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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think it shouldn't take EXHs family 2 years to learn to spell a 5 letter name

88 replies

Thing3 · 16/08/2012 23:57

DD3 turned 2 today. Her name is Niamh, maybe a little unusual if you haven't heard of it before but easily learnable.

She got a card today saying to Niamph.

Is Niamh really that hard to learn or are they simply not bothering?

I'm not upset about it, just wandering if this is usual?

OP posts:

LemonOCOGTurd · 17/08/2012 03:01

My grandmother and aunt have never spelled my name correctly - I'm 32!

I've stopped worrying about it.

toddlerama · 17/08/2012 03:11

All of DHs family bar my lovely sil spell dd1s name wrong on EVERYTHING! She is 5 and can't understand why grown ups can't get it right. I stopped correcting them when she was 3. I think they're just trying to imply its not a name (it bloody is, google it bitches )

flow4 · 17/08/2012 04:01

MY friend's daughter is called Niamh. They have just gone on holiday to Ireland, and her first comment was that it would be really nice to be somewhere where people knew how to spell her name! :)

mockingjay · 17/08/2012 06:35

I think you pretty much have to get used to it. Nearly 30 years on, my extended family still can't spell my 5 letter name. And it's not an unusual name/spelling either, totally phonetic.

Am waiting to see their first attempts at DH's name, which is considerably longer

sashh · 17/08/2012 06:43

At least they tried, it could have been Neve.

I have an aunt who has never spelled my name the spelling my parents gave me.

storminabuttercup · 17/08/2012 07:05

My cousin is thirty and my mum still doesn't spell her name right, it's a very popular name, four letters. Never spelt how my mum does, yet my mum insists it's right.

exoticfruits · 17/08/2012 07:16

I think that if you choose a name like that you accept that you face a lifetime of spelling it. There is nothing to say that you shouldn't choose it but just that there is no point in getting annoyed when people do get it wrong.

downbythewater · 17/08/2012 07:32

This thread makes me feel slightly better- DD2 has a long name, and is known by a shortened version DH's family never spell the shortened version the way we do- in fact it's different every time! Think along the lines of Madeleine- Maddy, Maddi, Madi, Mady. It drives me crazy! I was especially when they brought back personalised name bracelets for all the grandchildren from holiday, and only DD2's was spelt wrong (despite SIL's kids all having odd spellings of 'normal' names)

lovebunny · 17/08/2012 07:42

my own family couldn't cope with dd's middle name - sian. whether you go for the 'ann' sound or the 'arn', they still couldn't get it. 'sean' they could manage. or sh- ow - n, with great and mocking movements of the mouth. bizarre. its not hard.

Bluestocking · 17/08/2012 08:00

You could try buying them a birthday calendar with Niamh's birthday filled in, with her name written VERY CLEARLY IN CAPITALS for the hard of thinking.

HappyJustToBe · 17/08/2012 08:04

My family spell DD's shortened name wrong and differently each time as well. Also similar to the Maddy/Maddi/Maddie conundrum.

My Dad, who chose my name, just sent me a text message with my name spelled wrongly. I've given up on him now!

ithaka · 17/08/2012 08:07

I have a name that can end in an 'ie' or a 'y'. I am totally used to be people getting it wrong, even that know me very well, or even in reply to an email where my name is at the end.

I think it is not worth sweating these things - names like Molly/Mollie; Marian/Marion; Stephen/Steven are likely to be incorrect 50% of the time!

Sunnydelight · 17/08/2012 08:09

But it's NOT an unusual name - to a lot of people, including me, it is totally bog standard. The UK is a multicultural society - people should be way beyond thinking "if you choose a name like that you face a lifetime of spelling it". Not being able to get a family member's name right after, presumably, being told it is disrespectful beyond belief.

diddl · 17/08/2012 08:10

I think it´s rude tbh.

Do they not care enough about her to bother?

If you choose an difficult name you have to expect it?-what a lazy attitude.

Vagaceratops · 17/08/2012 08:17

I have exactly the same problem with 2 of my DC's - DS2 everybody uses a Z rather than an S, and with DD I get y instead of ie.

It drives me crackers. They are not some special spellings, they are common spellings and I think its courtesy to learn how to spell someones name.

TwiggysWittyOlympicNameChange · 17/08/2012 08:17

My DD has a name that could be spelled two different ways and I totally understand people spelling it the 'other' way. However, it can NOT be spelled the way that my cousins spell it every single time. I'm constantly amazed at it - their spelling doesn't even SOUND like her name and they've heard it countless times!

It's not this name but think Isobel vs. Isabelle - either of those is understandable yet they'd spell it Iasballe.

NameChangeGalore · 17/08/2012 08:20

My own dad can't pronounce DD's name and often calls DS a "she".

danteV · 17/08/2012 08:23

Yabu, my family in Ireland still send cards to 'lorra' not 'Laura'.
I think its nice they at least sent a card.
My grandfather thought dd was called 'marrisa' until she was 2 (its not) and even tried to argue with my mum that she was wrong. It made me laugh. He is not great with names.
My niece is called Sophia and every Christmas and birthday I can't remember if its ph or f. So I let dh do the card as its his sister child. I can't be losses off at if he spells it wrong.

postolympicblues · 17/08/2012 08:30

if somebody has been to the trouble of remembering your dc birthday, going out to buy,writing and sending a card, then it is you who is being rude and disrepectful to be criticising,not them for making an unintentional spelling mistake

Scrounginscum · 17/08/2012 08:35

I think if you have a name like that then you have to expect strangers to have to ask how to spell it. However you should be able to expect family to spell it correctly after being told how to spell it.

downbythewater · 17/08/2012 08:46

Postolympicblues, I would agree if it was just random friends- I agonised over whether a friend's DD was Sofia or Sophia and still got it wrong!

However I think grandparents should learn how to spell their grandchildren's names!

trikken · 17/08/2012 09:00

Dd's middle name is unusual so doesn't get mentioned by anyone but us as no one can remember how it is pronounced or spelt. It does annou me a little but we are used to it now.

BulldogDrummond · 17/08/2012 09:08

Well, I'm sure we've all heard of Niamh Cusack (actress in Heartbeat and other television programmes and films) so if people cannot spell that name, they need to take spelling lessons.

Sirzy · 17/08/2012 09:11

So because an actress has a name everyone should be able to spell it?

Some people struggle with spelling, other people get confused with spellings of names. It's hardly something to get upset about!

YouOldSlag · 17/08/2012 09:17

Well, I'm sure we've all heard of Niamh Cusack (actress in Heartbeat and other television programmes and films) so if people cannot spell that name, they need to take spelling lessons.

So despite having a degree in English, but not having watched early Heartbeat, I need spelling lessons?

Niamh is a Gaelic name (correct me if I'm wrong, MN), so it's not a big stretch to realise that people who don't speak or write Gaelic won't find the spelling easy.

As a youngster, I though Niamh was pronounced "Ny-AM" and Siobhan "Sy-o-Ban". It's a totally different language. It doesn't come naturally and isn't pronounced phonetically.

I'm not saying it's wrong, but if you choose to use a Gaelic name in a non Gaelic speaking family, don't be too surprised if people struggle to remember the spelling.

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