A slightly random and sleep deprived AIBU?

[EricNorthmansFangBanger]

DD1 starts primary school in September, so today I took her uniform shopping. There is only one shop in town that stocks the 'official' uniform for the school if you will. Got her home and tried everything on, had a secret little sob that my pfb is growing up so quickly.

The problem is that I'm being niggled by thoughts that actually, the tie I got isn't the right tie even though I asked the assistant for it for her school. This has all been at 2am this morning (DD2 teething), so I've dug out the prospectus for the uniform list. No mention of a tie. I go onto the school website. Pictures of kids in the uniform but no school tie on any of them, even with shirts. . I seem to remember that when we went for the parents meeting the display was a red tie, which is not the tie I have bought.

Now, I probably sound a little bonkers (I'm blaming the pregnancy hormones ) but would I be unreasonable to ring the school repeatedly until someone answers to double check whether I have the right tie or if they even have any tie at all?

I also feel a bit that there so far seems to be no school tie, which I believe looks quite scruffy, so much so that I am wondering why I'd send her there if they don't wear a tie.

AIBU?

Do you know anyone else who's child attendant or will be attending? I would try to ask around first. I doubt there will be anyone at the school to answer before school starts.

I was going to suggest the same thing, can you text one of the other mums?

Unfortunately I don't know any of the other mums, so can't ask them. Just worrying about sending DD1 in on her first day in the wrong thing. Also, if there isn't a tie I wouldn't have bothered with any pinafores or actual shirts as I think they'll look silly without a tie. Don't want DD1 to just be wearing polo shirts for the whole school year either though.

Perhaps... it's a bit late to be considering switching because of tie/no tie isn't it? I would let her go and ask her at the end of term 1 how she likes it and how the other children are. Or read the Ofsted report - not so much the marks but comments, especially about support for talented pupils and any clues as to number of potentially disruptive pupils. I am assuming you are worried the 'low standards' in the uniform are symptomatic of the teaching and pupil behaviour; also that you consider your DD high potential and not someone you want to be let down by those standards.

Also you could grill the teachers at parents evening about any concerns and, if it turns out to be so, why a tie is not part of uniform. If anything comes up/ if DD not happy look then to switch for second year.

Rachog's suggestion is good about finding a current attendee. Do you go to church/clubs or similar where there may be a contact?

There will probably be 1 or 2 inset days prior to pupil return; you could call then and resolve at the last minute if necessary. Dont see an issue unless you are away or obsessive about having your life completely ordered well in advance.

It's easy to obsess about things in the middle of the night while awake with bloody pregnancy insomnia forgets its not my thread

I say about wondering why I'd let her go there in jest to be honest. I just find no school tie a really strange concept, all of the schools I've come across so far seem to all have a tie in their uniform and without one I just think that it doesn't look as nice really.

The Ofsted reports for the school are good and it is a very good school from everything I've read. Children at the school seemed polite etc when we've visited. It is a catholic primary school but we have not yet had the chance to attend the church, which we will have to remedy. I'll try and serif there's any way I can find out without contacting the school :)

Thank you all for the replies.

When I was 36 weeks pg I lay awake all night worrying 'cos we didn't have a changing mat...

Go back to the shop, explain your doubts and ask for confirmation that they've sold you the right stuff.

I think go to the shop, buy a big block of chocolate, get someone to watch DD all day for a few hours and put your feet up. (not in any way making light of your tie dilemma).

Oh and get DH/P to sort out the tie

if you go on netmums local noticeboards you should be able to find people whos dc go to the same school then ask them about the tie!

personally i find it a bit weird if they start them off with tie in reception, ive never really seen any schools doing that?! so no tie is not that weird??