to say that rather than pay CSA should make dads watch kids so mum can work

[omfgkillmenow]

I have a great education (honours degree 2:1) and good work experience, but live in a rural location with no CM's or any other childcare provision before/after school and during school holidays. Ex pays £19.71 a week. I know I could earn a decent living wage if he would take her after school and during holidays but he wont cos he says he has to work. Right now i work P/T and get housing benefit and tax credits and its not enough to cover outgoings or give DD a good lifestyle. Am so fed up because I know I could do so much better but am left literally holding the baby. Before I met EXH was a retail manager on decent money. Now I earn £98 a week. SO fed up.

anyone?

Can see where you are coming from but if they have to be made to do it?

No, would you really leave your child with a relative who was anything less than enthusiastic and grateful for the opportunity to spend time with them?

no offence, but your thread title is a bit.....unrealistic, no point in wasting time with things that are not going to happen.
I see why you feel fed up but.....
have you thought about setting up your own business at all?

I have set up my own business as a CM but as in a very rural area not much need for it hence the low wage, plus it took all my savngs to set up, but there's nothing really much else, I even took on a sunday job in a cafe (thats when exh has dd) but its minimum wage too. Am considering moving to a nearby town to improve prospects but am not sure its the right thing to do. Every month I bring in less than bills, last month washing machine, freezer and dishwasher all broke down. Its a lovely place DD swims in loch, beautiful views, but no work. When I moved here there was an out of school club but it closed due to lack of funding. EXh loves DD very much and apart from being so tight fisted is a great dad. Im in a state of flux and don't know what is the best for my family.

If something doesn't work, then rethink it. What else can you do? Is there a need for a nursery? Adapt or change is the key.

hm, I do know exactly what you mean, things are becoming tighter and tighter every month aren't they? I also live in a rural area and am thinking about moving to the city where I could advertise my business more effectively.
what DO people in your area need/want?
Selling stuff online seems to have worked for alot of people....

Also I don't see why it shouldn't happen TBH, if the mother has the better earning potential then surely the father should do the childcare whilst mother works to provide for family? Its just patriarchy! He earns what, maybe £150 a week? I could earn double at least!

there is a nursery that takes from age 3. I do like childminding, but it jsut doenst bring in enough money and i always have to buy new toys, paint and paper, just makes no money at all really. Ive tried avon, but theres about 5 reps already in my village, people in my town want cocaine and grass and I aint going down that road...

oh patriarchy.....whatever....if it's not going to happen, don't waste your energy with it. Anyway, if you could earn that with CM, what's the point in looking after other people's kid's leaving your own one with an unwilling dad?
the great thing about ebusiness,is that you can work any time to suit yourselves.

@ cocaine and grass.....

not joking melanie but at the risk of outing myself the place is known as "giro hill" cos no one works, i dont know the first thing about ebusiness?

i mean I could commute to glasgow if exh would watch dd

Have you asked him? What about an eBay business? Can you make something to sell? Candles?

candles? how many candles would you have to make to make a living? who buys candles, every shop in the village sells yankees...

yeah ive asked him, i asked him to take her for 1 week during school hols cos i could have covered someones holdiays in the cafe he said no

yes I knew one mum who went around the charity shops looking for quality clothes which she would model and sell on ebay. for example. hang on i will send you a private message.

oh and he lives 2 miles away

Fuck knows, but Jo Malone sells hers for £38 a pop! Don't write children's books, it's taken me a couple of years and I'm still unpublished. Can you knit? Bora goods are good.

Your ex sounds as 'helpful' as mine. Tossers.

well atm am willing to try anything

maybe i should write erotica and jump on the 50 bandwagon

Go for it!

What about 'Tales from the Highlands'? A wee bit of Scottish erotica? 'One Man and his Haggis'? 'A Thistle in her Fanjo'?

cleaners of the holiday lets up here get £10 an hour, but again early start, before school starts so no good. I think to myself I live in one of the most beautiful places on earth, surely money shouldn't matter...but then the bills come...

'As Jock slowly raised his sporran, Wendy let out a gasp.

'Ach, I've ne seen one that big before. Are you sure it will fit?' she sighed.
'Aye, I'm sure. Now, let's be given it a shot.'

A thistle in her fanjo? Have you ever felt a thistle? WTF Ill give it a bloody go

Do you have the space to rent out a room?