my daughters friend stole money

[kelanne]

My daughters friend 'L' stole 10 pounds from friend 'S' I have told my daughter and friend 'L' that she is not allowed in my house until she pays back the 10 pounds and also owns up to 'S' parent.

The reason i said this is because 'L' told me it fell out of her pocket. i later found out this is not true. and she spent it on sweets and soft drink at the shop. she was sleeping at my house that night. As she has stolen money i can't trust her in my house. If she can own up to it, maybe i could trust her a bit.
Or am i being a bit over the top

No, you're not and frankly I'd tell her parents myself so they can nip it in the bud.

How ole are they?

Are you sure her mum didn't send her with any cash?

Or even how old!!!

What is your evidence that she stole the money

on is 13 the other 14,

lady: 'L' had said in the shop i'm going to spend her fucking money i'm pissed of with her i don't care. i know this because they had taken my friends 10 year old with them. the 10 year old told me when no one was around. i then spoke to my daughter alone. and they both said the same thing.

Could 'her' mean 'L's ' mum?? Why would she be pissed off with you?

lol, im confused already. 'L' stole money from 'S' i have told 'L' she need to own up to 'S's mum.

or should i just say to pay her back the 10 pounds? is that as good as owning up?

The question was: How can you be sure L's mum didn't give L the £10?

What if L meant she was pissed off with her mum?

hi no 'L' meant she was pissed of 'S' who's tenner it was.

I would tell L you know she has stolen and tell her to give it back. If they were younger I would just go straight to the parents, but at that age hopefully the fact that you confront her will shame her into doing the right thing.

I'm struggling to understand...how do you know 100% that the money was stolen? Where is your evidence?

I'm a bit confused, but if ou are absolutely sure she stole money, then too right ou shouldn't have her in your house!

YANBU In a situation where you are sure someone is a thief, it is not unreasonable to tell them you don't want them in your house in order to protect your property. When that person is a child you should be thinking if there are also ways you can help them get on the right track. Showing her how serious it is, the break down in trust, how it makes her less pleseant to be around; along with a clear path for taking responsibility and setting things right seems like a good approach. So I don't think you are being OTT at all. You might also talk to your daughter about it a bit. She's probably feeling a bit caut in the middle and might be confused about loyalties to her friend and you.

I'm not sure why people are expecting you to have some kind of court case to establish guilt. You heard what sounded like a clear confession to you and two witnesses confirmed. I think that's enough to act on. You aren't talking about giving her a criminal record or throwing her prison.

thanks, namegames. Yes i have spoken to my daughter. i did tell her that i did not want her hanging around with people who steal. but then i realised they have the same group of friends and i could be isolating my daughter by stopping her. But i have spoken to her about keeping her stuff safe and not to leave things laying around when she is with her.