To be uneasy at money from inlaws?

[BrittaPerry]

Ok, we are not rich. Me and DH each work part time, I am just recovering from serious health problems and am a student, dh had to be art time to look after me abd is struggling to find secure full time work. We claim some benefits, and we live a fairly cheap lifestyle. Recently we have had ome skint times, but that has been more a failure of budgeting than lack of money, if that makes sense.

Dh texted me (I'm away ATM) to tell me that his dad will be giving us £100 a month till dh gets a better job.

Now, obviously, massively grateful for the offer, but I would rather turn it down, or very gratefully suggest they buy, eg, the school dinners, or swimming/music lessons for the kids, driving lessons for dh, or something.

We do have luxuries in our life - we have a mobile each, Internet, newspaper subscription, I sometimes get a taxi short distances or buy a dress that I don't actually need, etc. nothing major, but we could shave £100 from our spending. I'm a bit worried, not that they will actually say anything, but that I will feel that I need to justify myself.

Am I being ridiculous?

My mum gave us that when I cut down my hours at work from full time to 3 days. Neither of us a problem with her offering. It was to help out with the reduction in my pay and there were no strings or expectations.

When our financial situation improved and they got the nursery funding, we told my mum so she could make the decision to keep giving us the money or stop.

Similar thing happened to us. lots of history with PIL another thread In the end we got used to the extra income and they withdraw it at the worst possible time. I didnt want it in the first place and wish i had returned it.

Mind you, there is a big difference between my parents and the outlaws. My parents never add conditions, there is always something the outlaws expect in return.

I think it's OK to accept help from family. My parents have helped us from time to time. We've been very grateful, but never felt beholden to them

I think it's fine and they are being lovely - as the other posters I'd like to help my DS when they are adults.

Errr no it wont count as income towards benefits. It will count as a gift from the FiL as that is what it is!!! If your parents give you monet for your birthday, you don't declare that as income - this is no different!

You do have to declare regular income to the household, just as you have to declare investments and assets. Whether this will be enough to mean they lose benefits is a different matter.

If I want to give my DS a hundred quid or a thousand quid for any reason I like, I wouldn't expect him to have to discuss it with his partner before accepting it (he's a toddler, but thinking ahead!).

Likewise, when my dad gives me the odd kickback, it wouldn't enter my head to check with my DP before biting dad's hand off graciously accepting.

Really, you're meant to consult your other half before accepting cash from people who love you? OP, take the money, be grateful.

If they're normal/not controlling people then accept graciuosly and use it for something very specific like the examples you've given and then tell them that's what you've spent it on.

If they have been weird in the past about stuff then that's different.