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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To love not sleeping with dh

24 replies

ThisIsNotHoneyDragon · 20/08/2012 00:12

Its 38 degrees and I have a whole king size bed to starfish in

I have visited dh in his pit and done something very rude said goodnight.

Now I have Mnet, a breeze from the window and no stupidly hot sweaty men in bed with me.

I am so damn not being unreasonable

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 20/08/2012 00:17

My DH knows not to touch me, breath on me or even put his head on so much as an inch of my pillow on these hot nights

I was only saying to him today how much I miss cuddling up on cold winter nights.

He said he misses being 'welcome' in our bed

kitsonkittykat · 20/08/2012 00:19

I haven't slept in the same room as my chronic snoring dh in years. We have separate bedrooms, and I love it. I sleep much better now.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 20/08/2012 00:20

My poor DP came into bed for a cuddle and got greeted with "don't touch me, it's too hot and I'm gonna barf" then I did

Luckily he is used to my heat intolerance so just turned the fan up and kissed my shoulder before going back to his work.

Original poster

ThisIsNotHoneyDragon · 20/08/2012 00:21

See for once I cannot BU on the separate sleeping arguement. It's too hot for people to enjoy snuggling [grin

OP posts:

Catsdontcare · 20/08/2012 00:24

Am also sleeping in the spare room tonight. Tis great. I'm gradually increasing the excuses to sleep here to include heat, illness (either me or dh) and if one of the dc's is unwell I sleep here "just in case" they need to get in with me in the night. I'm also starting to come in here half way through the night if I'm not sleeping well.

SkipTheLightFanjango · 20/08/2012 00:25

Kitson has your dh been checked out about his snoring? I only ask as dp used to sound like a freight train and had to sleep downstairs (we could still hear him from upstairs even with the doors shut). He has sleep apnoea and had surgery to remove restrictions in the airway..he now only snores a little. Sorry did not mean to hijack thread .
OP you are a lucky lady..dp wants to spread out..which means I end up with arms and legs on my side of the bed and often end up in about 1 foot of bedspace just to keep away from his sweaty limbs! Roll on the cooler nights!

WorraLiberty · 20/08/2012 00:25

We snuggle on the sofa and often have sex on it before bed

But once we're in bed if he so much as sweats in my direction, he's on the floor with the dog

He's on night shift this coming week thank fuck so it's not a problem.

kitsonkittykat · 20/08/2012 00:32

Skip no he hasn't been checked out for the snoring. Getting that man to the doctor is almost impossible. Ive suggested he goes and gets it checked out, as he wakes people up who are in other rooms of the house, but he just will not go.
I might try and persude him again, if that is the case...To be honest I don't know if Ild want to sleep back in the same bed again anyway. I like having my own room and bed too much!

BreconBeBuggered · 20/08/2012 00:33

Mine went upstairs about an hour ago. He'll have warmed up all my side of the bed in the search for a cool spot to lay his head. Should I leave the bastard?

WorraLiberty · 20/08/2012 00:34

Brecon do you even need to ask?

Original poster

ThisIsNotHoneyDragon · 20/08/2012 00:38

Dd is in her with me at the moment. At some point she'll need more room . It will be a few years before we can afford to move. However Ds has already said he wants to share with his sister in my room as it's huge

I am very pleased about this. As much as I love dh I cannot share a bed with him.

OP posts:

TheDetective · 20/08/2012 00:39

DP knows his place. And that place is in the corner of the bed. Facing away from me. With separate blankets.

If a bodily fluid so much as touches me, there is hell to pay. Grrrrrrrr.

Don't get me started on breathing.....

WorraLiberty · 20/08/2012 00:42

It will be a few years before we can afford to move

Do you have dependency issues or something?

Move your DH into the garden with a tent

If you don't have a garden, buy a large flower box and let him camp in that.

Honestly, he needs to know his place....

SkipTheLightFanjango · 20/08/2012 00:47

Kitson does he ever stop snoring then snore really loudly? If so it could be sleep apnoea..he really should be checked out. Get him to google it.. that would make him go! Heavy snoring is somtimes a sign of things going wrong with the airways, it can be very serious! On the other hand it was nicer for me as he had to sleep on the sofa..he's a pain now that he's quiter, getting rid of sleep apnoea and snoring does not stop them fucking bed hogging!!!!

JustSpiro · 20/08/2012 00:53

Love this thread!

Dh went to bed about an hour ago so I will probably have to heft him over onto his side when I go up shortly.

I would love to have my own bedroom on a permanent basis (my parents always have done as DDad used to work bizarre hours as a postie so doesn't seem odd to me).

However, we have just moved DD into the big room and the littlest bedroom (study-to-be) is currently a shit tip storage room.

We do have a very comfy reclining sofa though - I often end up on here overnight when the weather is cooler - log burner, fluffy blanket, TV, hot toddy - delightful!

Softlysoftly · 20/08/2012 00:54

Skip you are freaking me out now!

Came on all prepared to whinge that DD2 is up bf to sleep again as DHs heavy snorts keep waking her and will until we sort out the suitcases (just got back) from his shittip bedroom, plus warn sweaty dd1 will demand to clamber in any 2nd.

But you've derailed my moan with worry!

kitsonkittykat · 20/08/2012 01:05

Its like steady loud NRRRRRRRR NRRRRRR then a half panicked sounding inward SNOOORT...silence....then NRRRRRR NRRRRR with increased vigor. He is, however, very overweight at the moment, I thought it was just neck fat..

fortifiedwithtea · 20/08/2012 01:14

YANBU . I totally agree. DH working every other week in Germany. Roll-on morning flight. 4 night ahead of me to starfish in our lovely king-sized bed. Yippee!!!!

SkipTheLightFanjango · 20/08/2012 01:48

Sorry Softly. It's just that heavy snoring often goes hand in hand with this and too many people are left undiagnosed as snoring is seen as normal, it is it's the pauses that are th problem. Did not mean to worry people

Kabooooom · 20/08/2012 02:00

DP usually gets in a grump during the warm weather when we go to bed and he tries to snuggle and I tell him to feck off he is too hot and to give me some space. He can't sleep without being covered no matter what the weather when I will sleep on top of the quilt, next to all 3 opened windows with barely anything on and still complain it's too hot.

Like always, he also snores. And grinds his teeth every bastard night without fail. It is almost like he is eating fresh air in between the snores. When I can't sleep and end up laying and listening, I get very tempted to get a permanent marker and draw on his face for entertainment.

Leena49 · 20/08/2012 06:20

Well you may have seen my thread about me buying a king sized bed and it not being big enough. Ideally I would love my own bedroom. DH would think we were on the slippery slope to divorce if we did that.

Original poster

ThisIsNotHoneyDragon · 20/08/2012 07:52

Leena.... Dh was like that at first. Now he's realised a lot of his man friends are jealous as he can stay in bed and watch what he wants on tv without being told to switch it off.

Another colleague once found out, looked at dh wistfully and went "you mean you don't have to spoon? Ever?"

It's like the unwritten rule of modern society, as an adult you must not admit you dislike sharing your sleeping space.

OP posts:

whois · 20/08/2012 11:07

My DP has a SuperKing which is bliss compared to the standard double we used to have a my house. We can both sleep without to touching each other, and can both lie on our sides facing opposite sides and not disturb each other.

He still complains it's too small though! We can fit three pillows across. I get one pillow... DP gets 2 pillows width because the bed isn't long enough so he lies a little diagonal. Says the bed is too small now I love with him.

PinsAndNoodles · 20/08/2012 12:55

I sent DP to Boots to investigate something something for his snoring after I ended up spending the night in a toddler bed as a preferably alternative. He came back with some snoring spray which actually seems to be working, miraculous!

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