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Original poster

To think this shouldn't be asked in an interview

28 replies

MangawhaiHeads · 19/08/2012 07:16

My friend recently started job hunting and was told about a particular job by a recruitment agent. The company in question were really interested in her after seeing her CV and she had a first interview last week. During the course of it the interviewer said 'I am probably not allowed ask/this is probably illegal but are you a mum?' When my friend said yes there wasn't any issue, on the contrary lots of positive things said about working mums. She was invited back for a second interview where her motherhood was again brought up, again in a positive way. She learned this week that she didn't get the job which is really disappointing for her, she has all the experience and her qualifications are spot on. She had had a great vibe from both interviews but now is concerned that the company was put off by the fact that she has a two year old and may well have another. I don't know but am I wrong to think that your family situation should not come up in an interview?

OP posts:
LadyEmmaHamilton · 19/08/2012 07:28

There are roundabout ways of asking the question so it's not so obvious, but yes, it's illegal to discriminate on this basis. If you friend genuinely thinks that this made a difference, it's possible that she could take it further, but I'm not sure what the point would be. Does she want to work for such a backwards organisation.

However, I do think it's worth raising with the agency. They can raise it in a "x very disappointed not to get the job and we're disappointed to hear that you appear to be discriminating in your interview process" sort of a a way.

DolomitesDonkey · 19/08/2012 07:32

No, it's not allowed to ask outright, but a way of opening the dialogue might be "in this role you may be expected to work evenings or weekends, would that be a problem for you?".

Fireandashes · 19/08/2012 07:36

It's not illegal to ask (frowned on, but not illegal) IF every applicant, male and female, is asked the same question and so long as parental status is not used as the deciding factor when choosing who to appoint.

The difficulty of course is in proving that it wasn't used as the deciding factor, as it's such a red flag question - so good practice not to ask.

AGilchrist · 19/08/2012 07:40

It shouldn't be asked. But proving that's the reason is hard.
They can claim they asked because they see it as a positive or wanted to know more about her outside a work environment.
I would be surprised they gave her a second interview if that was really reason though. Its a bit of a waste of time. Unless they are really snide and can use the second interview as 'proof' being a mum didn't make a difference.
In which case, does she really want to work for them?

LindyHemming · 19/08/2012 07:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Margerykemp · 19/08/2012 08:07

She should put in a complaint via the employment tribunal.

It is up to the EMPLOYER to prove they have NOT discriminated not for her to prove they have. Since they asked her these questions it is almost impossible for them to argue they didn't discriminate because why ask the question unless you were using it in the decision making process?

She should ignore that they were 'nice' about it. That is just them trying to cover their backs.

BridgetJonesPants · 19/08/2012 08:09

Has your friend asked for feedback on why she didn't get the job?

Maybe it has nothing to do with the fact she has a young child and there was someone with even more experience.

threeleftfeet · 19/08/2012 08:17

I was asked in an interview if I was a mum. In fact I wasn't discriminated against for this - all the employees there were parents and I got the job.

It shouldn't have been asked however, and it turns out it was indicative of how unprofessional this outfit were - it was a nightmare place to work.

If asked this again - even if put in a positive light - I'd seriously question if I wanted to work there!

I would complain about this. They should know better.

Tempernillo · 19/08/2012 08:19

It is very poor practice. I was asked in a medical school interview about when I planned to start a family and the interviewer was promptly told off by another member of the panel! When I transferred to another medical school AFTER I had a child, they completely avoided the subject even though everyone was fully aware that was the only reason I was transferred! I had to have an informal chat AFTER they offered me a place to discuss my needs/special provisions regarding having a child. It may not be the reason your friend didn't get the job, but that is not the point. They are being very foolish if they regularly do this with female applicants and will no doubt get into trouble over it if they are not careful, and I think your friend should definitely say something.

GodisaDj · 19/08/2012 08:19

I would agree with Bridget, ask for feedback first.

It isn't discriminatory if asked but could be deemed so if the answers are used to make final decision and/or it is only asked of male or female.

Like Margaret said, you can submit a tribunal for alleged sex discrimination but your friend needs to ask what she wants out if it?

If she wants a job, then put her efforts in to finding another whilst making the Company aware of what they've done by letter (direct to their HR dept or HR Director, not through Agency)

If she wants money and to make Company aware of what they're doing being potentially deemed as discriminatory, then by all mean go down the ET route. It's a long route, might get her a bit of money, they might even change their mind and offer her a job. Like others have said, would you want to work for them.

messyisthenewtidy · 19/08/2012 08:20

I was once asked in an interview "how sick is your child?". They'd had someone previously who'd taken time off because their toddler was ill. I thought it was in pretty bad taste. Imagine if DS had had an awful illness!

Did you go through an agency OP? If so, you could ask them to ask any male candidates they sent to the interview if they got asked the same thing.

HermioneHatesHoovering · 19/08/2012 08:21

If you live near your user name then I think it is definately illegal!

TheWalkingDead · 19/08/2012 08:26

As PPs have said, it's good practice not to ask as it does leave the potential employer at risk of being seen to be discriminating.

At my last workplace, a female member of staff was asked "Are you going to have a baby?" on application for the job she was covering. She answered no, but was very, very shocked that she had been asked in the first place - she was friendly with the MD who asked the question so nervously laughed it off, but knowing the ethos of the company (very, very sexist old boy's club) if she had said the idea of having a baby wasn't off the table, I'm sure she wouldn't have gotten it.

messyisthenewtidy · 19/08/2012 08:26

To add to Godl's post: apart from money or getting this particular job, it would be a good idea to make the company aware that such a question shouldn't be asked. As someone upthread said, there are other ways to find out their time availability.

BeckAndCall · 19/08/2012 08:40

I think the interviewee showed their inexperience. However, you can ask the interviewee to answer any questions on what might stop them performing the job and how their circumstances might impact on their performance - and that includes travel arrangement etc. and that is different for every candidate.

But such a direct question as 'are you a mum' wouldn't really be appropriate unless it's as a 'relaxer' in the sense of 'tell me about yourself' ( still not allowed, I guess, but most people would answer conversationally)

If she feels discriminated against, she might take advice from an employment lawyer - you can't go directly to an Employment Tribunal, as suggested above - that's a court, not a service.

BeckAndCall · 19/08/2012 08:40

That's interview ER not EE........oops

eurochick · 19/08/2012 08:53

It's not illegal to ask, but it is illegal to discriminate on the basis of gender, so only asking women that question or letting it influence the decision-making process would be illegal. So it is best not to ask in the first place! Most HR depts would have a fit if they heard hat interviewers were asking such questions.

Original poster
MangawhaiHeads · 19/08/2012 09:03

Thanks, food for thought there. She's not out crying discrimination, more just thought it was a bit off to be asked, regardless of how relaxed it felt.

OP posts:
VivaLeBeaver · 19/08/2012 09:07

I got asked in an interview once how my boyfriend would be with me working in the evenings as I wouldn't be home to cook him his dinner. This was about 10 years ao but still!

LindyHemming · 19/08/2012 12:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KenLeeeeeee · 19/08/2012 12:28

I've learned here to always respond to questions like that with "Would you ask that of a male candidate?".

MrMiyagi · 19/08/2012 12:31

It really shouldn't, and if you do decide to pursue this OP, good luck.

Dawndonna · 19/08/2012 12:37

It should not be asked. It is grounds for legal discussion. If it were me I would be asking about the relevance of the question.

Socknickingpixie · 19/08/2012 12:43

i would not be happy if anybody that came for an interview with any company ive run was asked that.

but i am far more intrested in what they would do at a bus stop when driving a 2 seater car in a thunder storm with 3 different types of people waiting for a bus.

and how they would put a elephant in the fridge

StuntGirl · 19/08/2012 12:44

eurochick has got it spot on. If it were me I'd take it further, they should not be asking those questions.