Money

[oxford1972]

I am feeling quite cross wih dh at moment. Not sure if IABU.
Dh has a good job and has achieved a good pay rise this year. However, he is always moaning about how his money just goes and he has very little savings etc. I am a sahm and tbf I do have long term savings in my own name. Mainly old Tessa and ISA money from when I worked so situation not dire.
Plus he is paying £350 a month into a pension in his name.
He is always saying things like "we" need to economise on groceries (I buy) but never on Sky or Football (his choice)
Also in the last few months he has probably spent some £300 on treats for him and dc. The latest being a 2 day theme park weekend. (fine I had a free weekend (a blessing at 37 weeks pregnant) and it was actually fairly cheap.
However upon coming home dc told me how dh had spent some £40 on toys etc for dc. £30 alone being on 3 tiny bits of plastic and a cuddly toy for youngest dd.
This makes it really hard for me especially with the youngest as she seems to demand something every time we go out. I am frugal and very rarely give in.
Obviously I am not prevented from getting things I need or things dc need. However, sometimes I just wish he was more careful.
Plus sometimes I do get the whole "what are you spending my money on? " which is wrong.
Sorry bit long

YANBU but you do need to agree how to manage money. DH and I have a joint account that we both pay into and keep separate accounts as well. I think he runs a car he can't really afford and I buy Estee Lauder regardless of how much money I'm making (self-employed). It works for us.

If it's not working, try something different.

my husband and i also have different spending priorities and i've come to realise that it doesn't necessarily make either of us wrong.

i think the fairest way is to work out essential, non discretionary spending and then see whats left and split it. Or at least have a certain amount of money each per month to spend on what you like.

my husband is pretty easy going, so i overlook the odd expensive car he buys which i think is a total waste. he also works longer hours than me. you need to work out how much of a deal breaker this is for you.

I couldn't handle that at all, if it really bothers you make a list of everything you spend any money on at all, and get him to do the same, put teh lists together and go through them as a couple asking what you could economise on. He might have a shock. I know that my DH doesn't think he's extravagent but the bits he needs for his bikes, his new work shirts, his fresh coffee beans etc don't half mount up!