AIBU for being really pissed off with my sister

[shoesaremyfriends]

My mother is over visiting from Jamaica and has been staying with my sister. A few days ago I arranged to go to my sisters today (Saturday) so that my dd could meet up with her grandmother. I've never been that close to my mother and the last time she came over she stayed with me and we argued like mad. Anyhow, my sister called yesterday and said that my mother wanted to see my other sister, who lives quite close to me, so could they bring her over and then drop her off at my other sisters. I said that was fine but I was going out latter so it couldn't be a long visit.

My sister arrived and said that her and her husband wanted some time alone and I could catch up with my mum and she my other sister was picking her up latter today. she didn't even stay for 5 minutes. When she was gone my mother started unpacking her suitcase and said she was staying here. I then asked about my other sister and she said that she hadn't been able to get hold of her and until she did she was staying here.

It's clear that my sister knew that my other sister wasn't coming to get her and that she would be staying here. I have no food in the house as I've been working like a dog and haven't been shopping and now I have to work 12 hour a day and sleep on the sofa as I only live in a 2 bed flat... Whereas my sister lives in a 4 bedroom house, has a nanny flat and a empty spare house down the road which she rents out. She knows if she had asked me I would of said no.

Shouldn't you be pissed off with your mum who's turned up uninvited?

Yeah, you've been stitched up like a kipper.

Can't you kick her out?

Totaly understandable, but it will make nice memories for your DD if you can keep the peace and try to have some family time together.

YANBU your sisters obviously had enough of your mum and decided to dump her on you instead. How rude of your sister to you and your mum to force you both into this situation.

While this will drive you mental, one day, you will see the funny side, I promise. Ok, it may be while.....................

you're so right stitched up and Iisaro you're right... a long while. She has been here for 3 hours and has...

done the washing up, even though I told her I have a dishwasher... moaned about there being no washing up liquid, even though I told her I had a dishwasher, so did them with Ariel Actilift

complained about my home-made gravy, complained about the pork chop I cooked her, complained about the mash and said the peas were too hard.

"sorted" out my kitchen cupboards, so now if I want to get a plate out I have to move the cups and bowls out of the way.

Moaned about the mess in my bedroom (a basket full of clean clothes)... I'm on my 3rd glass of wine.

3 HOURS PEOPLE!!!

on the plus side she has offered to babysit...

Be careful, you may come back to a completely different baby!!

I'd love my mum to come and stay with me :( try and enjoy her and grit your teath through the hard bits.

Me to Honeytea but sometimes it's easier said than done. My saving grace and the reason I enjoy my mams visits now is that my partner tells her to stop washing up and sit down, she'll do anything he asks but not me.

Shoes, my mam used to do this. Before DP started standing up to her the only was to stay sane was smile and nod.

"Ok Mum, you can do the dishes if you want, but there is a dishwasher to save us both the job if you like " smile and nod

"Yes Mum, my room is messy" smile and nod

My Mam thought she was being helpful, she actually drove me barmy. DP explained that when she visits I'd rather sit WITH her than have my life picked to bits with her in the kitchen washing up. Nearly hit the floor when she listened to him.

Being civil will make you the bigger person than you sister, who, as another poster put it has stitched you like a kipper.

Sounds like there's nothing but hard bits though!

baby ok, house is quiet and I'm now thinking that having 3 generations of our family under the same roof is quite nice... I am quite drunk though and really didn't appreciate having to walk an extra mile home to get eggs, orange juice and bread for her breakfast tomorrow.

Still annoyed at my sister though and one of my friend summed it up by saying "wow, I'm surprised she didn't leave her on your doorstep and sent you a text telling you to open the door".

Can't you drive her over to the other sister or call a taxi? It sounds like it is all hard bits. Poor you.

Sounds like your sister reached the end of her tether and has passed the problem along in an effort to save her own sanity.

Good luck - wine is good.

Your sister is a devious cunning witch to have not told you what she was really up to! I suggest that you keep your mum for a couple of nights and then take her back to your sister, or to the other one. No reason why you should be lumbered for the rest of the holiday.

Did your mum know that you were being stitched up? Or did she think it had all been arranged?

I miss my Mum, seeing as how she's been dead for 5 years now, but I still wouldn't have wanted her to come and stay, she'd have driven me BATS.

You could turn this to your advantage, if she is the type of mum to clean let her clean. She could spring clean your house while she is hear. Buy her washing up liquid if she likes washing pots rather than using the dishwasher and while your at it buy some window cleaner, furniture polish etc. Your a winner both ways then you could have a free cleaner or she will be so upset at you for getting her to do the cleaning she won't want to stay with you next time. Maybe if she doesnt like your cooking she could cook.

Unless this mother is some evil witch, I feel sorry for her. It must be a bit shit flying halfway across the world to see your daughters only for none of them to actually want you there. :(

Anyone want to place bets on how many completely irrelevant, guilt trippy, self indulgent "if only my mum was still alive to visit me unexpectedly..." posts OP will get?

And regarding OP, you're correct, YANBU to be pissed off at your sister or your mum. Call them both out on this.

@ squeakytoy My mother is a bitter person that thinks everyone else is at fault for her 86 years of misery on this planet. She constantly moans about everything. I tried to take her shopping but nothing was cheap enough for her... me thinks she'd be happy digging through someone's skip but then again she'll probably moan about the bus fare there! It's hard for the family because whoever has her has to be reminded of what a hard life she's had, how we are to blame and be reminded of what a miserable childhood we had. But I think the hardest things is that she is unremorseful about anything, but will sit and bitch about other family members... it's hard to have so much hate and bitterness sat on the sofa.

So yes, it must be a bit shit flying halfway across the world to see your daughters only for none of them to actually want you there. But it's also a bit shit for her to fly halfway across the world to see her daughter only to bitch about them and make everyone feel crap about their lives and how much they have let her down.

ps I have spoken to my sister and she broke down in tears. She had enough and couldn't cope with her any more. So not pissed off with her.