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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a quite disgusted by the latest episode of Midwives?

62 replies

EnterWittyNicknameHere · 19/08/2012 21:36

Not because of the vajayjays or anything, but because of the narration, sly camera shots and the constant comparisons between rich and poor.

Basically the episode was based in an area (Wissol? or something like that i think) where there is apparantly an obvious divide in social classes.

On the west side were the fancy mansions and business-people; on the east were the lower class: benefit claimants, single parents, teenage pregnancies basically every sterotypical lower class trait.

The narrator sounded extremelly belittling e.g. when introducing Bruce and his partner (Danielle, i think), he spoke very slowly and in short sentences, as if trying to empthasise each detail. This is their third child. (long pause). They are both unemployed. (long pause). They don't have a working cooker. (Long pause).

And then came all the random camera shots of close-ups of Danielle's unpampered hands (bad nails, cuts etc) which had nothing to do with the narration. Close ups of her bad teeth. Lots of shots of their home. And then it showed Bruce constantly playing rave/dance music.

I just found the episode really horrible and unsettling. There was a constant comparison between the likes of Bruce's family and the 'middle class' on the opposite side of the area. These people had opted for homebirths, hypnobirths, were married, were wealthy, were business folk.

I thought it was all totally stereotypical and generalising. As if to say all people on the East side had social workers, ate bad diets, were on benefits, were teenage mums; all people on the West were wealthy, had great homes, all had jobs, had perfect lives.

Just made me feel a bit shitty tbh. Know idea why though! Maybe because i'm an oversensitive twat?

OP posts:
imsotired · 19/08/2012 22:19

i watched this one with my 8 year old who has begun to ask questions.

I'm glad i did, she was horrified at the people having a cooker in the bathroom) she missed the point about it not being working) and we had a surreal conversation about how she would be able to make her cakes while she was in the bath!

she did seem to 'get' that it was better to have children when you have everything settled rather than a house that was disrupted.

we dont have a very posh house, we have a third hand sofa ( its in great nick because its so uncomfortable to sit on - no one uses it!) but we dont have holidays, but we do have a cooker that works!

fedupofnamechanging · 19/08/2012 22:28

Obviously the programme makers had their own agenda and wanted to portray a social divide, so selected their families with that in mind, but the fact remains that they could only do this because those families exist.

Tbh, I can't see anything wrong in a midwife advising a woman not to have any more babies, when she is already bringing up three that she cannot afford or care for properly, as it is.

The middle class families didn't escape implied judgement - they were shown as a bit neurotic and a bit silly at times.

I thought the young girl who was struggling to bond was filmed very sympathetically.

Goofymum · 19/08/2012 22:38

The shitty thing is, as others have said, is that this divide is very real. It compared a typical family (male, female and 2 kids) from the eastside and a typical family (male, female and 2 kids) from the westside. Both had a very calm and quiet water birth. Why shouldnt the midwife say 'no more babies' to the eastside couple? She can see that they clearly cannot afford to bring any more babies into the world, in terms of money and space. It would be worse if she'd have said "see you in 12 months". Now that would have been stereotyping.

pippala · 19/08/2012 22:41

Viperidae I agree with you re the doula effectively delivering the baby!
It is in fact illegal for a doula to do this and against the Doula UK boundaries and code of conduct. Although I hear MANY stories of BBA - babies born before arrival of the midwife but the doula having been with the women for most of the labour.
I don't for one minute believe that the doula Ann delivered the baby, the Mum did that herself in the pool. However I feel that the doula was certainly putting herself as more important to the women than the two midwives.
This is exactly why there is a divide between midwives and doulas.
Why should the two fully qualified midwives be told to sit in the kitchen whilst the doula supported her client? I guess the mother and the doula would have preferred an unassisted birth but made use of the NHS as a safe guard should they be needed.

Sarahbump1 · 19/08/2012 22:50

It does make me laugh - people hate the new midwives programme and love OBEM.

This is because the new programme shows the truth - and OBEM shows just the fluffy censored lovely parts that people want to see.

I much prefer the new programme - a much truer representation of the work of midwives .

And in response to the OP the programme was shot the way it was to show the divide between social classes and how things can be so different for families going through the same thing. IYSWIM.

It was just stating facts . The narrator was just stating the facts- they didn't have a cooker - poor diet does cause low iron levels - they lived on take always which probably didn't include leafy greens etc etc . I could go on but will probably get flamed

Sarahbump1 · 19/08/2012 22:51

Oh and the doula didn't deliver - the second midwife was in the room . Doula's are NOT midwives or medically trained . They are birth partners to offer support only

Bue · 19/08/2012 22:52

I don't think the second midwife was there, was she? They both ran up the stairs.

Growlithe · 19/08/2012 22:55

I live on the Wirral and I wasn't surprised by the points they were making on this programme. Its not quite as clear cut as the peninsula being split by the M53, but you can be driving through an affluent area and within 5 minutes be in a deprived area.

Health statistics show a 15 year male life expectancy gap between the rich and the poor in Wirral.

The nearest town centre to me is Birkenhead. It is awful. I'm no snob, I was brought up on a council estate in Liverpool. I don't want to walk my DCs through Birkenhead town centre though. Everyone smokes. You can't meet anyone's eye for fear of a kick off. I once saw 2 middle aged women fist fighting in M&S. It is truly intimidating.

I'm sure they could have shown a bit of 'middle ground' in the programme, but the point of the episodes was to show the extremes, and they did point out that the women from the poorer areas were more able to accept and get on with things after their babies were born.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 19/08/2012 22:55

No, she was on her own with the doula.

But she's entitled to do that isn't she? I thought the midwives were there for if she had a problem, it came across as if she'd been half hoping to do without them if she could.

I'm sure she was a perfectly nice lady but she irritated me a bit. Gorgeous house though. Envy

Sarahbump1 · 19/08/2012 22:56

She was already in the room . It was the first midwife , camera crew and husband that were out of the room. The husband had gone for a wee!

The second midwife was sat by the pool with her gloves on so she was there at delivery .

pigletmania · 19/08/2012 23:03

Omg the businesswomen and her 'surges' I think that the mw probably had a little chuckle afterwards. Oh dear putting a dirty mop buckt into the pool, that will not do, I thought she would spontaneously combust. Why shoud the taxpayer be responsible for getting Daniel and Bruce a cooker, aren't as adults responsible for themselves. If they can't get a cooker no can they look after 3 kids, sorry priorities.

Bue · 19/08/2012 23:07

I just checked - Sarah's right. The second midwife was there. The first one said to the dad "Anthony, we missed it." That's alright then, I actually hate the woman slightly less now Grin

Re Bruce and Danielle, their midwife seemed very understanding, so I'm sure she knew they didn't want any more children, hence the comment. But even if she didn't, they couldn't properly look after the ones they already had, so why on earth shouldn't she broach the subject of not having more?

ReallyTired · 19/08/2012 23:08

"But she's entitled to do that isn't she? I thought the midwives were there for if she had a problem, it came across as if she'd been half hoping to do without them if she could."

It is illegal for an qualfied person to deliver a baby unless its an emergency. Yes, a woman can choose to have an unassisted birth, but an unqualfied person can be proscuted for delivering the baby.

www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-473576/Freebirthing-Should-women-birth-alone.html

I was under the impression that the two midwives were downstairs while the baby was delivered.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 19/08/2012 23:10

Ah, I see really, thanks.

I thought the second midwife wasn't there but I obviously wasn't watching closely enough.

AmINearlyThereYet · 19/08/2012 23:11

The message I got from it was that the midwives "preferred" the East side mothers, not least because they were less precious and just got on with things. And at the end that nice Scottish midwife said something about all the trappings of live being just froth and everyone being basically the same, whatever their circumstances: "they all have to come out the same way in the end". Agree about the girl who was finding it hard to bond being portrayed very sympathetically.

Sarahbump1 · 19/08/2012 23:19

Yes it is illegal for an unqualified person to deliver a baby - and if the midwives would have let the doula do it they would have been in for it too!

BadDayAtTheOrifice · 19/08/2012 23:27

Even if the doula was the only one attending at the birth doesn't mean she 'delivered' the baby, the mother did that and the mother just has to lift the baby out of the water!

I think the programme was just trying to show te diversity of people the midwives meet and their different expectations and needs.

I'm enjoying this programme more than OBEM because its more from the mw's perspective but they haven't shown them under much 'pressure' yet. They should come to my local maternity unit to demonstrate that.

OhDearNigel · 19/08/2012 23:33

I much prefer the new programme - a much truer representation of the work of midwives .

My SIL is a midwife and said exactly this. She hated OBEM but has enjoyed this so far, she works in a town with serious social deprivation so no doubt this episode felt familiar

helenthemadex · 19/08/2012 23:54

it didn't make very comfortable viewing because it showed the social divide very clearly

That's what community midwifery is like, one minute you can be in the home of a barrister the next a 22 year old with her 5th child. I have worked in both, one area filled with professionals and one very deprived area both had their challenges and rewards.

ImperialBlether · 20/08/2012 00:36

I live on the Wirral and have never heard anyone talk about an east or west side.

Any hospital will draw from a wide area and that area will inevitably be composed of poor and rich.

Was it filmed at the Liverpool Women's?

BuntyCollocks · 20/08/2012 08:03

As far as I recall, she said 'no more babies' to Bruce and Danielle because Danielle herself had said that was her done.

I think the other midwife was teasing the 'posh' lady as she'd said the baby before Charlie was her last, and 18 months later, out pops Charlie.

I don't see a problem with either comment tbh.

BuntyCollocks · 20/08/2012 08:06

Imperial - filmed at Arrowe park.

TroublesomeEx · 20/08/2012 08:08

Some areas are like this.

As much as we might not like to admit it on MN, there are some areas that fulfil lots of these stereotypes on both sides of the fence.

People who are educated and affluent tend to make choices either because they believe they are the right choices, or because they like what they think those choices will say to other people about them.

People who are uneducated and poor, live in areas of deprivation and huge social problems tend to 'attract' disadvantage simply because that is what surrounds them, it is their experience which then drives their aspiration and it can be very hard to get out of it. None of the problems exist in isolation.

But yes, they did show that the women who have none of the fancy stuff just get on with it and manage to have their babies perfectly well in contrast to the MC mummies who need every 'approach' and bit of support going.

So yes, lots of comparisons and contrasts, but I think it probably depends on your own position how you perceive it.

FlamingoBingo · 20/08/2012 08:16

Re. The doula issue. He thing is that there are wonderful midwives and there are abysmal midwives, just like in any profession. The safest option for birthing is to have a brilliant midwife, but it's far less safe to have a shite one who's going to keep interfering and causing problems. In this situation it makes sense to have them on stand by only and to have a doula alongside you if all is going well.

I had a reasonable midwife with my first baby but even she caused problems with the birth. I had an independent midwife with my second, and the birth was safe but very unpleasant for me thanks to her insisting on various things.

My third and fourth births were attended by an amazing nhs midwife who did nothing unless I asked, and those births were the safest, and the most pleasant for me.

If I couldn't have had her or another midwife as wonderful as her, I would seriously have considered an experienced doula and a midwife who I insisted stayed in the corner of the room with her mouth shut! (all home births, btw)

ditavonteesed · 20/08/2012 08:31

I am loving it, although I havent seen this episode yet. Refering to contractions as surges comes from an american Midwive called Ina May Gaskin who has written many books and done a lot for american women having choices as birth is horrendously medicalised in America.

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