To let him do a lie detector test?

[Igglepiggle999]

If you've seen my other post you'll know we've had a few
Problems,
However these were whilst we were apart ( although he was begging me to take him back but thats all in the other thread )
I'm not suggesting anything such as bloody Jeremy Kyle, but a private thing whereby they come to your home to complete the test.
The questions would be

1. Have you ever cheated whilst together?
2. Did you use protection everytime you slept with the other woman?
3. Have you ever used dating websites whilst together?
4. Did you tell her about us in the first converstation you had with her after we got back together?
5. Did you suggest to meet her or anything sexual once we resumed our relationship?

He says he is willing to Do these questions if it means he can save out relationship and Restore a bit of the trust he has broken by lying.

If you're so unsure of your partner that you want him to do a lie detector test (over some serious trust issues) then your relationship is on very dodgy ground. I would find someone who makes you feel confident and sure of yourself. (Easier said than done I know. But more likely to happen if you tell yourself you are worth more than this, and believe it.)

I may be wrong, but from your recent posts, I get the impression that you don't want to be with him and maybe this is you looking for a way out?

I tell you what would tell you more. Get a key logger and see how many times he Googled, 'how to pass lie detector'. My guess is at least once.

Just put this to bed. You don't trust him.

You don't trust him. Just move on rather than resorting to this kind of nonsense.

BTW, I'm a lawyer and work on cases worth millions. Don't you think we would use a lie detector test on the other side's witnesses if it worked?

If you feel the need to ask him those questions, regardless of whether he's telling the truth or not, you clearly don't trust him. The relationship is doomed.
Don't waste your money paying for a lie detector.

You'd be better off paying for relationship counselling.

When I have watches JK I always think that if a relationship has got to that's stage, its over.
Say he takes it and passes. What's going to stop you thinking 'well he passed the test, what if he is cheating now. HE knows I won't make take a regular test.' OR 'what if he just beat the test?'.
Lie detector test have alot of mixed rates of accuracy. The people who do them say 95% Other sources say as little as 55%.
Do you want to base your live choices on something that's proven as accurate?

"although he has lied, if I knew he hadn't cheated or was planning on cheating" -Does this mean it's ok for him to lie about other stuff? My DH doesn't lie to me, I don't lie to him, it undermines the foundations of your relationship because it causes an inherent lack of trust - and even if he's not planning on cheating today, he could see a great pair of legs tomorrow and change his mind. The test wouldn't tell you anything worth knowing.

Sorry but whether he's been faithful or not is the least of your problems tbh. I'd be avoiding a relationship with anyone who thought it was acceptable to lie to me.

If I ever got to the point of needing my other half to take a test I would assume it's over anyway tbh.

OP, if you are living in a relationship where full trust is not available, end it,

and if you want to start a new relationship (with the same person) let them take the responsibility for allaying your fears, don't give it any more energy, save your energy for positive things, that benefit you.

Decide what it is that would completely reassure you that you can trust the other person in the relationship, and inform them, if they can and want to, they will provide that.

Leave it to them, If they created a situation in which you find yourself, let them use their resources to remedy problem.

Just keep doing what is best for you, and allow yourself time to grieve for the trouble free life you had quite rightly expected.

Like others have said, if it was at the point that I had to do a lie detector test to see if he was telling the truth, I'd end it.

if you are "where you seem to be " is that where you wanna be ? have you ever found yourself going thru his jacket pockets ?

The fact he's willing to do the test prices to me somewhat he's telling the truth.

Well yes. I expect he's equally keen to swear on the Bible/his mother's life and all the other less than convincing ways to persuade a partner of truthfulness.

But in reality, the fact that you are even considering a lie detector test is a sign that this relationship is doomed. It's a totally bizarre way to go about things and I suspect will prove nothing more than you've lost all trust. When trust goes out of the window, the entire relationship usually follows it.

Yabu to even consider it, anyone with any grasp of statistics would go nowhere near one of them. And it's immoral for JK to present them as fact.

(though if you do use one, promise me you'll say "well well well..." before the big reveal)

so he takes the test. what have you gained? you know (or think you know) whether he's been with someone else and used protection. he's still been unfaithful (or not). sounds from your questions as if you already know about at least one extra relationship.

why not save the money on the lie detector and leave him?

For goodness sake, this is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Previously you said you were worried about what he was doing while you were split up, if you are concerned he didn't use protection go to a clinic and get him checked as that does effect you, the rest of it is none of your business. To be mooching through his emails and wanting him to do a lie detector and thinking you have every right to do so as you previously said 'you should have no secrets' is just crazy. This is a totally disfunctional relationship and the sooner it ends the better. If you think checking up on him every 2 seconds is going to help the situation then you are very very wrong its only going to make it worse.

Good god you can't live like this. A lie detector isn't suddenly going to make everything all right. You need to address the issues rather than using a not accurate machine to get answers.

Like others have said, if it came to the point where I needed a lie detector, I'd be out of there.

I didn't read the other thread but OP, the relationship is clearly dead. Do yourself a favour and make a clean break.

I think you feel the test will give you some kind of closure or something? Walking away head held high will help you get over it better in the long run.

I'm with most on here, if it's got to the point where you want to do tests, the relationship isn't worth pursuing.