to not want to go to this anniversary party...

[SteelTownGirl]

DH has a former colleague who, TBH, neither one of us have ever liked much - bit of a social climber, one-upmanship merchant. The other day we received this awful invite from him and his DW - to their 40th anniversary party...it shows on the front two ancient teddy bears (presumably the happy couple's own) in an embrace with some "cutesy" remark like "after all these years we're still cuddling..." On the back a photo of the two of them in matching hiking outfits. Even DH who is far less judgmental than me found it toe-curling - they're in their 60s for God's sake. He even said, "oh God, it'll be me-me-me or should I say us-us-us if we go".
Problem is we know roughly who the other invitees will be and fear it will look a bit "obvious" if we don't go & a bit awkward for DH as he still has minor professional contact with the guy.
Any ideas re wriggling out of it gracefully? How do you deal with these "look at us aren't we marvellous" couples?

Go. Or don't go. If you go just smile sweetly - after all it's only for one evening!

I'm sure that you mentioned that it was your grandmothers 90th birthday on that exact same day!! I'm sure you can think of an excuse. YANBU to not want to go, YANBU to not go, YwouldBU if you were rude about it

AIBU harbouring these negative feelings about these people? They've never really done me any harm, I just find them irritating.

Perhaps treat it as a networking kind of event and try and find someone nice to talk to? These things can surprise you, it's happened to me a couple of times.

I've a friend (who I like!) but whose family can be very up themselves. She had a big party for a significant birthday to which I went, not expecting a hugely good time (e.g. her SIL has met me at least 10 times but will still not say Hello to me as I don't fit in...but that's another story)

30 mins into the party her old school friends spotted me across the room, I'd met them once, we talked, shrieked and drank champers all night and had a ball. (including dragging my friend onto the dance floor at the end of the night for a mad bop for about an hour while the po faced in laws sat there all judgey)

Although the invite does sound grim - any chance you can put a pic of it on your profile without getting caught out

Don't go, make up an excuse. You're not obliged to do it.

I wouldn't want people who didn't like me at my party anyway, why would you go?

It happens to be my Dad's birthday the following week so I have that up my sleeve as it were....

Just say you are already busy - nothing obvious about that surely?

Oh go, it'll give you both something to laugh about on the long winter nights coming up

Quite honestly, it is them celebrating their anniversary, they are entitled to it being all about them.

If you can't stomach that then don't go.

YANBU cite a prior engagement if you don't want to go.

Don't go UNLESS it is professionally advantageous for your DH to maintain contact.

I wasn't aware people had to give reasons to decline invitations?

If it was postal invitation, send a postal declination

To tell you the truth I feel a bit mean for posting in the first place now - think I just wanted to let off steam about the style of the invite...will discuss with DH and if he feels it might be more diplomatic to go we will go, but no, you're right, we don't have to give reasons. Thanks, all, for your advice xx