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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my 3 dc in hotel room?

75 replies

BuntCadger · 17/08/2012 10:52

Dh, me and 3 dc going to a hotel in UK for a couple of night.
Dc are 12, 4 and 9 months. Was considering leaving them in hotel room while dh and I have an hour or so together in hotel lounge/bar. We wouldn't be drinking excessively, perhaps a glass of wine each.

Id settle the 2 little ones and my eldest would have mobile to call us if little ones woke. We wouldn't leave hotel either.

OP posts:
QuickLookUsainBolt · 17/08/2012 11:28

Boggles, if the op was at home, the baby would be upstairs in their cot and I would think the parents downstairs. No one is watching a 9 month old every second.

If anything did happen in the hotel room the ds can ring his parents immediately. They are only downstairs.

valiumredhead · 17/08/2012 11:29

At 13 I was regularly babysitting neighbours children.

SS would NOT be knocking on your door!

Birdsgottafly · 17/08/2012 11:41

OP, you know your 12 year old, if he can manage the baby then there isn't a problem.

There are lots of 12 year olds capable of looking after a baby, whilst the parents are in the same building.

My youngest would rather be plugged into her laptop, than go anywhere.

There is no point in all of you sitting in the room.

niceguy2 · 17/08/2012 11:44

I'd say it's fine. It will do your 12yr old a world of good to have a bit of responsibility. You get a small break. Win-win.

The whole what if there is a fire/nuclear attack thing is utter bollocks. If you parent with the worst case scenario all the time you wouldn't let your child cross the road because 'what if a car ran them over'.

ImpatientOne · 17/08/2012 11:50

I think it sounds fine.

Just to add to the fire alarm thing... I was in a hotel with my parents (different room) when a fire alarm when off. It was about 2am and I got dressed and went downstairs and waited in the car park for ages and finally saw my parents as almost the last ones out with the high vis vest bods. My mum had insisted on the fire marshals making sure 'her daughter' was out of my room, which they were happy to do.

I am not sure however that my mum has told them I was 28 at the time Grin Blush

janey68 · 17/08/2012 12:21

there is 99.9% probability everything will be fine.

However, as someone else said, I'm not a big fan of making older siblings responsible for younger ones. It's nice that the lad offered, but I think it's generally an unfair responsibility, and at 12 they should be enjoying their ipad, music or off for a swim on their own in the hotel pool without the responsibility that they are 'in charge' (albeit not far away from the parents)

Makes me very glad me and my brother are very close in age so babysitting for him wasn't an option when we were little.

Birdsgottafly · 17/08/2012 12:43

I have less worries about a 12 year old babysitting than going for a swim on their own (but thats another thread).

Ongoing responsibility for siblings isn't good, but occassional, gives the elder one life skills.

MagicHouse · 17/08/2012 12:54

Difficult one (for me!) Personally I wouldn't leave a 9 month old baby with another child (and 12 is still a child). But then I'm one of those people who does think worse case scenarios are possible. Fire in the room/ baby choking/ 12 year old himself knocking himself out on the bathroom/ becoming ill etc etc. Doesn't mean I avoid things necessarily. In this case I would be just as happy with a drink in the room, and sort out an older, more experienced babysitter, eg grandparent when I got back if I wanted a drink out. (Or else take a baby monitor, so I could hear for myself what was happening up there!)

Trioofprinces · 17/08/2012 13:00

Sounds fine to me. The 12 year old can phone you if there are any problems, you could be back with them in a couple of minutes.

We recently left our 11 and 8yo in a hotel room while we went to the bar for an hour. The boys liked it and so did we.

KittyFane1 · 17/08/2012 13:03

Why bother? Sorry but for a whole one hour and a drink? Not worth doing or agonising about. Shock

SoleSource · 17/08/2012 13:06

Go for it.

scentednappyhag · 17/08/2012 13:14

I don't see a problem, sounds not much different from what it would be like at home anyway Confused 9 months old isn't a newborn, I can't see why your average 12 year old would have a problem.
Also, at 12 I would have much rather been chilling in a hotel room with a book etc than sitting in a hotel bar with my horribly embarrassing parents Grin
Enjoy your hour off and wine with DH, sounds like a lovely little weekend Smile

NameChangeGalore · 17/08/2012 13:18

Countdown to when "she" is mentioned...

milkysmum · 17/08/2012 13:21

I would certainly do this.

Evasmum12 · 17/08/2012 13:28

I would!

And about the fire alarm thing, to put things in perspective; my dd was on SCBU for a long time after she was born, I arrived at the hospital in the morning and someone had called to say they had a bomb and were going to blow up the baby unit, the whole building had been evacuated apart from the intensive care unit. The police, fire service and hospital security couldn't and wouldnt stop me from going onto SCBU and sitting with my baby so I doubt a hotel receptionist would stand a chance! (They caught the lunatic who made the call btw and it was an empty threat, thankfully!)

Enjoy your break!

MissFaversam · 17/08/2012 13:41

Sounds absolutely fine to me too OP.

jojane · 17/08/2012 13:49

Make sure your 12 year ok knows to leave as quickly as possible in event of fire alarm, I am sure other adults on that floor would help him with the little ones to get downstairs.
In nice weather we sit in garden when kids in bed, we wouldnt hear a baby choking and check on them less than once an hour.

SirBoobAlot · 17/08/2012 13:53

I wouldn't be happy leaving a baby with a 12 year old, no matter how responsible he is.

janey68 · 17/08/2012 14:05

Blimey, fire alarms, fires and now bomb scares!
I think there's a danger of being over dramatic about this. Those of us who think it's not a great idea aren't necessarily assuming there will be fire or flood.

Tbh there is very little risk of anything untoward happening, and probably even less so with the baby than the 4 year old. Many babies just go to bed and sleep soundly. Tbh with dc1, me and DH could probably have nipped off to the pub and left her sleeping soundly alone in the house and no one would have been any the wiser, because from 12 weeks upwards she slept through the night barely stirring. Of course, we didn't do that. We booked a responsible adult to babysit, not because they were likely to need to do anything other than sit and watch telly, but precisely because of the key word: responsible. Most of the time, looking after a young child is fairly routine and mundane, but the reason you don't let other children do it (and a 12 year old is a child) is precisely because of that underlying responsibility. They may never be needed to do anything while babysitting, not even change a nappy, it may be literally watching telly, but the whole time they have responsibility for your child. I don't believe it's a fair responsibility to place on any kid.

BTW I am all in favour of older teens babysitting as it's a great way for them to earn money and be responsible. At age 16 I was earning a good wage babysitting neighbour's children.

But a 12 year old - no. Let him enjoy his evening, even if it just ipad and music, without having to be in charge of his younger siblings.

Original poster
BuntCadger · 17/08/2012 14:09

The pool shuts at 7 for children so no chance of him missing out on a swim. We aren't leaving the hotel, the small ones will be asleep, if they wake, he'll call me and I'll go back. I'm not talking about leaving the hotel or leaving him home alone while I go to shop or similar.

Actually it is not hugely different from dh & me being downstairs or in garden at home while dc up in bed thinking about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
BuntCadger · 17/08/2012 14:16

They will be asleep and it is for an hour. If they wake, I will return. Ds1 will be playing on iPad. This isn't foisted on him. He's a responsible trustworthy boy. I also think its good for him that we do trust him. It's not like we are going out for the whole evening.

OP posts:
Original poster
BuntCadger · 17/08/2012 14:17

I asked him what he would do if fire alarm went off and he said he'd pick up dd and wake up ds2.

OP posts:
Original poster
BuntCadger · 17/08/2012 14:20

Sorry pressed send early

And he'd take them downstairs if safe. Bless him. Wish I'd not asked tho as I wouldn't want him worrying about a very unlikely event. Good to know that he'd do right thing tho

OP posts:
Dancergirl · 17/08/2012 14:22

Oh for Gods sake, do it OP, it sounds fine!

All this paranoia about fires etc....in the event of a fire a public building if FAR safer than at home and secondly, how often do you hear about fires in hotels?

It's not even a whole evening, it's just an hour.

MrsPnut · 17/08/2012 14:25

I'd do it, and in fact 5 years ago we did leave DD1 aged 10.6 and dd2 aged 1.2 in a hotel room in Manchester whilst we had a drink in the bar.

Our room was on the ground floor and it was the Manchester airport travelodge. They came out to see us once or twice and we went in to see them a few times over the space of 2 hours.
There was no fire, no bomb scare, neither of them choked or hit their head, so we've done it a few more times since then.