If school do this to DD are they BU?

[Downnotout]

I am fuming about this- though it may not happen, but it's been implied.

DD is about to start Y6. She was awarded House Captain for the coming year (final year) at the end of last term.

Over the summer she has auditioned for, and won a hard fought for place at Theatre School in London. We are going to move her after Christmas. This is a dream come true for her.

I have to give a terms notice and out of decency to her current school I have spoken to them today, before the start of term, to let them know what was happening. I didn't want them opening a letter from the theatre School before I had chance to tell them.

The gist of it is that while they are pleased for her and I shouldn't feel guilty at all , they will have to decide what to do about the House Captaincy. I said "you wouldn't strip her of it would you?" and they said it would have to be discussed.

Now, there are only 3 girls, and no boys left, in the house this year group. House Captain= Sports Captain. The other 2 girls are newish to the school (1 year and 2 years) which precludes them from HC. Also DD is on all sports teams/ swimming team, they are not. DD was, in fact, the only option for HC.

DD will be DEVASTATED if they replace her. Although I know they will have to at some point. I just hadnt expected them to say that. I wish now I hadn't said anything and had just handed in my notice on the first day of term and not given them chance to think about it. It will taint her final term there and I feel they will be punishing her, when it is me and DH who have made this decision. AIBU to be upset- or are they just being awkward because we're leaving 2 terms early?

It isn't my rule about how long you've been there.

Only 3 in her house in her year. All the others have left over the years. The other houses are bigger but it's still a small school.

Could you preempt it a bit with your dd and perhaps sell the idea of her "handing in her notice" as it were at the beginning of term. Give her the sense of passing on the title rather than being dropped.

I do see the schools point of view but this could be a good way of teaching your dd about things not always being how you want without it feeling like a rejection.

Well the fact that being accepted to this school is her "dream come true" should cushion the blow and I think that's how you should deal with it. Yes dd it's a bit rubbish but look at the amazing opportunity you have now etc.

Well I think they are being mean.

It's like you handing in your notice at work and then coming in the next day to find you've been moved into the corridor, and someone new given your desk, when you're not even gone yet.

I think they should let her do it for the first term and then choose someone else to take over after that. If she won it for a reason those reasons are still valid. At 11 there won't be any 'long term responsibility' involved in the position but if the position has already been awarded and then is being taken away I think it's meanness.

Like I said. She doesn't know anything about this so she isn't having a strop or being a diva.

I said she will be devastated because she is very serious about her responsibility and was really proud to be given HC. She also thought she was auditioning for a Y7 place at the other school but because of other circumstances we are dealing with at home we have made the decision to move her sooner.

I can now see the schools point of view, but TBH it hadn't crossed my mind. It's my fault really.

Thanks clown that is sort of how I felt.

I don't they are BU. It may be that your DD will not mind as much as you think, she is moving on to go somewhere else and! I imagine, she is thrilled about it. If she thinks you are upset about this then this may influence how she feels.

Did she understand when she got the role that there were not really any other 'candidates' ? If she did then she may not be as proud as you think she is.

So sorry, but YABU, but I hope everything goes well for your DD