to tell my 'friend' to shut up

[Arthursgirl]

Hello, using a friends account for this. Sorry english is not my first language.

So I have a DD and three DSs. One DS2 is adopted. He was the son of a friend I had in school who went down the wrong path. We were always in contact and when she got ill a few years back we agreed care for DS2 who is now 3, before my friend died.
I had DS3 a month ago and since then my friend who lives on the end of my street has been making strange comments, such as 'I bet if you knew you were having another DS you would of adopted a girl instead' and asking if I want another girl to even it out.
She doesn't know why we adopted DS2 just that he is adopted.
I have tried ignoring her comments, I tried avoiding her but it just makes her worse when I do bump into her. She has one DC who is older and lives in another town.
She won't talk to DH at all.
It's getting to the point when I want to hit her because she can say some really horrible things that I don't want my DCs picking up on.
So should I tell her too get lost?

Yes!

Yes! Just say 'I'm not interested in what you have to say' then change the subject. Or pull her up on it 'why does it bother you so much?'

Maybe she's jealous of your family? Either way she's a prat.

I have told her I am not interested and tried to change the subject but she just tries to bring it back to being horrid again

What about saying 'I'm going stop talking to you if you make any more hurtful comments about my DS' then walk off without saying a word every time she brings it up? That is if you want to keep in contact with her.

I'm not sure how you've managed to keep talking to her so far, she sounds a horrible person.

Are you just worried to come across as being rude? Her rudeness would far outstrip you telling her where to get off because you'd be defending your DS.

Are some people totally wrong-footed when it comes adoption do you think Mary? They don't know what to say and so come out with something they must be cringing at as they walk off?

Ignore her. She sounds like she has very shallow.

The 'miracle baby' remarks sound like they've had a Take A Break influence

You could make a shitload of cash!

I'm only thinking out loud so hope it's not offensive, but you know when you read my posts on here about how irritating other peoples children can be even if they're doing the same thing as your own DC, but you don't find you own DCs half as bad.

I wonder if the people commenting on adoption have a bit of the same, and find it difficult to understand how you could totally fall in love with someone else's child and have the same feelings for them that you have for your 'own' IYSWIM?

She's being horrible and she needs to shut up. Have a stock phrase to use and just repeat whenever she's so stupid.

Or tell her to fuck off.

I do think there's a media element in it too though. Like Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman's children are always referred to as 'Tom Cruise's adopted children'. No, they're just his children.

and also hers but let's not derail with Scientology chat

yes tell her to get lost.

Time for the MN favourite - just say "Do you mean to be so rude?" and look quizzical. If she actually has the brass neck to say yes, just say "oh wow" and shake your head sadly. Then walk away and never look back.