan bread from the indian takeaway opposite us

Yesterday - Cold beef & ham salad with mashed potato, homemade bread, coleslaw, pickles, a quinoa salad and a giant couscous salad from M&S

Today - Tuna steak with honey, ginger and spring onions with noodles, choi sum and pak choi followed by mirabelle clafoutis. DD (2) will have lemon sole instead of tuna but she will eat the rest.

Tomorrow - Baked Crepes canneloni with cheese sauce. DD will eat at my Mum's while we are at work

Friday - Salmon & spinach "wellington" with parmentier potatoes and eton mess for pudding. DD will have a bit of this but will probably have the other lemon sole fillet which is her favourite thing.

Saturday - Spaghetti Bolognaise with homemade focaccia if I have the inclination time. DD will eat this. Might make a creme brulee for pudding as I have a lot of egg yolks to use up

Sunday - Roast Turkey. DD loves this.

For lunch I have a weightwatchers meal at work.