To think it's sad that you can't mention money on MN without being accused of scrounging?

[NettOlympicSuperstar]

So, Wednesday, I'd arranged a day out with my friend-window shopping (expensive place, can buy cheaper online!), then coffee and Aldi shopping.
I'd not seen her properly in a few weeks as it was the school holidays, but she had the day off for the first day back.
I get benefits, due to disability, and we get to the shop, I go to get money from the cash machine, and there's none.
We have no choice but to come home, and I spend the afternoon on hold/talking to people at DWP, who admit it's their fault, and fix the problem.
It takes four hours.
Now, I didn't post, I was with my friend and that would be rude, but I wouldn't have anyway, as someone, if not many people would have accused me of angling for cash.
I didn't need, nor want it, was just pissed off at DWP arseing up.
I get that folk do come on after cash, but it's got to the point now, if you mention it, you want it, which is bollocks.
Just saying.

I'm saying nowt.

Well, it depends.

If you post 'fuck DWP fucked up and I'm penniless until they fix it' people know you're having a moan and might assume you are asking for a handout.

If you post 'I have no money until payday, what on earth can I do? Are there still short term loans available?' People know you are asking for advice.

If you post 'Fucking fuckwits at DWP fucked up, thank god they are fixing it sharpish' people will know you are only moaning.

It's all in how you post, I think.

Well it is quite easy for posters to not give out their payp al details.
More than once I have read a supposed non begging thread where after one or two offers the op is giving an address for stuff to be sent to and a account for money to be paid in to! It is generally quite obvious who is after advice instead of money.

I posted about being skint yesterday and didn't get accused of any such thing. I did go on to say how happy I was to have got a cheque for nearly £200 from the inland revenue just when I needed it though. It was a positive rather than a moan about being skint.

Agree with Lemarch there is a massive difference to the 'venting at situation' and begging threads. The people venting tend to take advice given, the beggars come up with 101 different excuses as to why they can't and usually invoke a Tiny Tim like child.

That said, I'm pretty poor at the moment.........

If I'd read you post about that I would have thought you were having a moan about your afternoon with your friend being, it wouldn't even have occurred to me that there might be a possibility that you were hoping Randoms on the Internet would send you money.

I agree Tee, some of the more subtle posts 'AIBU to break into the tip at night to get some shoes for my daughter?" would be very much 'd at.

It is also suspicious when an OP complains about being totally broke, make a huge fuss about having 4-/- 6d to last the month and then gets a lot of posters offering useful ways of saving and making money.
Then after a few half-hearted squeaks about not managing and needing money, the OP disappears.
Disappointed by the response?

Being spoilt I meant there. Moaning about your afternoon with your friend being spoiled.

You seem to be complaining about a reaction that didn't happen. How do you know that people would have said that? I've seen loads of threads complaining about financial fuckups and only a minority have been accused of scrounging. Tends to be the ones where there are apparently NO possible solutions - the OP isn't taking any advice on board, just keeps going back to the "no money what can I do" theme. In your case, you'd have been ranting whilst on hold to DWP - i.e. clearly in the middle of sorting it out by yourself.

I've posted and never felt like that. I have had some offers and turned them down though as I would never like anyone to feel that I had done them over in any way. It's really extremely kind of them to have done so.

I posted something similar the other day, had a good old moan, shared some experience then finished with a surprised post when they sorted it all for me. No one accused me of anything.

It is usually a bit obvious if you've been here a while. Plus there's the old MN rule, don't give away more than you can afford or spare.

By "them" I meant DWP not anyone offering money or anything.

I don't agree at all.

I used to moan about money a lot - I'm really lucky we're in a better situation now. I got masses of advice and it does outweigh the (very) few who like to sneer at poor people. No one ever offered me money because it was clear that wasn't the solution, but I've seen people get lots of practical support when they did have financial issues.

I can't recall seeing much in the way of financial offers on MN. But I have seen loads of offers of assistance in the form of secondhand clothes, and even some incredible "I'll drop what I'm doing and drive straight over to assist you" type offers. Hell, a dozen MN'ers even saved up their ring pulls from fizzy drinks cans for me when I was on the scrounge and loads shared my dog's facebook page when we lost him. That generosity of spirit (and gratuitous use of swearwords) is what makes this nest of vipers liveable.

I think it's fine to moan and it's fine to ask for help if you need it. Just be clear about what you're looking for. What isn't cool is beating around the bush or playing on people's sympathies to guilt them into helping you. Most people are happy to help if they can, but nobody likes to feel manipulated.

It's how I feel, based on what I've seen.