in spending money we don't have to go and see my father?

[Alliwantisaroomsomewhere]

My dad lives 6,000 miles from us - well, I moved away and now have a family 6,000 from him! Mum died a few years ago. Dad will be 80 next year and I am worried that if we don't see him again soon (we saw him last 4 years ago) that we will run out of time and never see him again. He is not ill, but is getting on a bit!

We do not have enough savings for me, DH and DS to go. I don't want to go without them. I do have credit available to me use, though, to pay for our tickets to see him.

WIBU to put myself (further) in (manageable) debt to see him again? I am scared of spending money I don't have and scared of never seeing him again.

Bit of a dilemma. He has suggested that I fly him to us, but there are other people that I would also like to see. Also, if he came over he would come with his partner and they would in all likelihood spend most of their time here with her daughter.

AIBU in wanting to spend the money to go and see him?

My dad is 82, so I have the same worries about how much longer he will be here. Luckily we live only 20 minutes away, in your shoes I would be getting increasingly fretful. I think you can't put a price on your need for a visit. You have to go. It is only money. How would your DH feel if it were his parents??

Diddl, I like Dh being with me, too! No need to be . I do not want to go without him. Many years ago (pre DS) I went over for 2 weeks without him and I hated being away from him for so long. In fact, I think DS was conceived the day I returned .

Yanbu

Try talking to your DH again and explain why you want to go.
If you can pay it back then I think you should go rather than regreting it.
However if he doesn't want to go then you may have to go by yourself, not the end of the world and you will still see your dad.
Shop around and look for the best deals and so on as well. Some places are cheaper if you book way in advance. Also if your DS is little you could go cheaper in school time etc.

Oh and YANBU, and I would want to take my DH too in your shoes. However if he couldn't go or didn't want to I would go without him, because I wouldn't want to regret not seeing my dad.

Thanks so much for the support and replies. DH was hot and tired today. I know he will be fine about it on another day. Will talk about it again in a few weeks.

I think your DH is childish. He should prioritise your need to see your dad, whether alone, with your dc, or all three of you. Seeing your dad is the most important. Spend the money. But equally you should have the option of not taking your DH without him getting upset about it if you don't want to go into debt.

If your father is 80 then I'd have thought your son would be a bit old to be crying over not getting a trip to Oz and if he's a little kid I wouldn't have involved him in the discussion and waited until he was in bed. If you can't afford to go as a family then you can't afford it. Go alone. If your discomfort at being away from your husband for 2-3 weeks is greater than your discomfort at not seeing your dad for several years then don't go, or tolerate his partner and your stepsister for a few weeks when they come to see you.

Well circs have changed for me & dad is no longer able to come to us so I now mostly do the travelling alone.

So you have moved to your husband´s country to be with him?

I do think that he doesn´t sound very understanding.